well ive dated this guy for 4 years on and off.but the last few times he cheated on me. but i still am wanting him back.but i want to hate him him for it and i want to get over him but i just cant because my feeling for him r to strong.i dont know what to do.should i go back to him??i just dont know what to do because he hurt me but im still really attached...help?
2006-12-13 04:03:44 · 15 answers · asked by roxygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
girl i feel you so much on this question? you are so much in my mind right now. sometimes i hate him but my heart says other wise. i wanna show him that i dont want him anymore by saying things that i think'll hurt his feelings but deep inside i know i dont mean them. you dont necessarily hate him. you just really hate what he did. its perfectly normal to want him back especially if yall love was extremely strong. thats something that'll never change. and what will be the point of moving on if you still gon have feelings for him? that may cause you to move on and end up cheating on your new man with your ex that you never got over. maybe you should try sitting down and working things out with him. find out what didn't you do right to make him have to cheat on you. if you love him you might as well stop trying to get over him because you're only giving yourself a headache.
2006-12-13 04:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by diedra06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know EXACTLY how you feel. My ex of 3 yrs ( on & off) was the same. I know this sounds bad but he did it with his wife about every 5 -7 months when she came back from England to visit. They have been separated for 3 yrs but she has to come back to help him stay here in the US. Anywho, he says they didn't but give me a break. Well, I know it's his wife ( I would rather it be her than some unknown skank) and all BUT he's always with me any other time. I was VERY much in love with him and because I was, it made it very difficult to see through all the other sh** he did. Trust & learn from me, DON'T take him back. I did and I now know what a hugh fool I had been. I KNOW it's hard but just try to seperate yourself from him and find someone (in your own time) who isn't going to dis you like that. Try to read the book "It's called a break up because it's broken" (same guy who wrote "he's just not that into you" EXCELLENT book for this and other relationship problems. Email me if you want to talk more. TRUST me I know how you feel!
2006-12-13 12:17:55 · answer #2 · answered by 3000gthottie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person has a mental obsession and keeps doing something that she doesn't want to do because it hurts her, she likely has an addiction.
The link below has an article on love addiction. The inclusion of the link is NOT an endorsement.
I recommend the book Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody. You can find it really cheap online. It is really good and helped me tremendously.
2006-12-13 12:30:41 · answer #3 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it always hurts to get over someone you really loved. Especially if you were along time with him. But if he cheated on you once, hes going to do it again and again. He had to cheat on you for a reason. Maybe he doesn't like you no more. You know how guys are they lie to get out of something, and that guy your with has. I think you SHOULDN'T get back with him. When you suffer for a guy hes not worth it. Good luck.
2006-12-13 12:09:43 · answer #4 · answered by jade_lz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are attatched! You have spent four years with this guy. But in the same sense, of course it is going to hurt. If you have been on and off for that long, then he only wants you when it's convenient for him. I would get over him. I would move on. I would date other people. If you have tried and tried again and it still hasn't worked, then it's not going to. Let him go.
2006-12-13 12:07:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hurt you, I think you know what the right decision is....Maybe you are just kind of afraid of not having a boyfriend. 4 years is a long time and maybe you don't know what you'll do if you don't have someone.
Trust me, spending time by yourself without any guy will benefit you greatly. Another guy-a better guy-will come along at the right time.
2006-12-13 12:08:29 · answer #6 · answered by Kris W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time one way to predict future behavior is from past behavior. If you stay with him, you'll most likely continue to get hurt. He does this to you because you always take him back. You are enabling his poor behavior. He knows he can get away with it. Move on to someone that will treat you the way you should be treated. You'll be much happier in the long run.
2006-12-13 12:11:05 · answer #7 · answered by capnemo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you want to know if you should go back to him even though every time you do he cheats on you and hurts you. How will going back to him help you get over him? I think that you enjoy being hurt and are way to submissive to him. He is abusing you mentally and surely he must be undermining your self esteem. Quit punishing yourself and tell him to take a hike!
2006-12-13 12:09:58 · answer #8 · answered by misterbig356 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can say is ya know give him a chance, he may change and if he dont he may hurt you so bad he will definately be forgotten. thats the only problem. you will eventually get tired of it. but you are worth much better than that. you can find someone who is worthy of you and that you love ten times more. so try to forget him if you can like i told someone else everytime you think of him think of something else like your favorite food or favorited time of year think of smells sounds feelings that dont involve him. go out on the town and meet new people it hurts to leave someone.but it can be definately worth it. i know i gave you 2 answers but which one sounded best to you.?
2006-12-13 12:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by chandal r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he cheats on you, hes not happy, nor are you. You've been through a lot and if he really wants to be with you, you need to leave and give him time to figure out what he wants. If he does not want to change, you are better off....it will take time to get over him, but you will. TRUST me, hes not good enough for you!
2006-12-13 12:07:29 · answer #10 · answered by snapple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋