I have two sister-in-laws, that have alot of contempt for me and I don't know where it is coming from. I live in a small town and these two seem to make it a point to bad mouth me every chance they get. I am there for them anytime they need me and I don't butt into their relationships with my brothers unless I am defending them, so I wouldn't think that is the problem. I don't know how to handle these two anymore, I do have a feeling I am going to eventually lash out at them. One SIL will actually disrespect me in my home, and try to start arguements over anything, but I don't play in to her. I help them out anytime they need me to watch their children, and have great relationships with my neice and nephews. I have tried diligently to not be confrontational with them over this matter, but I am at my wits end. I respect my brothers and their choice in mates, but wish they would muzzle their wives.
I am a divorced mother of two, run a business and go to school full-time.
2006-12-13 00:13:44 · 15 answers · asked by stacey h 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
People in my community have respect for me as a parent, business owner, and person. It seems as if my SIL's are out to ruin my reputation. What can I do? These two are not friends, but are working towards the same goal. Why would they be so catty?
2006-12-13 00:16:15 · update #1
The problem here could be your brothers. Are you the older sister?? Something that happens a lot is people (aka your brothers) say things like 'why can't you be more like....' or 'you're lazy, look at my sister, she takes care of her kids, goes to school and runs a business and you can't even wash the dishes' etc. If this is the case this will build up resentment on their part.
It could just be that they fell out of the bitchy tree and hit every branch on the way down, but if it is the same with both of them, perhaps the answer is they are being compared to you and they don't like it!
2006-12-13 00:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by jaynic72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, have you tried talking to them about it? How you feel etc. Go ahead - let it all out voluntary unless you want it come out the wrong way without any control.
I think they are jealous of the good a life you have and this is probably something they want too!
Sweety i think you make yourself too available to them so they know they can count on you even if they DISRESPECT you.
I see you have a very busy life - a full life. Take some time for yourself and your family - say NO the the SIL now and then.
Start being honest - when she is DISRESPECTING you in your house - call her on that - tell her to stop, its hurtful, and its going to ruin the relationship that you and them have - which you value soo much.
2006-12-13 00:24:45 · answer #2 · answered by Trini Trixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though they are just very miserable within themselves and perhaps a little jealous of the fact that you are making a life for yourself. Keep doing what you are doing. However, I would confront them in a calm manner. I would simply say something to both of them with someone else present. Like, why is it that you are always attacking me verbally is there something i did to you? If so I am not aware of it and we should clear this up right now. That may stop the nonsense, and it will put them on the spot, which is what I think they need. They sound like your atypical small town gossip miserable human being. I live in a small rural community, and face the same issues with many of my own sisters. You also need to pray for them. They are the ones with the issues and it sounds like insecurities and jealousy. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-13 00:31:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention your brother's attitude toward you, but I would almost be willing to bet that your sister-in-laws are jealous of your brothers and the protective, helpfulness that brothers usually exhibit toward their sisters, especially when their sisters are on their own and having to cope without a male figure in the home.
You mention that you are divorced (your brothers have to feel protective toward you about that), have two kids, (your brothers are your kids' uncles and probably take that seriously), and that you run a business AND go to school full time! Wow. What brother wouldn't want to help his sister out in a case like that?
Yep, betcha sis-in-laws are jealous. Not a lot you can do about it. It's up to them to grow up and get with the program. Maybe if they were more helpful to you, their husbands wouldn't have to be.
2006-12-13 00:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by Puzzler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to tell you the truth, if I were you, I would just tell my brothers what they are doing. Besides you were there for your brothers long before they came along. Just tell your sisters in law to not come over to your house untill they can treat you with respect. And if you want to see your neice and nephews just ask your brothers to bring them over because if you stop spending time with them they might start seeing how their mothers treat you and start to treat you like that themselves. Just remember chin up, dont let any one run over you. They know that you are an important factor in their lives.
2006-12-13 01:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by jaylee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. These women are using you and YOUR allowing them to do it. How dare YOU let someone disrespect you in your own home. These cows have no respect for you and you need to NOT try to be non-confrontational with them and let them know how you feel. TAKE your respect because they are not going to give it up. Your nieces and nephews are your nieces and nephrews because of your bother not the cows; so the relationship with the children shouldnt change. Put those fools in their place and TAKE your place. They will walk over you for the rest of their lives IF you let them.
2006-12-13 00:18:05 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't let other people do that to you. If you have aome respect left for yourself, you ought to stand up to them and confront them. You said that you're on your wits end, do something now before you've saturated yourself enough to make things worse. Examine yourself also, why would they want to destroy you? Things like these could get messy if you wouldn't act on it ASAP!
These people ought to start thinking about bad Karma... sheesh...
Good luck to you. God bless.
2006-12-13 00:58:15 · answer #7 · answered by Jinky Winky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do this because of the reaction you give them. Dont let it bother you at all cost, and do not keep thinking about this negative situation. you are giving it more energy by thinking about it alkl the time. also stop looking after their kids until you get the respect you deserve.
2006-12-13 00:21:35 · answer #8 · answered by demoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you can do, except divorce yourself from the family as you did your ex-husband.
A few months of years of separation from that part of the family might give them time to think, but most likely nothing will ever change. Sorry...
2006-12-13 00:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seem your two sister-inlaw are envious to you, for some reasons. If I were you I will comfront them with " WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? that works w/me. Do not let anybody disrespect, you, at an early stages you nip it on the bud.
2006-12-13 00:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋