My dog is having trouble adjusting..?

Question

I have a 3 yr old male cocker spaniel (not been fixed). I've lived alone since I had him. Normally, he doesn't pay much attention to me until others come over. Than he has to jump in my lap/beg for attention. My b/f just moved in a few weeks ago, so my dog is constantly trying to get attention. He gets plenty between the 2 of us, but he always wants to be in my lap now. When i push him off, he tries to sneak up and stand on the back of the couch behind my head. He's been trained since a puppy to sleep on the floor, now he tries to sneak on the foot of the bed at night. Please help. He is driving me crazy!

Answer 1

Your cocker's problem his is place in the pack is being threatened by this new member (your bf). Your cocker is trying to keep his place in the top of the pack order by aligning himself with you, the head of his pack. You have been the alpha female and he has (in his mind) been the alpha male or at least below only you. Now you need to let him know that your bf is the new alpha male. Your cocker needs to respect your bf equally to you and accept his place as a lower member of the pack. This is normal and once he accepts it will be fine- dogs are not democratic like people, they are happy when there is a clear cut hierarchy. You will need to do two things here: one is not allow him to challenge your bf or your attention to your bf. The second is to have your bf show your cocker that he is an alpha and should be respected as such.
I'm sure you are giving your cocker plenty of attention, and that's good. However when he pushes himself on to your lap or between you and your bf, you need to immediately, in a firm voice while making strong eye contact tell him No. (If you are sweet about it you will only be sending him conflicting messages that eventually he will succeed. Alpha's are very clear cut on what is or is not allowed and this is what he, as a dog, understands.) If he gets down than calmly tell him he's a good dog... but don't make a big fuss about it. If he doesn't, physically put him on the floor and tell him "no" in a firm voice with strong eye contact. If he resists you, roll him on to his back and hold him there. This is the natural way an alpha will let a challenger know their place. Afterwards he will probably come over to you (good) pet him and tell him he's a good dog but don't make a big fuss. You will have to be consistent about this, it make take a week, it may take two.
The second part is very important too. He needs to not just like your bf, but must also respect him as the alpha. Let your bf feed him, let him out, ect... Let your cocker see you giving his food, toys, etc to your bf to give to him. Make sure you bf is also giving him commands and your cocker is obeying- sit, come, ect... This will raise your bf's status and make your cocker more comfortable accepting his new place and less likely to try to move back to his alpha position. Sleeping with you guys (especially if it's between you) on the bed is his bid to keep his position. No matter what- you have to make a show of backing up your bf and enforcing his place as alpha male in your pack.
This adjustment is a very normal problem people have with dogs especially if you've gone from living with just the two of you. Don't worry that it's from lack of attention or sympathy... honestly, it is usually the opposite reason and you sound like you have a good heart. Once the pack order is reestablished with your new member, the happier you all (most of all your cocker) will be. Good Luck :)

Answer 2

i agree with being consistent with the no. The dog just feels a little insecure about you and just get him to see that you love him a lot still even though your BF moved in. Like take him on walks and give some time for individual attention such as playing rope or ball with him but at the same time teach him to keep space when you sleep or when he tries to get in your lap when you don't want him to or he's not supposed to then just tell him a strong no. it's not mean, it's part of fixing the situation. hope this helps. the dog will start to see that you still love him and not be insecure about the BF lol

Answer 3

Adding a new member to the household whether human or animal is an adjustment to the dog..he doesn't care if he's getting the same amount of attention from you and your boyfriend, he's more concerned he's not getting all theat same amount of time from you. Have patience with him, it's all new to him. Botjh of you need to be consistent if you don't want him on your bed to keep him off, if he's wanting in your lap I'd say let him unless you're doing something that doesn't allow for it..he's just wanting reassurance that you're still "his human". Realize if you keep pushing him off your lap your giving him the idea that he's no longer allowed on your lap.

Answer 4

If you truly want this behavior to stop, you need to recognise what is reinforcing to your dog. Any attention at all, whether it's a "No!" or a push off your lap, is better than nothing at all. Get him a crate if you have not got one, and when he tries to jump up on your lap, he wins an all-expenses-paid trip to his crate. There is no need to be emotional at all when you pop him in there - after a few reps of this, your dog will start to get the message : "The fun's suddenly over when I jump on her!" Same for nighttime - crate him, and cover the crate if he cries. Be sure to never let him out of his crate if he's whining! Wait for quiet, and then let him out to play and interact from you.
I highly recommend doing a "NILIF" (nothing in life is free) program with your dog, so that the value he gets from hanging out with you grows. Do a Google search for this - and good luck!

Answer 5

He is just jealous, and may feel like he is being replaced, my dog did the samething and we ended up getting a puppy and now they are best buds and the best thing is the only time they pay attention to us is if we have food bowls or keys in our hand. Maybe you should think about getting him a friends so he doesn't feel so alone.

Answer 6

canines are very contextual creatures. changing the putting can substitute plenty. to grant an occasion, in case you prepare your canines to accomplish a trick in a definite room yet request it in yet another room, the canines will detect it as a distinctive command (yet a clever you will often deduce the relationship incredibly incredibly). this skill that for the duration of shifting your canines is going to be slightly disoriented. in the experience that your canines has been nicely knowledgeable and uncovered to a super type of distinctive environments, it is going to likely be unnoticeable. although, in case you acquire the canines as a domestic dog, under no circumstances took it places, and not in any respect presented it to new circumstances, then a flow would be very disorienting. So all in all, it relies upon on how nicely the canines's been knowledgeable.

Answer 7

consistency is key. If your dog is doing undesirable behaviours always correct it with a firm NO, but make sure it is done in the act. Then redirect the behaviour to what it is that is OK like maybe sitting at your feet, and do it with lots of positive reinforcement. Make sure though you are consistent with the no, and not wishy washy with it.

Answer 8

be consistant with the nos. Have your boyfriend to start doing things with the dog like feeding and grooming. After a while the dog will start to view him as a care taker and not a rival

Answer 9

I think it just takes time. When my b/f and I started dating, his dog was very protective of him. But, I would take him on walks and spend time with him just the two of us and things got better gradually. Hang in there and just stick to your guns on rules for him!

Answer 10

He feels like you are replacing him. be pacient with him and give him attention. let him know that he is still important. and you still love him. it will take time but he shoud get beter