Child rape?

Question

Has anyone been through this? How do you feel it has effected your life? What (if anything) has eased your suffering?

How can I help someone who has been through this? (predator was father and has sense died) It is destroying both of our lives.

Why did I get a thumbs-down? This is a sinceer question. Molestation happens to a lot of people, VERY unfortunately. Until we chose to STOP violating children, this world is going to be very messed up with drug addicts and serial killers. Believe me!!

Answer 1

i have not but my ex unfortunately went through it from her father and he was still around and every time she went around him it was like going through it all over again, she carried alot of what happened with her all the time and i encouraged her to seek therapy, she did and after about a year she had opened up alot more and could sleep at night better and it helped her, there are alot of things you can do the best thing is to talk about it and work it out as best you can, maybe therapy, anti-depressants are the way to go... and thanks for asking a coherent and serious question most idiots on this site are morons

Answer 2

The victim needs some serious counseling. The victim needs to realize at the bottom of their soul that it was not their fault, that nothing they said or did (or didn't do) brought this on. The rapist has the full responsibility and until they can deal with this and accept it, they can't move past it. I would suggest you get some too since this is affecting you as well so that you can learn how to better help the victim. It's not like you can kiss a boo-boo and make it go away. It's a lot more complicated than that. You can learn what to do or to say and when and when not to say anything at all.... Victims tend to be full of shame and rage all at the same time and they need to vent--properly--and with professional guidance. Check your local yellow pages for "social service organizations" and contact the rape crisis unit where the victim can get help free of charge. I wish both of you the best of luck!

Answer 3

Child rape was very common in the '50s and '60s. In Massachusetts the Youth Service Board was in charge of juvenile delinquents. The Roslindale detention center was notorious for both child rape and child abuse. It is documented in my book, "Abominable Firebug," as well a Mark Devlin's book, "Stubborn Child."

As much as you might not want to hear this, the resilience of youth is amazing so, just like you have probably heard from others, "you'll get over it!" But, you both probably need a bit of therapy. Some "free" therapy, if you can afford it is to move to a completely new and different environment such as a different city. The abandonment of an older environment, that may invoke bad memories, helps start a healing process. Eventually, the events of the past are so remote that, even though you still remember them, they really don't mean very much anymore.

Answer 4

Yes. I went through this during about 7 years of my childhood. Therapy seems to be the popular answer, but unless you're REALLY ready to let counseling help you, then it's little help. I thought I was ready. I was trying something called EMDR, which is like hypnosis, and is supposed to be great for people with PTSD (& survivors of sexual trauma). It was very overwhelming and upsetting, and when I went in for sessions, I would feel depressed for a few days afterwards. It was more than I could handle at that time.

What has eased my suffering? The distraction that life goes on. I have friends and family who love me. I keep laughing. I try to help other people. I try to do anything BUT think about the past. It may not be the healthiest approach, but it's what has brought ME comfort.

How can you help her? Give her TIME and room to heal. Listen to her. Love her. Remind her why she's wonderful and beautiful, it's hard to remember that you're not gross, disgusting, and broken. Encourage her to get professional help. I wouldn't have even tried if I hadn't been encouraged.

P.S. - I'm glad her daddy's dead.

Answer 5

Many believe that when a child is molested and/or raped there is a part of the child that 'dies' right there. That I believe goes for anyone (even adults) who go through some kinda of sexual assault/abuse. It's hard to deal with something like that. The situation is sad, and I sympathize for both you and the other who are having to deal with this. I have to suggest counseling... I know how cliche' but it will help. Realizing that it happened once, it's no longer happening is crucial to the healing process. Trust issues will arise of course but it's up to that person to actually heal. They can't continue to live their life with the perception that they're a victim. The longer they see them self as a victim the longer they are a victim. Positive outlook, support, and the right counseling in time will help, and yes it will take time. Goodluck

Answer 6

I have been through this, but not by a family member. It was about 12 years ago. I did not receive the correct help then and am still suffering the consequences. Make sure that professional help is sought and lots of support from family and friends is a must. Make sure the child knows that none of it was thier fault, none of it.

Good Luck

Answer 7

I went through this at a very young age I'm not sure just how young I was. It was a neighbor an uncle to a playmate. I can't stand to have anything to do with men who would be old enough to be my father. I don't like dirty talking.I am very uneasy around very tall men. I did enter into talk therapy and it helped me a lot.I also was on medications for several years.

Answer 8

I have been through it. We live in a world of evil. It comes in many forms. We see it in others, we see it in ourselves. Those are the ugly moments of our lives. But that is all they are. They do not have to have any influence on our present. They are just our stories and our experiences and lessons to be learned. It is our choice to cling to that which is good and to flee from evil. It is our choice to let go and disengage from the ugliness in life. We can use these difficult times to be stronger people or we can dwell on them and be crazy people. It really is about choice in which direction you will take. Our minds and our bodies and our souls are living entities that need to be nurtured and the teachings and thoughts and substances we put in them can determine how healthy we are. Please learn to make healthy choices. Read books so that you may have deep insight into what healthy is. Pray for discernment and seek wisdom.

Answer 9

Just be there for your friend, this is the most important thing. The effects last a lifetime. I would suggest therapy.

Answer 10

There is a God,he died. Reassure the child that all men and/or women are not bad.