What would be proper etiquette? I'm a little old fashioned so I want to be sure I do this right. Do you speak with the lady's father first about marrying his daughter or do you propose & then go talk with the father? Been through one marriage & I want to do this one right from the beginning.
2006-12-12 23:22:22 · 13 answers · asked by meandale 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Either way works. From a woman's perspective, though: I would rather have him ask me first. It's sweet that he wants my father's blessing, but it's 2006; and I speak for myself. Understand that you are asking for her parents blessing, not permission.
2006-12-12 23:25:04 · answer #1 · answered by Kara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the lady first. Then, it would be proper to speak with her father. I am not sure that this is done much anymore, but I think it's the right thing to do.
2006-12-12 23:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion everyone has feelings which should not be hurted. You hsould firstly talk to the lady because marrying will effect her life not her father's. Suppose her father agrees & she marries you cause of her father you will not be able to live that happy.
So you should firstly propose her & if the answer is yes take the permission of her father. Then carry it out as per your wish. Cause certainly she's going to live her life not her father. This is not the matter of etiquette but the matter of two hearts.
2006-12-12 23:35:07 · answer #3 · answered by Aks 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Back in the day of old, it was proper for the fellow to ask the father for the daughters hand in marriage.
The father would approve or disapprove depending on what you have to offer his daughter.
That's sweet, that you want to do this.
Wishing you well!!!!!!!
Been married for close to 21 years here and going strong!!!!
2006-12-12 23:32:30 · answer #4 · answered by kitt_kattkitt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the father first. That way everyone's in on the surprise except her, and it's more special to make it a family thing.
2006-12-13 01:40:32 · answer #5 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You speak to the father first . As with the other answer - it is 2006 and I would want to be asked first. My partner asked me first and although thats what I wanted, I think it has always bothered my Dad that he didnt get asked!!!
2006-12-12 23:35:11 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say either way is fine, but I wouldn't give her the ring until after the big talk with her father.
2006-12-13 05:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by onefootnaked 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you know the girl? cause I have heard it done both ways. one where the guy asked the dad first, the other where he proposed, then went to talk to the dad. both girls were complete puddles and told me with incredible joy.
think about what she would like best.
good luck man, may God bless your marriage!
2006-12-12 23:28:18 · answer #8 · answered by Netty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally you would first ask the father, definitely.
2006-12-12 23:28:29 · answer #9 · answered by Fräulein Jaclyn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's an outdated tradition.....women are no longer "property" of men...so it is not necessary to ask permission of the father for his "property"......
.....but if you insist on doing it, then you'd better do it right and offer him some livestock in trade
2006-12-13 03:52:14 · answer #10 · answered by SNAP! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋