ive been with my chap for 3 years now and im 5 months pregnant
we didnt plan it but are both over the moon, he is really close to his mum and i do really like her and have always made an effort to invite her over and stuff.
when we found out i rang her on several occasions to tell her stuff yet she has never rung me to ask if im ok, she speaks to her son all the time and ive never heard her ask how im doing, then yesterday he brough a card home from his auntie for xmas which didnt even have my kids names on just said the boys.
i know im emotional at the moment but feel that they dont really care and i dont want to hurt his feelings or cause an argument because its his mum and i know how much he loves her, its her 1st grandchild and i just thought she would have shown a bit more interest.. am i being stupid do you all think
2006-12-13 00:43:04 · 14 answers · asked by missnikid 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ey jeff i have only the two boys but maybe thats it she probably wanted him to be with someone who had none
2006-12-13 00:48:53 · update #1
Yeah hon, you are being hormonal lol.
Don't build a case against your in-laws. If you add up every little thing that someone does "wrong" to you, you will wind up alone and lonely.
I mean, if you look at each little thing, there really is another side to each: perhaps his mom doesn't need to ask how you are because her son that she talks to all the time tells her all the details. For myself, I rarely list every name on a card, most often I'll just put "The Smith Family" and leave it at that.
So yeah, you are letting things get to you ... just take a breath and let love cover this 'multitude of sins' right now.
2006-12-13 00:52:35 · answer #1 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation. Is your fiance the only child or the baby boy of his family? If so this is probably the reason why mom is acting the way she is. She probably feels like you are taking her son away from her and now that a baby is going to be involved she may really feel strong about it. Don't kiss her butt to be her "friend" thats all she wants. As long as you are with him then later for them. Continue to be nice and respectful to her b/c the minute you pick an argument thats her fuel to the fire. Try discussing with your man how you feel. Trust me he is going to be very defensive of "mom". Maybe things will change once the baby comes. Give it a little time
2006-12-13 00:58:56 · answer #2 · answered by Black Diamond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're pregnant and you tend to be more emotional ang sensitive especially with issues like that. I know having to deal with a mother-in-law (or any in-law for that matter) requires a lot of understanding and patience from your parent. Trust me, they're doing the same for you as well. In time she'll adjust to the new set-up of having another "woman" in her son's life. She might be feeling a little jumpy over the forthcoming addition to the family. Things will eventually change for the better once the baby has arrived. She'll mellow soon and would in turn appreciate you some more.
2006-12-13 00:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by Jinky Winky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is his aunt and how often do you see her? If she doesn't see 'the boys' very often she's probably forgotten their names but was too embarrassed to ask.
I've got loads of cousins but couldn't tell you the names of any of their kids because I don't see them and my mum send out Christmas cards on behalf of our branch of the family.
it may be that his mum doesn't want to be seen to be interfering and crowding you - once the baby arrives I'm sure she'll be all over it! Just make sure that you keep her informed about how the pregnancy's going, involve her in shopping trips, ask her advice about things. Then at least you'll know you've made the effort!
2006-12-13 02:24:55 · answer #4 · answered by toscamo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in fairly similar situation.
My husband ignored a lot of it at first just to keep the peace and make life easy. However his parents got worse and worse and now they just don't talk.
Whatever happens, I think it is a good idea to let your husband know how you feel but without really going to town on his family. Remember that is where he came from after all. He will probably know already and just give you a big hug to make you feel better.
At least if his understands you will feel a bit more forgiven for feeling that way.
Other than that, I wouldn't suggest saying anything to his mother - just don't give her any excuses to knock you and keep trying to involve her.
2006-12-13 01:47:14 · answer #5 · answered by peachy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess she is not as over the moon as you both and is engaging in a little bit of disapproval. If she doesn't mention you to her son he will get the message that she is not impressed by the situation. She might be hoping that he will pick up on the clues and leave you. He should have a chat with her to clear up the misunderstanding before it becomes worse.
2006-12-13 00:48:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok speaking as someone who has done the whole blowing things up out of emotion thing i can safely say you are blowing things up due to your hormones. his aunty didnt not acknowledge your kids, she just put the boys which i'm guilty of myself. its not a slur on you at all and you shouldnt take it personally. maybe his mum doesnt want to be seen as interfering as after all your not her daughter. try talking to his mum yourself and invite her to scans and such to encourage her a bit more. if she doesnt seem interested then just be pleased you and your fella are having a baby and be reassured the in laws attitude or what you perceive it to be will change once the baby is here. good luck and i hope all goes well.
2006-12-13 00:51:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she doesn't feel close enough to you yet. Spend some one on one time with her and get to know her as well and you may become friends along with in-laws. As to not using the boy's names ...sometimes if you have a lot of cards to write it's faster to say ...and boys or... and family. Give everything some time and patience and see how it all works out.
2006-12-13 00:49:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're emotional right now. Please try to see the best side of things.
If you should show hurt feelings, and get huffy about it, you may get hurt feelings back from auntie's and mum's "side".
You might be starting a family argument in a place where no problems existed.
2006-12-13 04:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her and be the one to give the relationship a boost. You never know, maybe she's feeling old now that she knows she's going to be a Grandma. This is a very emotional time for all involved. Don't be afraid to reach out to her.
2006-12-13 03:28:10 · answer #10 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋