what to do about insulting comments?

Question

my bro-in-law keeps telling me how i have
a shitty life and i should get a better job.
i currently work as a programmer with 30K no benefits. i am 23.
the point is i don't like him insulting me and i will grow into
getting better jobs with time. what do i do next time this happens?

Answer 1

well i think that if you are happy with what you do then why should it matter what he thinks? at least you arent like some men who dont even have a job!!! i think that you will find a better job when you get ready for it!!! the next time that this happens i think that you should tell him that your tierd of his **** and as long as you are happy tell him to stay out of your business!!! that's all that i can right now but if you need help later on the email me at: [e-mail]

Answer 2

Not bad for someone your age, but you need benefits especially medical insurance. Still, I'd say that's no reason to be disrespectful to you. It's not like you're some lazy, jobless bum feeding off of him right? Perhaps he's jealous of you.I think despite what you don't have, you obviously DO have something he doesn't. From experience, I've learned that relatives/friends do this to make us feel inferior to them because they have an insecurity in our presence. Let him know you don't appreciate his comments and that if your life was truly shitty, it wouldn't bother him so much. Then look him in the eye and laugh as you walk away. Never let it bother you again, be sure of yourself and talk about good things that's happening to you and everybody will see he's miserable and jealous of you.

Answer 3

Make fun of his life, or smile and walk off. (Is it time for a change--that doesn't seem like much $ for programming, maybe you do need to find a better company.) Even if you do need a new job though, it sounds like his attitude is more the problem than the message. I'd say find a chance to poke back at him, or find a way to blow him off and hang with someone else at the family holiday gathering.

Answer 4

Tell him to, mind his own business! Tell him, it is your life and you are working on better things for yourself and to please stop with the insulting remarks....period the end! If you want to make a bigger statement, because this has always worked for me, use reverse psychology on him, tell him, "You know, you are right. I should better myself". "Can you help me revamp my resume'"? "Can you show me the best websites to look for a job"? Get him so involved that he ends up doing some of your leg work for you. He needs the EGO boost, because apparently he knows it all, so...use him. He won't be able to insult you anymore because now he has his hands in it. Then when you get a better job and you become more successful, throw that in his face!
Good Luck!

Answer 5

Sounds like you need to avoid him, he will always try to bring you down, probably because he is insecure and knows you are going place's and he resents it. Tell him the last time you checked you were having a wonderful life before he entered it. Don't respond to his rude comments, look him in the eye and walk away. Good luck and have a Wonderful Christmas.

Answer 6

I think your brother-in-law is either jealous because he's not doing as well as you, or dissatisfied with his own life and wants to feel better about himself, so he puts you down.

You have to learn with non-blood family that in order to keep the peace (for your sister's or wife's sake), let it go in one ear and out the other. YOU'RE not married to him, so what difference does it make what he thinks. He sounds like a real jerk. It's your life, you're an adult, you do what makes YOU happy. Or, just tell him "bite me."

Answer 7

[An insult is a statement or action which affronts or demeans someone.

An insult may be intentional or accidental. An example of the latter is a well-intended simple explanation, which in fact is superfluous, but is given due to underestimating intelligence or knowledge of the other.

Whether speech or behavior is insulting, in practice and sometimes by the terms of local assault statutes, is often a product of the subjective sense of the person insulted. But insults to one person who might not mind the derogatory speech may indirectly insult others. Many states and local municipalities enforce prohibitions against rude, offensive or insulting speech, leaving citizens, law enforcement officers and courts to decide what is and what is not an insult. The concept of fighting words as a form of prohibited speech has developed in the jurisprudence of U.S. constitutional law concerning terms of disparagement. But insults offered as satire in an artistic venue are usually regarded as protected speech.

Verbal insults
Profanity is frequently used as part of insults to strengthen their emotional impact. Some body parts, although useful, may be of low esteem; the word may then be used as insult. For example, the word asshole (or ********) is used to imply disapproval for the behavior or morals of another, but tends to imply the behavior resulted from a character flaw.

The examination of insulting language reveals the tensions between social classes and ethnic groups in modern society, where expectations are sometimes viewed as insulting by some and failure to comply with those expectations being seen as insulting by others.

Answer 8

Just ignore him , don't bring yourself to his level by having a snappy come back , maybe he's jealous because your doing well and your younger than he was in establishing himself , Jobs are are to find and you will reap the rewards of having benefits and more money by gaining more experience where you are then putting out resumes to other company's

Answer 9

Ask him how his life was at 23. His life can't be all that great if he is insulting yours. It's been my experience that most people put others down because they are jealous.

Answer 10

dont listen to him hes jus bein a jerk.dont let him put you down jus tell him next time that he needs to stop cuz you are gonna do something with your life you jus cant jump into a good paying job in a snap of a finger so ignore him after you tell him that and then after that jus dont let it bother you