I gave my husband an Ipod for his birthday and he lets his 8 year old son use it. His son has lost two expensive games of his own, has an Ipod of his own but not the latest. IT bothers me that he is allowed to grab it out of his dad's hands and play with it. For some reason it bothers me, even though in my mind I know a gift is a gift, with no strings attached. What mind exersice can I do to get over this?
2006-12-13 03:25:55 · 4 answers · asked by Valerie 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I appreciate the first answers already.
2006-12-13 03:35:59 · update #1
I think these answers have helped me come to terms with this. It is my issue, best resolved by realizing how this may be immature on my part, in the long run it is just an Ipod, actually I agree with almost all the answers I have recieved in both sections I aksed this in. Maybe one I did not understand out of all the answers.
2006-12-13 03:54:41 · update #2
I'm no psychologist, but you might want to step back and figure out what's really bothering you. Your issue with the Ipod might go a little deeper than what you think. Do you resent your husband's son? Does your husband let him do what he wants and that bothers you? Does his son's mother let him get away with anything and that bothers you?
Parents often let their children play with anything that belongs to them (that's safe, of course). I actually think it's great that parents share their "toys" with their children, rather than saying, "This IPod is mine and it is off limits to you." So try to be understanding about that.
Good luck and Merry Christmas.
2006-12-13 03:32:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest telling your husband "I don't feel comfortable about your son using your Ipod..." and explain about him having his own and worried that the husband's gift will be lost like the games. Aim to show you are genuinely worried, not just trying to be "boss" because your husband, accidently or not, may let it slip on you're the reason the boy has to stick to his own.
Also, what kind of custody situation is there? Is your husband the weekend dad or does the boy live with you? If your husband feels like he isn't in the boy's life enough, the Ipod issue may an expression of it. He wants to have a relationship, but is uncomfortable setting boundaries in case the son rejects him. In which case, I suggest extra sensitivity and suggest them try other, more bonding activities. Though still stand firm that something does need to change.
2006-12-13 03:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by Night Eagle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah--it sounds to me like the issue is not the iPod, but that the real issue sounds like it may be the fact that your husband just allows the child to come grab it out of his hands. (And I'm sure your concern is exacerbated by the fact what the child is grabbing at is expensive). I suspect you two have different parenting styles.
What you need to consider doing is talking to your husband about he lets his son treat him that way--a person, child or adult, should always ask to see something instead of grabbing it out of another person's hand. He may have some guilt issues with the son that need to be addressed by a counselor or maybe parenting classes are in order.
And--for future reference, if your husband is going to allow the child to act like that, then you will need to reconsider your generosity of giving expensive gifts.
2006-12-13 03:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by kathylouisehall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband your son you do have some say so in your family i hope?i would take the i-pod away from your son and tell me he not allow to touch it it doesn't belong to him then he going to get a attitude to ward you let him sound like he doesn't have much respect for either of you
2006-12-13 03:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by little_bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋