My brother died last year on December 15, in a totally uncalled for accident. He was 17, a senior, and destined for all the best things and before I knew it....he was gone. But now that the anniversary is coming on, my parents are always at me. I'm the only other child they have, and while i do my best to support their whimsical little trips and notions of 'family time', it's getting way to hard for me. I need to be alone sometimes, with my thoughts otherwise I just kind of lose it, and thats the last thing I should do in this situation. How do I handle it?
2006-12-13 03:40:27 · 10 answers · asked by kadaj_1312 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should tell them how you feel . I am truly sorry for your loss and may god be with your family
2006-12-13 03:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by SAHM and proud of it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for the passing of your brother. The holidays are a really hard time to deal with the death of a relative. My dad died unexpectedly a couple years back and the holidays even to this day can be hard. It's only been a year since your brother died and I can imagine your parents are still trying to deal with the grief. The things that they are doing are not meant to drive you crazy, they just want to make sure that they spend quality time with you because they've lost your brother. Just continue to do the things they ask, this might be way of healing for the family. Also, you said this happens generally around the anniversary - just try to stick it through and once you do the things they've asked, you'll have time to be by yourself and think.
2006-12-13 11:53:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you have a standing plan to do something as a family once a month or every other week or something they'll back off on you the rest of the time. You don't mention how old you are or if you still live with them, but just explain that you need some "Me" time, and if they know for sure they'll get their time with you on a regualr basis, they should back off. Just make sure you stick with your planned family time every single time, or they will feel like they can't count on that and will be all up all over you again.
2006-12-13 11:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by tabithap 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your parents and tell them how you feel. I also think it's not too much to ask of you to have family time with them on occasion. Maybe you could work out something that works for all of you. Be patient with your parents. Losing a child is a parents worst nightmare and they are holding on tight to you for fear of losing you too. It sounds like you all just need to talk openly about your feelings with each other...it could be very healing and bring you even closer. I'm sorry for your loss, just try to be patient with each other and never leave without saying I love you.
2006-12-13 11:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be forward with them, tell them what is on their mind. But also trying putting yourself in their footsteps as to why they would want to hold onto you so much. Yes only child but think about how it might be for them. They dont want to lose you to
2006-12-13 12:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by The_Morbid_One 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them exactly what you have told us. Explain to them that you need to have some time to yourself. And so do they. Let them know you love them, and you still like doing stuff with them, but you need space.
2006-12-13 12:15:44 · answer #6 · answered by The Pope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please tell them how you feel. They will understand and advise you. They only want what is best for you. Always. I am sorry for your families loss.
2006-12-13 11:44:00 · answer #7 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents sound like fuckwits - tell them to go **** themselves and stop bullshitting you. You don't have time for their **** so tell them to leave you alone.
2006-12-13 11:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by applemanteddy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should be an adult and sit down and talk to them.. if they love you and respect you then they will respect your wishes and understand..
2006-12-13 13:11:27 · answer #9 · answered by Emi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sorry for your lose
2006-12-13 12:19:19 · answer #10 · answered by wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋