How can I get my bipolar wife to start taking her medication again?

Question

My wife has recently been diagnosed as bipolar. She was on Risperdal and something else for a couple weeks but her family practioner took her off of it because of the bad side effects she was having. She then put her on an anti-depressant. My wife took this for a couple weeks but since she has quit taking the risperdal and other drugs prescribed by her psychiatrist she is slowly getting worse and worse. She has now quit taking the anti-depressant and is taking something from GNC that is supposed ot be a natural anti-depressant. She seems lifeless and emotionless. I try to talk to her and she just ignores me or gives me hardly any conversation back. When she was on the first meds she was doing really good and really understood how bad she was before she started taking her meds. How can I get her back to that way?how can I get her back on her meds? Please help out with a way to talk to her to let her know how and why I think she needs to take her meds and see a doctor regularly.

Answer 1

I am Bipolar and have been medicated for over 20 years. Please understand that she is the one who has to make the decision to take her med's. She is the one with a medical problem and will (eventually) have to take ownership of that problem.

I'm sure you feel helpless as you watch her moods and see her health.

For your own sake, please come to the awareness that her illness is not your fault, and the fact that you can't make her better is not your fault or your responsibility.

Show her all the support you are able to. If she is willing, go to her doctor appointments with her. Attending a support group might help both of you understand the world of the Bipolar person better. It sounds like she is in the very early days of a life-long process.

When she sees that you are standing beside her and not over her, you will be in a better position to encourage her to make responsible choices.

I wish both of you the best!

Answer 2

OK, so Risperdal can have some nasty side effects, but there are plenty of other meds out there. You need to see a proper psychiatrist, not your family doctor as well, since a psychiatrist will be much better placed to get the meds right.

Many bipolars quit meds because we either feel better and think we don't need them, or the side effects suck. It sounds like your wife was pulled out of depression with Risperdal (an odd choice), and is slowly sliding back. OTC supplements won't help her.

The big problem is that you can't force her to take meds (other than having her forcibly admitted to a psych ward). The suggestion about videos is almost good, but I suspect it would backfire. You need to get her to explain why she stopped, and try to work it from that angle. Maybe try and get her to give it another go for you. Don't try emotional blackmail, though.

Do get a copy of The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide (Amazon link below) - it's a fantastic resource, and come and ask for help at http://www.crazyboards.org

Answer 3

First of all, if your wife is truly bipolar, she should be on a mood stabilizer, not an anti-depressant. Think about it...if someone with depression and mania takes an anti-depressant, it can elevate the mood and throw them into a manic episode. Maybe she's not taking the medications because it doesn't make her feel the way she should. She should talk to her doctor. As far as you convincing her to take her medications, good luck. From my experience, you can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do. If she doesn't want to take her meds, you can't force her. All you can do is be supportive of her. Maybe mention to her the fact that she might not be on the right ones...that maybe she should talk to the doctor about making a switch. There has to be a reason she is not taking the medications. A lot of bipolar patients that I see, once they begin feeling better, they see a difference and agree that they need to take the medication. Not saying that some of them stop taking it sometimes, but usually they will be more likely to take it if it is working for them. Just be supportive, encourage her, discuss it with her...that's pretty much all you can do. It's worth a try. And remember discussing the mood stabilizer with her doctor...it might be worth noting.

Answer 4

Well i would let her know that first of all bipolar disorder is something that she proably has had all of her life sir. That the mediation she was taking was really helping , and if she was having side effect they could of changed the medication, if it was really bad reaction. There are other, med's they can give her. Her normal doctor is not to mess around with her med's from the other doctor that she saw. They are the ones that should be seeing her, and giving her the medication for the bi-polar disorder. Not her normal doctor. Natural anti-depressants are not always the anwser. Everyone is different , and she needs to go back and see the other doctor and get back on some meds that don't give her bad side effects. It sounds like the natural anti-depressant is giving her bad side effects if she is becoming like a zombie, and not talking to you. If she will not go in and see the doctor who gave her the med's for her bi-polar , and tell them what side effects she was having, so they can change, or fix it so the side effects aren't that bad. I am sorry but most med's do have somekind of side effects. But the doctors, and help her with that. Let her know if she does not do this she is going to get worse day by day, and she really don't want to do that. This is a serious disorder, and she will have it for rest of her life. So she really needs to go back and get some meds for it, and her normal doctor, should not be trying to just give her an anti-depresant for this disorder. If this does not get her back to that doctor, then you sir will have to get her back their , and explain to the doctor what is going on, cause right now it seems like she can't do that. She could end up in a hosiptal for this if it keeps getting worse like you are saying. Let her know how much better she was doing, when she was taking it. And that this is an disorder that she really needs to be seeing someone for that knows how to treat it. That she will feel a lot better, and life will be much more enjoyable when she gets back on some med's for this disorder. It sounds like you may need to take her back to that doctor, if she wants to go to him or not, and you may have to make sure every day that she is taking it. Cause she is just not thinking right now, since she has quit taking it. So i would just take her back, i know people with this disorder, and as long as they take there med's daily, they live a very fruitfull and happy life. So please if she is not willing to go back , you are going to have to take her back, and get her back on the med's. Please let the doctor know too what the side effects were, so they can fix that problem too, then she may not have any problem with taking it every day like she should be doing. There are no magic pills, but there are med's that can help her. But she needs to keep taking them, and go to the doctors and see them for a while to make sure she is on the right med's for the disorder, with the less amount of side effects.

Answer 5

First of all you could talk to her like she is an intelligent human being and then realize that just possibly something triggered her Bio polar condition in the first place. Nagging her will only make matters worse and she will end up hating you. Many times when husbands cheat they use the wife's depression which is very serious and call her bi-polar. Well look at it this way either you or anyone else either feels good or they don't! I am not saying that it is your fault necessarially but something that could have happened in the past that she may not even know about! If she can discover why she feels this way then she will be more willing to take care of herself. Recentally I had shingles for a while-( a year in fact) and yes i wanted to die so I would not suffer. Maybe just maybe doctors should be a little more careful in seeing that children get their chicken pox shots so diabetics and any one who has had chickenpox as a child can not get shingles. I was exposed in fact! I have gone through alot of things that some real meddlesome people would have simply have crumbled. I could not stomach to take my medicine and could take herbs for a while which i knew would work atleast until i got well enough to get back on my medication.I USED HERBS WHEN I HAD NOTHING ELSE TO TAKE. Shingles Are painful because they effect your nerves as pain and also the way you feel even when i took my medication then i cried every day! The herbs were a welcome relief until i could go back on the medicine which i am smart enough to do and did not need any meddling family to stick their nose in my business anyway! Talk to her gently don't treat her like a child but treat her like a woman who has a problem with her nerves-for whatever reason. If people could use a little bit of reason sometimes and stop slaming a sick person around like they have a right to or something then things will go much better. I just try to keep people like that out of my life-i don't need their hasseling me. Then even on all your medication you realize that you don't care to be bothered by people who yell and do not care or understand. Then you wonder what their motives are. I am on all my medications can think very clearly and realize this more then ever! If i ever have to to get any meddlers off my back i will get a lawyer and there are other support systems that i have discovered. In other words if a person will not be kind and helpful-(MAYBE YOU ARE)-then leave that person alone. I went to the doctors office and got yelled at. I was going to the drugstore right after and i did. I also got yelled at at the ER room and was so very sick when i had to go on a weekend. The first doctor was nice and i still appreciate him the second was a poor excuss for a doctor. I still have pain and do not rest well but atleast it is bearable.. I do believe in karma so i guess they can wait and see. I knew that i felt like a b**ch for a while though i tryed to be quiet and just bear it. Looking back i think i should have been a little bit**er. I did not have transportation of my own and was so sick i did not want to go any where. Juice would have been so much better then any food. Vitamin C helped. They are no longer my doctors-though it was not my doctor yelling at me he allowed it! Oh yes at one point i took Effexor XR -a different doctor-and was so allergic to it that i broke out in blisters and got very sick and had blue places pop out all over me. I was in bed about a month because of this. That is another problem with people when they have an allergy to a certain medication they are the ones who suffer. Stop trying to be her doctor-be her loving husband instead. You may not even read my answer and you may not like it but honestly i am going to tell you the way it is. OH YES i am trying to tell you gently.Good Luck. You can have many happy days and nights together but you will need to be supporative of her a kind and proper husband!

Answer 6

First of all, your wife should not be on an antidepressant. She should be on a mood stabilizer, if she is really Bipolar. Antidepresants make Bipolar people get manic if they are taken without a mood stabilizer.

Risperdal acts as a mood stabilizer.

Second, get her to a pyschiatrist! Family practioners are not trained in mental health medications, besides antidepressants. She needs to see a specialist ---> a psychiatrist

Third, tell her that you love her and that you want her to be ok. And that you have noticed these things in her behavior. Tell her you want to help her. That you know it is hard, but you will work together, so that she feels better and you feel that she is ok.

But please, get her to a psychiartrist.

Answer 7

I have to agree with those pushing for a psychiatrist. You may convince her by suggesting you get family counseling. This could make it seem less threatening. Remember, she is Bipolar, she needs to feel like you are not the enemy. Being bipolar myself, I know that the meds cause horrible side effects. Let her talk about those issues with you, really listen to her concerns. Let her know you are her friend.

Answer 8

My sister is bipolar and it is critical that she takes her medications. We had a problem for a while with my sister not taking her med. All we could do was talk to her doctor. He put her in a mental hospital while he put her back on her meds cause he said it is dangerous to take urself off of meds and you need to be monitored while you are starting them again. Talk to her doctor asap.. And I sympathize with you. It is a very hard thing you are going through. Good luck...

Answer 9

Wish I could help.. But I do know what your going through. I have an 18 yr old who has taken himself off his meds because he is old enough to do so now. He needs these meds deperately but seems to think he doesn't.. If you get an answer to your problem let me know it..its worth a try to do anything to get him back on them..

Good Luck!!

Answer 10

Usually when Bipolar, you don't realize what you have been doing. Be it exploding at someone, not talking, ANYTHING. I know I didn't; I'd explode on my family and not remember anything by the next day. But she NEEDS her medication before she does something to herself - or to your marrage. I know she ignores you, but keep trying to talk to her, tell her what she's doing and how much the medicine helps her. Take her to the doctor to speak to her, as well. But do not drug her with her own medicine -- It could backfire.