How do you express worry without sounding like a nag or critical?

Question

I worry about my boyfriend's driving sometimes, he isn't a bad driver per say. But I was in a horrible car accident where my best friend was killed and I walked away totally fine, after we were struck by a hit and run driver. So while I know some of my concern comes from that, I do also worry my boyfriend just throws too much caution to the wind.

Like he says things like "Well you could hit a moose at 120kms or 90kms" which while true, I think you have a better chance of stopping at 90kms. But he doesnt see things like that.

How do I express concern without sounding like Im being critical of his driving?

Answer 1

Say exactly what you said here. That didn't sound critical at all. It sounded like perfectly rational statement of a perfectly rational fear. He should respect that.

Answer 2

I don't think saying it to him is being a nag. Saying it repeatedly may be however. for one thing he should be respectful of your feelings and he doesn't seem to be. I would assume that he knows why you are a bit gunshy on the road, but if he doesn't, be sure to mention it. Also you may want to be a little blunt about the fact that you feel he is being a little wreckless due to his depression about his g-pa passing. I would wonder if his driving is the only indicator of that. He prolly needs to know that someone is noticing that part of his persona right now.

Answer 3

Only say it once though. Learn to trust him and his driving. I guarantee you he wouldn't be too excited if either of you got hurt, or if his car was wrecked. When a woman states something more than once to me, all i feel like doing is whatever she doesn't want me to do. We're wierd that way.

Answer 4

Tell him how you feel, that you feel afraid when he drives too fast or whatever. If he doesn't want to change his behavior, that is his choice. You can choose differently as well. You can choose to drive or to go separately.