I am getting over my ex and how he complelly played with my emotions and lied, cheated and lead me on. We have one child together and he talks to him on the phone still but I have little to do with him and don't even want child support cuz he wants to guarantee visits , he lives in a different state anyway. He said he would work things out with us after his bid in prison but he must have gotten real "lonely" and slept with this other woman who says she's pregnant and now he's with her. I don't want him back but I want to move on. Give me suggestions on what to do or tell me what you have done to get through hard times like this without it being self destructive please.
2006-12-13 00:23:19 · 7 answers · asked by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You realize that you AND your child are better off without a loser like that in your lives. You realize that your so better off and you will have less stress and much lower risk of an STD in your life. You realize that there are other and better fish in the sea. You realize that NO LOSER in this world will define YOUR life. Now don't you already feel so much better?
2006-12-13 00:27:45 · answer #1 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi C.J.
Sorry for your situation. We all live and learn and I'm sure you've learnt a lot from this lesson- how to be strong, how to fight for what you believe in etc. As much as a bad person your ex has been, you do have a very beautiful child together.
I wouldn't hate him or have any resent. Understand that what he did was wrong, but anything he did was out of weakness and not of any hatred towards you. You've been an incredible person to get through this with such a clear head, and you despite all the pain that has been caused, he clearly still cares for you and the child.
In today's society, single mums are made to feel like they have made a mistake and feel like they have to carry round more regret than they need to over broken relationships. You have a lovely son, your life ahead of you. I'm not sure how old you are, but you sound young. You've learned all this stuff already, and can take your experience and knowledge into a fresh relationship (at some point!) and every time you look at your son, you know that despite everything, he was born out of love.
Make a clean break with your ex. No swearing. No arguing. Tell him you're sorry for everything that's happened between the two of you, but that you're happy for him to move on with his life. Don't stop him from seeing his son (your son would be devastated later in life), but stay good friends.
The best revenge, is forgiveness as everyone wins :)
2006-12-13 08:33:26 · answer #2 · answered by midsojo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation, with a loser also and trying to get to the point where I dont feel the urge to take him back every other day...
Some things that help me...
*Remind yourself (as often as it takes) exactly WHY you think he is a loser. Be specific...try to recall the things he did, and more importantly how you felt when he treated you badly. I have to do this frequently, because when my husband was a good guy - when he had his good "moments", he was GREAT..however, when he was drinking, or lying, which was most of the time - he put me through hell.
*Cry. Seriously. One night, when your child is in bed, put a sad movie in the dvd player (The Notebook did it for me!) and let yourself cry. Once it starts coming, let it all out. You may have puffy eyes in the morning, but you'll feel cleansed and refreshed.
*Have as little contact with him as possible. When he calls to speak to your son, do not talk to him at all. The only time I speak to my husband is when it pertains to our children...but if you don't even want support from him, then have NO contact with him.
*Get together with some friends and go out at least a couple of times a month. There really are some great people out there. I was scared when my husband and I seperated, because all we had were married friends. You have to not be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and be open and willing to meeting new people. I have met so many new friends and acquaintances - not people who I would trust my deep dark secrets to, but just people like me, who want to go out for dinner, drinks, and dancing, and have a good time. Trust me, it will make you feel better to be hit on by a few guys, to know that your LOSER is missing out.
*Focus on the positive things in your life (your child), and keep envisioning what you want your life to be like in, say, 5 years. Picture how happy you are, and relieved to have the loser out of your life.
Good luck to you! It does get better with time!
2006-12-13 08:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by in love love love... 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that really hurts, i honestly say your doing great for now and hope you keep that spirit up. focused on your child. let him/her be your inspiration on what you should both accomplish. good luck
2006-12-13 08:31:03 · answer #4 · answered by AutumnMemoirs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love your child, remember that!!! Don't let him dictate the way you live your life...
Find someone better... :D
2006-12-13 08:27:50 · answer #5 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go out and party meet other guys and sooner or later u are going to forget
2006-12-13 08:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by zoey z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try wating www.creflodollar ministries.com or joelosteen.com
2006-12-13 08:26:56 · answer #7 · answered by demoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋