Trouble with in-laws or trouble with me???

Question

I asked this yeserday but feel like I didn't give enough details. So, here it goes again? My son turned two last Thursday. My in-laws who live 7 miles away didn't called nor came to see us. The party was set for Sunday. Friday they call to say that my mother in-laws brothers wifes mother died & the visitation will be Sunday night. It is a 4 hour trip so they will not make it to the party. But, they are coming home that night & not going to the funeral on Monday. Saturday my husband lets them know that we are hurt about the party. But they still go. We fell like they could have stayed home for the party & then went to the funeral. My husband is the only kid they have that is not on drugs & raising his kids. We never ask them for anything. We are the ones they depend on when they need something. And yes there will be other parties, but my feeling are still hurt! I told my "dad" how we feel but my "mom" has yet to talk to us or see our kids! So are we being silly? What do we do now?

Answer 1

They sound insensitive and un-caring. Just forget about em.

Answer 2

Well... Your two year old is not going to remember his birthday party. So I feel you and your husband are being a tad bit selfish. This is coming from someone who has never had a birthday party and only has small immediate family parties for my children. I feel that parties for children when they are so young are for the parents. If you really think about it... your child would probably be happier on his birthday if you focused your time and attention on him instead of your guests that you are throwing a party for. My exhusbands family never showed an interest in birthdays or holidays and they lived 3 miles away. My parents also don't attend birthday parties. Heck... my mom didn't go to my wedding, baby shower, or other events and she lives next door to me. We get along great. It's just not her "thing" and I respect that. You will be miserable trying to get others to do things your way instead of letting them be. If I had a funeral to attend (no matter how far away) I would be very upset if my child let me know how "hurt" they were. I would have been dissappointed about the selfishness and disregard for my feelings. I realize you are feeling hurt but it is not the end of the world and is something you should just ... let go of. Again... your son is not going to remember anyway. This party is for you and your husband not your son. I think your husband's parents realize that. When you get older you may feel the same way. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 3

I think you guys are overeacting about this. COme one- there;s beena death in the family it's not time to have a party. Maybe you guys should postpone the party for another 2-3 weeks to mourn the death of the loved one. Don't get your feeling hurt because they're not coming- it's not about you right now it's about what's going on in the family. You guys should understand that this is a serious issue and no one wants to party jsut yet. Just because your husband is the good guy int he family and you guys have helped the family alot has nothing to do with their decision on not coming. I'm sure they are greatful for the help you ahve given to them but- you don't need to say it it's like you're expecting them to say it or do something in return for the help you've given. Something similar happend to me when i turned 15. I'm latin and we have a tradition similar to the sweet 16 it's called the sweet 15 (quinceanera) and my birthday is on a feb. My Mother's dad had passed away about 2 months before my party was set to come about and we got the RSVP cards back form vamily stating that because of the death of my grandfather no one would attend. That it wasn't right to "have a party" while someone jsut died. So- my mom had to postpone the party for April which kinda sucked for me because i was really excited about it but- in the end everyone showed up.. Maybe this is what you need to do- just post opne the big party for your child and jsut cut a simple cacke in the actual birthdate and let your relatives know that you understand that they won;t come. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but- seems like you & your husband area being selfish about this. You can't hold this against the inlaws for not showing up because some oen just died for crying out loud! Anyway- i hope you make the right decision and happy birthday to the little one!

Answer 4

It's understandable to feel hurt. My mother in law missed her first grandchild's first christmas because by 8 pm she was passed out drunk. Your child is special and his grandparents should think so too. A death in the family though can muddle everyone's thinking, were they close to the deseaced? I'd say wait a bit, see if they apologize for this. Unless they've done things like this before. If they have, then you need to face facts that it's likely to continue and try not to take it personally. You can't make them be part of their grandkid's lives if they don't want to put forth the effort.

Answer 5

I understand that its your child's birthday party but they have had a family member die. In some families this would be a significant drama while some families wouldnt care less. You have to try not to be so sensitive about things like this even though its nice for a young child to have his or her grandparents present at these events, its times like that that a child usually remembers later on in life. if their family is plagued by drug probs then they have their hands full as it is. In saying all this, some inlaws are real bastards and if they come to you for help when you have ur own family then they dont sound nice.

Answer 6

I understand why you feel hurt, especially since the MIL hasn't even called yet. Maybe you should call her and get the whole story from her point of view. In the meantime try to explain to your child that they will see the Grandparents soon. Good Luck, I hope you can get this handled before the holidays.

Answer 7

In John 5, i don't believe there is an association to the stirring of the waters contained in the healing pool and Judean regulation. i do not see an linked with "end sinning" to regulation both. sure, both the healed guy and Jesus were contained in the temple at the same time as Jesus reported this to him. that's as close because it receives. He in reality warned the healed guy that if he persevered down the path he replaced into on, worse issues ought to take position to him. I beleive John 14:a million ability actually "do not hardship about it" or "dont hardship about what's to go back". Jesus replaced into comforting his disciples. in case you seem at 13, his disciples were enormously wound up with attempting to comprehend the meanings of the issues Jesus replaced into telling them. there are distinct references to the regulation and what Jesus reported about the regulation contained in the Gospels. even with the undeniable fact that, i got here upon an excellent summation of the position Christians stand touching on to the regulation is in Galations 3:23-25

Answer 8

All that really matters is that you and your husband gave your son a birthday party and were there for him. When he grows up, he will fondly remember that. The grandparents actions speak for themselves.