My daughter is 15 and has been with her 16 year old daughter for 3 years. They love each other and we all get along very well. He is a good young man and works a good job at Pizza Hut. My daughter wants to have his baby so bad. It is all she talks about day and night. She wants to experience the joy of motherhood and cannot wait until she is done with high school.
My husband and I think that it is a good idea for her to go ahead now and have the baby if she wants to. Its her life and her body and she is old enough to make her own decisions. She knows that it will not be easy but with her boyfriends help I am sure the two of them will do just fine.
2006-12-13 04:49:42 · 57 answers · asked by mamabag06 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have some personal advice for you....One of my BEST friends, thought that she also at the age of 16 wanted to be a mother, to experiance the joys of having a baby around to love and be loved by....her boyfriend at the time was 17, and he worked at Wendy's and she didn't work anywhere,...she got pregnant, when they first started trying....6 months down the road, she wanted to take it all back, she was tired of feeling sick, not being able to eat the things she loved because they made her sick now, the back aches, not being able to go out with all of us (her friends), adn then her and her guy were fighting all of the time.....and then when the baby came, they inded up breaking up, she takes care of the baby by herself now, and she is now 17 and really wants to find someone nice to date, but she can't because they either see her baby girl and run, or their parents find out and forbid it.....
I understand that you want you daughter to have and do what makes her happy....but just from watching my friend, and her struggle, and being there with her and watching the baby while she is TRYING to finish high school, I know that maybe you need to sit down with you daughter and discuss ALL of the possibilities...
Like her finding a good job, because she will need one and he'll need a better one
things the baby will need, not to mention, all the care and attention it needs...
but also, she is still YOUR child...do you think she needs a child right now......
Just my opinion....
2006-12-13 05:05:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Okay here are a few reasons not too..
1. Pizza Hut is NOT a good job for supporting a family of 3.
2. At 16 your daughter may want a baby but she is not an adult yet.
3. Why not promote marriage first with them.
4. It sounds more like you want another baby around and having your daughter have it will be easier.
Her boyfriend will only be able to help so much, She will be the one up every single night feeding the baby taking care of it, while she tries to finish school. Not saying it cant be done. But most of the teenage girls who have had there babies and done this, Although do not regret it wish they had waited because of how hard it is.
As a parent you try to keep your kids young as long as possible and here you are farming your daughter out to be an adult. Shame on you. Let her enjoy being a teen. Do not encourage this behavior!!
Judging by the other questions you have asked. Either your full of fun and interesting questions or you have the most dysfunctional family I have ever seen.
2006-12-13 04:56:33 · answer #2 · answered by Issym 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I hope I don't sound too mean, but
ARE YOU CRAZY?!?
I'm 15, and I would never have a baby yet. If she's still in High School, she would have to drop out to take care of the kid. Also, Pizza Hut isn't enough to even support the boyfriend by himself! I would keep an eye out for your daughter if I were you, and make sure they don't do anything stupid.
You may be sure that the two of them will do just fine now, but once the baby enters the situation, everything will change. Your daughter would be extremely lucky if he didn't ditch her.
The other thing that would happen is that she would ask YOU to take care of the kid. You don't want another person to take care of, do you? Tell her NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS, and tell her that she should, or better yet, WILL NEVER see her boyfriend again if she tries to do this.
I know it's a big temptation, but it's not worth it. Wait until she's married; then it's okay.
2006-12-13 08:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by Joshua Z 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry lady, this is a bad decision. I'll give you 3 reasons.
1. If she's taking care of the kid and he's working like a dog, neither of them will ever have time to go to college, which means it will be very difficult for them to ever achieve financial independence. The highest goal they can shoot for is him getting promoted to Manager at Pizza Hut, which probably brings in around $30,000. That may sound doable today, but within about 10 years, inflation is going to bite them in the ***. Are you prepared to support them for the rest of YOUR life? Probably not. At least one if not both of these kids need to learn some marketable skills so they have any chance at a regular job, and they need to do it before they have a baby.
2. What a 15-year-old wants is rarely what's best for the 15-year-old. Just because she says she wants a baby more than anything in the world doesn't mean it's a good idea, nor does it mean she won't realize what a mistake she's made the moment she finds out she's pregnant. When I was 15, what I wanted to do more than anything in the world was get drunk with my friends. Just because I wanted it doesn't mean it was what was best for me, or even a good decision in the short term OR the long term. Plus, what about tomorrow? You have no guarantee that he won't cheat, that she won't cheat, or that something else could happen to make them not be together anymore one year from now. They need to grow up first.
3. These kids don't seem to understand how much they'll regret giving up the rest of their childhood if they do this right now. I had a friend who got married when he was 22 and immediately they had twins, and all of a sudden all we ever heard from him was sob stories about how he "didn't get to party anymore" because he had to go straight home from work and change diapers. Sure, we all grew up and got responsible eventually, but he right away thought it was too soon and he was missing out on other things. As the grandparent, you are going to HATE this guy the minute you hear him saying something about how your daughter and their child are putting the brakes on his social life.
2006-12-13 05:15:57 · answer #4 · answered by Austin W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy?? a 15 and 16 year old are not ready for a baby. Do they make enough to start saving for their baby's college? Does he had medical benifits? And what kids want at 15 and 16 arent always what they want at 25 or 30 and then what happens?? We all want things but it doesnt mean we should have them. Also a 15 year olds body isnt really ready to be pregnant. There is a HIGH percentage of girls (she is a girl!!!) that age having premies, is she ready to handle the problems that can go along with that? Are they financially ready if their baby has to be hospitalized ? Are they ready to be little adults???To a girl that age that probably sees other girls pregnant its "cute" But she certainly isnt ready to handle the what if's of pregnancy. What if she looses the baby (which at that age is a high probability) Can she handle the emotions of losing a baby? WHY as a parent would you encourage that?? My daughters are 14 and 16 and THERE IS NO WAY they are ready for a baby and they are VERY mature. Encourage her to get an education, to be part of extracuricullar activities, volunteer in her community, live the life a teenager should live. She has MANY years to become pregnant. I think your daughter needs an adult as a parent, you encouraging this is soo wrong. so very wrong.
2006-12-13 05:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by mpwife_99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They don't know what they want right now. They are teenagers. A family seems like a great idea, when they graduate high school. When they have their own house, when she can drive a car without an adult in it. When he has a career, not just a pizza job. Having a family is lovely, so is being able to support it. It is very expensive having a baby. You should know. How will she pay for this baby? The doctor appts? The food, diapers, toys, clothes, clothes and more clothes. You know how fast they grow. I think it is your job to tell her to graduate then have a family. Who is going to take care of the baby when she is at school? When he is at work? You? Have fun with that. babies rasing babies isn't a good idea. Health issues with her having a baby. she is very young, her body isn't mature enough for that. Sure people use to have babies that yonug a long time ago, they didnt live long either. If they are truly serious, let them get married and raise a family. Live on their own. That is how you will know this is what is right.
2006-12-13 05:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by Brandy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A lot of parents want more for their children. I would like my baby to live more before having a baby of her own. I want her to travel to experience life to not be saddled into something she will later regret. She may love her boyfriend now at 15 but there will come a day and a time that she will be sorry she didnt experience anything like freedom. She was under your thumb and now she will be under her boyfriend and her babies thumb. I think its a bad idea, and if you want to help your daughter live a more filling life then you would not encourage this. Its your call though and this is how things were done in the old days. But if you dont mind me asking why in the world dont you want your daughter to finish school and get a good job? Do you want her to rely on you for the rest of her life? Pizza hut is not even a good job, its a stupid job for chumps and isnt going to support the baby. I have an outline of how this will work for her....
she is going to resent having the baby break up with her boyfriend be on welfair and she can thank you and your lack of brains for this. GOod job mom.
2006-12-13 07:53:16 · answer #7 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do not think its a good idea for a 15 year old to have a baby...she is just a kid herself. the stress on her and the unborn baby would be bad for your daughter...my friend had a baby at 16 and they almost had to have a c-scection because her hips didn't widen enough and the baby was very under weight and she went full term..plus the job he has can't support him self your daughter and this baby...I waited til I was 20 years old before me and my husband had our daughter..it was the best discicion i have made...My parents taught me to wait til i was married and was older...i think its a good idea to make her wait...she isn't even out of highschool yet...did she even think of the name calling she will have if she's pregnant and going to school?? And how much YOU the grandmother will be taking care of this baby when she HAS to go to school?? What if they break up then what? There are a lot of different questions you and your husband should ask your selves
2006-12-13 05:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should act like the parent and tell your daughter that it is hard to raise a child while she is still in high school and maybe pizza hut pays good enough for a single 16 year old boy but that it does not pay enough to support a family of three.. and if you and your husband think that it is a good idea; then yall are not very good parents to begin with.. your daughter needs to have a diploma of some kind and a good job before she should start a family and she should make sure that the daddy of the baby has a good enough job to support them also..
2006-12-13 04:57:42 · answer #9 · answered by Emi 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It seems like your daughter understands the positives of having a baby, but it does not seem like she fully understands all of the consequences. If she has a baby at the age of fifteen, then she may not be able to continue her education, and her boyfriend may not be able to get a better job than Pizza Hut. I think it depends on how much you and your husband would be willing to help your daughter to raise her baby. Your daughter probably does not realize the permanance of the situation. Your daughter will not be able to do so many things in high school, like go to parties, or go to the mall with her friends without bringing her baby with her.
Only you know your daughter, after all, they say that mother knows best. I just think you should make sure your daughter knows the permanance of the situation and all of the consequences aside from the benefits.
Good luck!
2006-12-13 04:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I cannot believe a mother would ask this question. Sex and children should be reserved for marriage. Granted motherhood is a joy. I have a 15 yr old daughter and a 18 yr old son- I would not change that for the world- but motherhood can be hard, and a 15 yr old is not mature enough to be a mom. She is still a child herself. If my daughter got pregnant, of course I would support her, encourage her to carry the baby to term, however I would not under any circumstance support her or encourage her to try to get pregnant.
2006-12-13 04:58:07 · answer #11 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋