GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*
Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short. Dance naked
2006-12-13 00:02:40 · 24 answers · asked by biggsy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
ha ha. that would put a smile on anyones face!!
2006-12-13 00:22:22 · answer #1 · answered by Sophie K 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are right about the teenagers ! Nailing jelly to a tree lol
Thanks for the smile :)
2006-12-13 08:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Those were good. I loved the "nailing jelly to a tree line". Where did you find these quotes?
2006-12-13 08:09:08 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thankyou!
I've had a couple of stressful weeks, and you just helped me to smile again!
2006-12-13 14:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good, but I don't like to dance naked.
2006-12-13 08:09:31 · answer #5 · answered by Truth bearer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You made me smile, was having a poo day!
2006-12-13 08:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by chelle0980 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats good made me smile awwww
2006-12-13 08:22:32 · answer #7 · answered by Mea 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
growing up is optional. yep thats me. l'd mao thanx.
i dont dance.i just hang out. :-{D
2006-12-13 08:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by blowmymind 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Brilliant, well done for cheering my day!
2006-12-13 08:17:19 · answer #9 · answered by voodoobluesman 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LMAO thats all funny and true!
2006-12-13 08:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by booh 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋