Is arguing good for a relationship?

Question

My boyfriend and i tend to argue at least 3 times a week. He works out of town through the week so most of our disagreements are over the phone. When we're together on the weekend we never argue....but most of our time is spent apart and we end teh disgreement with in the same hour or so.

Answer 1

Are disagreements inevitable? Yes.

Is conducting an argument over the phone good for a relationship? Absolutely not.

Being separated during the week is some strain on the relationship already. Someone is not fighting fair if the arguments ONLY happen when you cannot see each other. It's too easy to hang up the phone or give in to the other person for the wrong reasons.

Answer 2

It depends on the arguing. Some arguments can be productive.

However, if you are arguing three times a week, something sounds wrong. Is this arguing having a bad effect on your life outside of the relationship? Do you feel more depressed after you argue with your boyfriend or do you feel that the initial problem has been solved?

There are lots of reasons why couples argue. As long as the argument isn't abuse or constantly being brought up, there is nothing wrong with an argument here and there.

Talk to your boyfriend about these arguments. Find out how he feels about the situation. Understanding each other's thoughts and feelings on a specific subject is the first step to less arguments.

Good luck!

Answer 3

some healthy arguing can be good for a relationship, it helps a couple define their relationship and can add energy into the mutual bond. As the relationship grows the arguments should be tamer and less frequent as the couple compromises and understands one another and are on the same page. If it doesn't progress than you may need to reassess the relationship, because we shouldn't be making the same mistakes or same problems repeatedly.

However, if the arguing is unhealthy where one or both is trying to hurt the other it could get bad and thereby be detrimental to the relationship. this usually happens when one or both participants have character flaws or just don't know how to argue fairly. just anybody who does marital counseling (including ministers) have a list of rules on arguing fairly.

if you're arguing 3 times a week and not arguing when you're together, it sounds like one or both of you are distraught about being away from one another and needs a little more assurance about the relationship.

Answer 4

Well, my first question would be: what are you arguing about? Is it just trivial things or major differences is lifestyle or moral views? Or are you simply arguing about the fact that most of your time is spent apart? If that's the case, then you need to address the root of the problem. Find more creative ways to spend more time together. It seems like that would alleviate most of your contentions.

You said 'most' of your arguments are on the phone, so I have to assume that it's not always the distance issue. Either way you have to strive for effective communication. I believe that in relationships there is a huge difference between an argument and disagreement. Arguments tend to be loud, emotional and have little to do with hearing the other persons perspective, but rather proving your point. Disagreements on the other hand, tend to simply be a difference of opinion and resolution doesn't mean you have to agree, you just respect the other person's decision.

Relationships take work. Talk honestly about how you're feeling and assess whether or not the relationship is a priority for you both.

Answer 5

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RE:
Is arguing good for a relationship?
My boyfriend and i tend to argue at least 3 times a week. He works out of town through the week so most of our disagreements are over the phone. When we're together on the weekend we never argue....but most of our time is spent apart and we end teh disgreement with in the same hour or so.

Answer 6

arguing is definitely good for the relationship, as long as it is not abusive mentally or physically. Arguing lets the other person know in the relationship a point of view in which you take on. So another words you don't always have to see eye to eye on things, and the making up is definitely worth a good old arguement.

Answer 7

I would think that as long as it resolves something, it is good, because it teaches you how to communicate with each other. However, if the arguing doesn't go anywhere, and the subject is dropped without anything changing, then it'll just cause problems in the future still. Same goes for a particular topic. Fighting about one specifc thing all the time isn't good either, cuz it gets you nowhere. There has to be understanding and compromise.

Answer 8

First of all, it depends on what you are arguing about. Second of all, I think disagreement is healthy (small amounts of it) in relationships. Arguing over really small things, however, is NOT good for relationships and arguing frequently definitely isn't good. Think about what you two are arguing about and if the arguments are over small things that are irrelevant (like who is not putting the toilet seat down LOL), I would talk about this with him.

Answer 9

You know...it depends on how much the arguing disrupts the relationship. Some couples just love to argue...they argue all the time, but never leave. Some rarely argue at all. If you feel its not a good thing, that it probably isnt.

Answer 10

Yes. Bottling up your feelings is the bad thing. All people in relationship argue from time to time and that is healthy and normal, but when you make a regular accurance that is the problem. Since you argue when your apart and not when your togeather you may have an issue with him leaving which you should deal with, but your pretty normal I would say!