hey will you please look at my list....?

Question

I am trying to make a good list for rules on meeting a girl for relationship purposes. Yes, as dumb as this sounds, a person like me needs the rules. Dating women is complex and frustating. Please look at my list and give me your wisdom on anything i need to add, delete, or change. Thankyou

1. Do not talk about sex or anything that remotely relates to sex
2. Do not flirt with her friends
3. Always meet her in person
4. Do not talk about sensitive issues (religion, politics, etc.)
5. Never talk about your feelings about her
6. Do not try to be her friend before you go out on a date (can someone please explain to me how do go about doing this?)
7. Do not ask for her phone number, facebook, aol, msn
8. These rules have exceptions, so use your best judgement

Answer 1

1. Let her know you find her extremely attractive.
2. Do not flirt with her friends (unless you want to date her friends instead)
3. Always meet her in person ( Yeah, it is really GOOD to know who you are dating)
4. Do talk about sensitive issues (religion, politics, etc.)
5.Talk about your feelings about her
6. Do be her friend before you go out on a date (You got to truly like someone before you can truly love them)
7. Do ask for her phone number, facebook, aol, msn
8. These rules have exceptions, so use your best judgment.
9. BE YOURSELF

Answer 2

My question to you is, how serious are you with the girl you will date. If the answer is yes i am serious with her and have known her for some time then "Be your self" you would not like the girl to love the impostor.

How ever if it is a blind date:

1. Do not talk about sex or anything that remotely relates to sex
Depends on how your conversation goes with her. You will get the hint. Generally dont give the impression that you want to get her to bed.
2. Do not flirt with her friends
Of course not. Never!!
3. Always meet her in person
You can start to get to know her over the phone and if you think you click you can ask her out. Beware, sometimes the fact that you click during your phone conversations may not be the same when you meet in person.
4. Do not talk about sensitive issues (religion, politics, etc.)
Better to avoid. I suggest that you ask her more question and put in an effort to get to know her. Stop bragging about your self.
5. Never talk about your feelings about her
Depends on the kind of girl you are out with. If you think the time is right you can .. but don't sound desperate.
6. Do not try to be her friend before you go out on a date (can someone please explain to me how do go about doing this?)
I think its good you know her before hand will make your life easy as you already know a lot more about her.
7. Do not ask for her phone number, facebook, aol, msn
If you have a feeling you screwed up the date then dont else go ahead.
8. These rules have exceptions, so use your best judgement

You are right ... there is never any hard and fast rules. What works with Girl A may not work with Girl B. So USE your Judgment.

Answer 3

While you shouldn't be to overt in the areas you listed, following those rules won't work, because you have to figure out when to cross each of those lines. So lets make some revisions here:

1) Don't blatantly talk about sex, but imply that women find you sexy.

2) Do befriend her friends and make them feel special, but never let it appear that you could be with anyone in the group. Being icy with her friends is bad--they'll cruicfy you by committee in their conversations the next day.
3) True
4) These can be dangerous--wait until she is comfortable with you before broaching these.
5) Don't let it seem like you are really into her when she doesn't know why--wait until you've had some good times together first. Even though your love and attraction might have appeared out of thin air, it is hard for her to believe that and she'll think you are playing games with her.
6) Not being friends--flirt with her at every interaction, so she can't get comfortable with you as 'just a friend'. Other than that, you can be her friend, but make sure you don't do anything (gifts or favors) for her that you wouldn't do for a male friend or an ugly girl.
7) Tie the phone number to an already planned second meeting (even a tentative one). You talk about something fun you are doing this weekend (with or without her), and if she sounds interested, invite her along. When you get her number, get a piece of paper out, write yours down, tear the paper in half and give her the other half and your pen (while hanging onto your number). Keep talking so she doesn't think about not writing--she has a pen in her hand! Keep talking after you get her number--don't go, OK mission accomplished and leave! Use that time to leave a good impression, and to find something to talk about on the phone.

Answer 4

Every woman is different but looking at your list the things I would take off are numbers: 1, 6, and 7.

1) The reason is everything relates to sex. I'm not saying talk about Shagging her on the first date, but if she brings it up don't back down.

6) You don't have to agree with everything she say, but you don't want to come off as Hostile toward her.

7) Nothing wrong with asking for her phone number, how are you going to set up a second date if you don't have it?

Now the only thing I will add to your list is this: While she is with you, Act like she is the only woman in the world. Don't look at other women in the place and don't talk about any other women, unless she ask about somebody. Like do you have any sisters or how is your mother? Then you answer with short truthful answers (I have two sisters my mother is okay), then change the subject back to her.

If you like what she has on, complement it, but not to much detail (straight men don't know or care about designer labels), if her hair is nice speak on that too. You don't care how long it took or how much it cost.

Always make sure she has a way to get back home. If you brought her in your car, then you take her home (or at least pay for a taxi cab). Even if the date is going badly, and you don't think there will be a second date MAKE SURE SHE HAS A WAY TO GET HOME SAFELY.

P.S; Even if she think you are wrong for her. If you treat her nicely she may hook you up with one of those girl friends you didn't flirt with. By the way treating a girl nice don't mean let her walk all over you, there should be a limit to how much you will do for her on a first date.

Answer 5

You really need to read the DJ Bible! See below.

I think I otta comment on the rules as well.

1. The first mistake you'll make. You have to let her know you're a sexual creature. There's nothing wrong with a little witty sexual banter. If you want a relationship without sex, why not just get a friend?

5. Why? Don't tell her, show her. Let her know she's first and foremost on your mind through your actions.

6. Some of the best relationships I've had were the best friendships I've had. You can be friends, but always make sure you cross that sexual line. Otherwise she's going to think you're not interested in her sexually.

7. Why? How are you going to contact her to ask her out on a date?

Answer 6

I think its okay to have rules, in fact girls have a whole book devoted to the rules for dating. You can ask for her number, but ask her for a date fist, then ask if you can call her to set it up.

Here are some suggestions:
9. Always be chivalrous by opening doors, helping her with her jacket, paying for the date, and always let her go in front of you

10. Do not rush into sex or other intamate behaviors. Kissing is okay, but try not to go to far especially in the beginning. Get to know her or at least have a few dates before doing anything else otherwise she will think that is all you want from her.

Answer 7

Daniel C, I think you're being way too hard on yourself. I talk about sex with my guy friends all the time. Sex is funny. I would wait a bit before you start laughing at the last absurd porn you watched, but eventually someone who knows you will laugh, too. If not, she has no sense of humor and it's time to move on. If she can't talk about "sensitive" issues with you, she's probably closed minded and that's not a quality you want in a mate, either. I would not say that you should not be friends first, since I, for one, hope to spend my time with people who are very close to me, rather than random strangers. Finally, if you don't ask for her info, how will you meet up?!?!?! Seriously now, if you just encounter a random person, it can be hard to know if they are digging you or not. Most people fear rejection, so it'll probably be up to you to let her know that you desire a further interaction. Just in the last couple of weeks, I was asked for my facebook address, which I was more than willing to give out, and I also took the initiative to look up a classmate's e-mail on our university's online classroom website because I'm totally into his educational philosophy (not to mention his way cute...um...dockers), and now we're going for coffee. Be brave. Some people will shoot you down, but others want to get to know you. I do think it's a good idea, though, not to flirt with her friends and to try to meet in person. Phone conversations with someone you don't know can be weird, though after one or two dates you might try IM. Be careful with this, though, because it's often hard to know when someone is joking through text. I think you found a couple of good things here, but you really should be more relaxed, in my opinion. Have fun. We only get to be young once.

Answer 8

I can't offer any suggestions around how to meet women, but here's some tips for what to do on a date.

Rule 1. Don't Worry. Women are like wolves... they sense fear and it makes them wonder what you're hiding.
Rule 2. Be Happy. Everyone likes happy people right? Well... nearly. Sad, angry and lonely people want happy people to die slowly and painfully... but they're sad, angry and lonely, so who cares what they think?
Rule 3. Hire Bobby McPherin to serenade her with Rules 1 & 2.
Actually - scratch that.. sing that song to her yourself if the opportunity arises - as long as you can sing.
The Real Rule 3. Ask her about her interests, thoughts, passions, goals. It shows an interest in her. We all like to feel important, listened to, valued.
Rule 4. Share some perspectives on where you have overlaps in the above, but keep it short and sharp... "Oh - I'd love to visit Paris one day - I hear the Louvre is amazing" rather than a 20 minute monologue on all things you'd do if you visited France.
Rule 5. Listen to what she says and ask for more information about her responses to your questions.
Rule 6. Dating is a sales process where you are the product. Don't be afraid to close the sale. ("So... I'm free on Friday... where would you like to eat?" is a strong close, but a little pushy. "When is your schedule free next? I'd love to do this again!" is not so pushy, but lets you include a compliment in there as well.

HTH

Cheers


JH

Answer 9

Well, #8 cancels out 1-7...And they sound like guide lines and not rules...Do you have reasons for these guidelines? All the things that you said not to talk about, will come up and are unavoidable...Also #5 you have to talk about your feelings that is part of a relationship...

I would just go with the flow...But talk about your favorite 'position' might be out of the question, or how many girls you have dated or guys she has dated...would be out of the question...

The first date, if that is what you are refferring too, is a time to learn about each other and see if you would like to continue to go out...Each woman is different...so just go with the flow and feel what is going on when you are talking to her.

Answer 10

The only problem I see with these rules is that all women are different and what bothers one may excite another. If you are dating the wrong person you walk around on eggshells all the time and worry about rules and regulations. When the right one comes along all that is out the window.