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19months ago I met a boy over the internet (let’s call him Erik). I’m from South America and he’s from Germany and little by little,we fall in love. He cares about me and he treats me like a princess but months ago I started to feel bad because I realized that this was a very unusual relationship and I thought that I was being immature 4 being 23years old and feeling “love”-like a teenager- for someone I had never even seen in real life, so we “broke up”-against Erik’s will- and I tried to forget him by dating boys here, and I met this sweet boy (“John”) and I liked him. I felt very good with John, he is a gentleman and everything was ok but after some time,I began to subconsciously compare the 2boys.I was always looking at John flaws;I think I was unfair because since maybe I had idealized Erik.Then 1day Erik called me and told me that he didn’t want to lose me;he wanted to marry me so he’d come to my country in February to meet me...

2006-12-13 04:23:05 · 10 answers · asked by Mila S 4 in Health Mental Health

Now the thing is;I broke up with J. because I felt that I still loved Erik but now I think: am I being too naïve? Or am I being too pessimistic?I told Erik (and that’s what I honestly think) that I can’t marry anyone like that, I have to know him first. I feel so many things…I feel that I hurt John very much, and I wonder, since J is a great person,didn’t I ruin the possibility of a good and real relationship for something childish? I mean,I had strong feelings for E.but I haven’t met him, and even if I do it, it is not sure that we will feel the same after that. Don’t u think I’m risking 2much?Do u think I am being too pessimistic?Any advices?Ah,yes, and I’m sorry for making this sooo long,but there are10 points 4u!

2006-12-13 04:24:37 · update #1

Thank you very much for your comments so far...I apreciate it, God bless you.

2006-12-13 07:25:14 · update #2

10 answers

There are many people now days who fall in love over the internet. Sometimes it doesn't work out but sometimes it does. There are people who have met on the net and gotten married. You want to be rational and I understand that. However you can't predict love. Sure John might be a great guy but if you don't feel for him the same way that you feel for Erik you can't force yourself to feel it. You may have given him a disadvantage by comparing the two but your also giving yourself a disadvantage by lying to your heart.
Nobody can predict where a relationship will go. Erik may come out and it might not be right. Then again it could be right. Unless you give him and yourself that chance you will never know.
I entered a relationship that I wasn't sure about. I felt he was more of a friend type then boyfriend. But I gave him a chance. So quickly I became in love with him and I was glad I had given him the chance. However as in love as I was with him things didn't work out and it ended. As much as that hurt I don't regret being with him. I know now what it feels like to be in love. I seen my future with him and it wasn't so. But it's not the end of the world. I moved on and I look to find that love again in hopes to find someone else I can share my life with.
So don't lie to your heart. The only thing you should ever regret is not giving the person you love an honest chance.

2006-12-13 04:50:58 · answer #1 · answered by Gypsy Cat 4 · 2 0

Its very well possible. My boyfriend and i met over the net. it devoloped, and we talked on the phone. We spent many hours talking about our likes and dislikes. Finally, we met and it was the best day of my life. I sat down with my Angel (as I call him) and we talked some more and when we kissed, I knew he was the one for me. Don't rush marriage, take your time there, but meeting him face to face will help you see if what you feel is real or not. I'm happy to say, I've been with my guy for over a year, and everyday I wake up and I thank God for putting him in my life. We still live far apart, but the distance is nothing, we've met and fallen in love, there's nothing we can't do without love. I wish you and your man lots of luck and love.

2006-12-13 05:53:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

It's chance, like anything else when it comes to relationships but I do have to say one thing. I don't know how it is in South but I have received hundreds of emails from men in Africa about being in love with me at first sight and all that crap. They just want someone to sponsor them to come here, marry them, get citizenship and then divorce. There is an underground network of these people and this kind of thing is arranged ahead of time but I think it is quite expensive so many of them have to go the romance route and lie their way over here. Is that the case where you are?
As someone who has been deeply disappointed by whole Internet dating thing, I would stick with a real time boyfriend.

2006-12-13 04:29:55 · answer #3 · answered by A B 3 · 2 0

There is no substitute for getting to know someone in person. There are so many variables to a persons personality that can never be tapped into via the internet. Me personally I could never get emotionally attached to someone on the computer. We've all seen the senario of someone falling in love with a perfect 10 supermodel on the computer only to find out it was actually a 46 year old unemployed, fat, lazy, pervert named Melvin. I feel you rarely ever REALLY know someone even if you live with them, let alone communicating with them over the computer.

2006-12-13 04:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by baloneycurtains 2 · 2 0

Yes, from whilst I used to be twelve years historical I had a pleasant pal I have by no means met. She is a pen pal named Christine Wise. She lived in Haswell, Durham, England. We advised every different secrets and techniques and a wide variety of stuff. We had a near bond for many years that helped me by way of the ones beautiful awkward youngster years. :)

2016-09-03 17:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by shiva 4 · 0 0

Yes, I believe you can be in love with someone you have never met...well physically met. I have had the same problem..and if you feel in your heart that you DO love him..then follow your hearts wishes.

Love is a matter that only you can decide. All I can do is give advice.

If you feel, deep inside your soul that you love him, go for it!

2006-12-13 04:29:37 · answer #6 · answered by B.B. 2 · 1 0

Milla,

Congratulation, I too have met a man on line and I am hoping that our friendship will blossom into love. So I would like to extend a blessing to you with much love. Follow your heart.

2006-12-13 07:14:58 · answer #7 · answered by Lil bit 3 · 2 0

This happened to a friend of mine. She had a "romance" on line with a guy in Spain. He talked her into coming to live with him in Spain and more or less indicated they could marry when she got a divorce.

She left her husband and family to be with her "lover" in Spain (she is American). She landed in Spain and he was at the airport. He took one look at her and told her she was not to his taste - this is after a year of romancing her on line and seeing her photos, etc.

He walked away and stranded her at the airport in Spain without the money for hotels, food, etc. She was a mess. Total strangers had to help her and her family had to send her the money to come home but her husband divorced her anyway.

Meet the guy face to face. You do not know him. He does not know you.

2006-12-13 04:29:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6 0

SURE!! For exemple: I Love you.. : D..
I was kidding.. I loved a women for 3 years and never saw her.. 1 after our meet we finish down our love.. destiny!! But I can love again!! Kisses.. I hope you find what u looking for!

2006-12-13 04:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

yes you can
i know i do
and he is in love with me too

2006-12-13 04:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by Samantha 1 · 0 0

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