Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.
Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.
Day 4
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.
Day 5
What absolute bliss!!.
Day 6
Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.
Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it's very nice - I don't think I've ever been so happy.
Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.
Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.
Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over....
Day 11
I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig.
Day 12
I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has
become dangerous...
Day 13
Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the bastard.
Day 14
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me!
Day 15
I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go and **** himself and he did.
Day 16
The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.
Day 17
Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference...Christ! Here he comes again!
Day 18
He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!
2006-12-13 05:07:18 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
darling
been marriaged 36 years i can still manage but not like i did
he should have cut the pills in half and he would have only got a semi hxrd on still laughing 10/10
2006-12-13 16:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Para aquellos que sufren de disfunción eréctil recomendaría probar este prootto naturales innovatio que es verdaderamente milagroso http://mejorarereccion.info
Muchos hombres son ocasionalmente expuestos a las dificultades de erección y esta experiencia se vive psicológicamente de una manera muy negativa.
Una erección es un complejo de respuesta fisiológica que depende de unos mecanismos de integración sin fisuras de vascular, endocrino y neurológico. I indicaron que el producto es ciertamente capaz de garantizar una erección perfecta.
2014-11-21 06:01:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty funny!... it seems like you may just need to use the Viagra once a month or once every other month.
2006-12-13 05:16:12 · answer #3 · answered by gww1911 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not put him back on the Viagra and hire him out?
2006-12-13 05:18:03 · answer #4 · answered by colcamp260 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny!
2006-12-13 05:11:35 · answer #5 · answered by P&B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG this was really hysterical. I laughed myself silly, still in the floor laughing silly. Barely typing over laughing.
2006-12-13 06:34:45 · answer #6 · answered by LunaFaye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a place for questions and answers. If the sex problems are that bad in your marriage , buy your self a shower head. it works wonders. now, if you have been with this man 25 years ,then girl you have more in common with the man than sex.Be thankful you found someone to stick with you in the good or bad. enjoy life !
2006-12-13 05:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by srstephens 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
that was soooooo funny..
keep up the good work... tc and thx 4 the funnies
ps when does the tour start
2006-12-13 05:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would say he needs to change his tone, or its off to the court house to sign the divorce papers. give him an ultamatium.
2006-12-13 05:10:06 · answer #9 · answered by Tyler C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just goes to show that if you leave things as they are then they can only get better - if you try and change things, then they can only get worse.
lol .... very funny - i enjoyed it immensely, as i do with all of your jokes and stories.
:-)
2006-12-13 06:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋