Desperate! My daughter is 13 years old and?

Question

I just found out she doesn't eat her lunch at school. She gives her lunch away!. I'm hurt and disappointed. I don't know what to do. Should I send her to school wiht out lunch? Should I just give her a snack? She does eats breakfast at home. Please give me some advice, I don't want to yell at her.

Answer 1

If it's a matter of her not liking her lunch, then perhaps she can prepare her lunch herself or help you in preparing it. That way you know for sure she's eat it. That's would be the first step. The problem may just end there. If you are concerned about an eating disorder, then educate yourself about the signs of eating disorders and be on the lookout. If your suspicions grow then talk to her and take her in to see a doc. Get support and help as soon as possible. Also, if you can talk to her teacher without her knowledge ( don't want her to be embarrassed), then express your concern and have teacher confirm that lunch has been eaten ( i'm assuming your daughter isn't in high school yet and that a teacher is present in lunchroom).

Answer 2

Why doesn't she eat it? If she doesn't like the food, find out what she would eat and pack that (not if it's candy bars and cookies only, but find some things you can both agree on). If she wants to buy lunch there then you could agree to pay a portion of the cost or the whole cost depending on what you are comfortable with, provided you are satisfied with the menu. Does she give it away to kids who don't have lunch? If so you could pack more food- enough for her and her friend(s) if you can afford it, or talk to the principal (if she doesn't mind) about the kids who don't have lunch. Does she give it away to try to be popular? If so then you have bigger issues than that to talk about. In any case find out why and then address the underlying issue. She does need a lunch but ultimately if none of the solutions work then it is her decision whether to eat it or not.

Answer 3

My son is 6 and most of the time he doesn't eat his lunch. He NEVER eats his snacks that I pack because there is this little girl that always bugs him for his cookies. I just make him finish his lunch when he comes home. Since I can't be there to feed him, I just make sure he eats a good breakfast and if he doesn't eat lunch then he'll eat something when he comes home. I personally never ate lunch when I was in school. I usually ate when I came home. Don't yell at her because maybe she will start to lie and tell you she ate when she really didn't just so she won't get in trouble. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Maybe the fact that you posted this question in "grade schooler" instead of "adolescent" is a clue . . . definitely tell her that you want her to have some nourishment during the day, and ask what would work best for her. Maybe she wants to buy her lunch, or eat something different. Don't be upset or angry when you talk to her - the holidays are a great time to say "let's start something new after you go back to school - how would YOU like to change your lunch? Your choice as long as it's somewhat healthy . . . "

Answer 5

Check this out! When I was 13, I had to take my lunch to school. I was not the most popular, but I was cool. The last dang thing on earth I wanted to do was pull out a sack lunch! All my friends had a few bucks to get cheese fries and a pop. There i was pulling out my little embarrassing clear plastic bags of ruffles, a sandwich, a fruit and a juice box. AJUICE BOX!!! I usually threw it out or my freinds and I would eat the chips. everything else went in the trash. I would be dern, if the cute boys in the school ever saw me eating PB&J, chompin on a apple and sucking on that dang BOX!. Give her a few bucks.Trust me she may never tell you why, I didn't explain it to my parents. She won't starve to death, unless she has other issues with food. As long as she eats breakfast and dinner, don't worry.

Answer 6

I had the same problem with my daughter right up until she was going to college & even then she would either hide it in her bag or throw it in the bin on her way out, at the time she was going through some difficult times & just didnt care about anything, I used to give her the food she liked even that didnt work, so i stopped doing packed lunches and gave her a couple of quid a day to get what she wanted. Teenagers are very fussy with their food but please try not to give in2 her 2 much, even now she is still fussy and she is 19. I think the main problem is the fact there is to much publicity on what size young girls have to be,

Answer 7

I didn't eat lunch in school because it was the only chance we had to really socialize, the rest of the time was spent hurrying from class to class.

I agree with everyone who has said you need to talk to your daughter. Listen to what she has to say, without judgement, and ASK her what you can do to help. Why are you hurt? I don't understand that at all...are you taking it personally?

If she's eating breakfast and dinner, I'd just make sure that there was plenty of appealing, healthy snacks in the kitchen for her to grab when she gets home. It might be a phase, or a fad, or just she's not hungry at that time of day. I remember in sixth grade, it was only cool to have yogurt for breakfast....hah! We'd all make sure to take our halfeaten yogurt containers to wait for the bus.

Answer 8

She might not be hungry at lunch time. What time does she have breakfast? What time does she have lunch? I went through a period at about that age where lunch was just too early and I wasn't hungry yet, so I'd pack some bananas or something and munch between classes. If she's eating breakfast and dinner normally, it's probably nothing to worry about.

Answer 9

I have 3 kids. I just found out that my 7yr.old doesn't always eat. When he comes home he gets a lite snack until dinner which he picks over as well. My other 2 are 15 &13, they also don't always eat lunch while in school. But my 13yr. comes home & eats a half dozen p&b sandwiches. Don't worry about them not eating they will eat when they get hungry.

Answer 10

Is she shy at all? Maybe she just doesn't want to eat in front of people, I have known many girls who do this, weird but, true. If this isn't the case give her some money to take to school to pick what she wants, maybe she just doesn't like the lunch that you sent. Just ask her why she does this and maybe she will give you the real answer.