I love my boyfiriend very much but he's not an emotional person at all. However i am, i need to be hugged, kissed and told that im loved and he thinks that i should just know because he's with me. Is it wrong to constantly fight with him to show me and tell me he cares? or should he just be with someone that doesnt need those things for him? is it wrong for me to try to change him in that way? Should I just give up and find someone that can do those things?
2006-12-12 22:55:04 · 15 answers · asked by Gale 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you can't change a person. but if a person loves you enough and wants to, they can change themselves. instead of arguing, just tell him calmly, "this is what i need to feel happy and secure. i know that seems odd to you, but different people have different needs." then ask him to at least try to show it a little more than he does. don't expect a complete turn-around in a short period of time. be patient. but if he never shows any effort to help you feel happier and secure, then maybe he's not who you should be with. also, keep in mind that there are areas that you could improve or change of yourself to make him happier. maybe instead of trying to change him, change yourself FOR him. and when he sees you trying to be a better girlfriend for him, then maybe he'll be inspired to be a better boyfriend for you.
2006-12-12 23:00:38 · answer #1 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Before you started going out with him did you take the time to see if he met your needs?probably not or you would not be in this situation. Anywho Its wrong to try to change some one, and fight with them because they lack the emotional support you need. You should try talkin to him not fighting just talk to him and let him know how you feel. And from certain words have used maybe the problem does not lie in him, but in you. Think back in your life and try to remember what you lacked as a child that you need someone to pick up. Maybe an absent parent or not feeling loved as a child has driven you to the point where you are willing to loose the time invested in your relationship. and when you say things like give up on him, he must like you cause he hasnt given up on you, because clearly you have the problem.
2006-12-12 23:22:26 · answer #2 · answered by PNUTT87 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys are not outwardly affectionate but show their love by what they do for you.
If you pay attention to other things he says and does, you will see his love.
Asking someone to change how they show they care about you doesn't seem like a good idea.
If you need lots of hugs and kisses from someone in order to know you are loved, then you should find a more demonstrative boyfriend.
2006-12-12 23:10:04 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay in a relationship there is give and take and compromise. You have expressed to him what you need in a relationship and he is tell you you should just know. These are things you need and he is not willing to do them. These are normal thing to want affection. If this relationship is already having difficulty in expressing feelings ones that you need and should have then it is time to move on. This is your significant other and if he is not giving you what you need and is telling you this is how he is, you can not change him so it is time to move on. I really hate saying that but I hate people being in relationships and are not getting out of it all they need or want. Life is so short to be with someone that is not capable of giving you love and affection.
2006-12-12 23:05:40 · answer #4 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me your boyfriend is scared of commitment... don't panic though some blokes are just put your foot down and say i want to you to be more affectionate if you do love me prove it. If that doesn't worry then i say you should end it because you deserve someone better someone that hugs you and kisses you and tells you he loves you for no reason but to make you feel wanted your worth it. Just follow your heart . Good Luck sweetie x
2006-12-12 23:01:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really find another guy, This guy doesnt want to change now that your fighting with him about this, this is exactly what my ex used to do... she never wanted to do anything as far as kissing or hugging or cuddling, all she wanted to do is have sex and get drunk. Its a horrible feeling and i know how you feel on this
2006-12-12 23:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by Jesus Built My Hotrod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way he is,is the way he will stay, trust me you can not Change him ,there for you need to find some one that you will be HAPPY with,So unfortunately you should move on,and don't worry Mr Right is out there just keep looking.Good luck.
2006-12-12 23:21:35 · answer #7 · answered by chascicc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will never change. If you can't get what you need from him now, you never will.
I don't know why women think they can change men. If we had that kind of power, we could end world hunger and wars.
If he isn't giving you what you want, you need to find someone else. Good luck.
2006-12-12 22:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by Firespider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can't change anybody. he will get tired and dump u at the end but he will not change - this is how he is. if u want to be hugged and kissed u have to find a hugger and kisser. but obviously he won't have some of qualities your current bf has
2006-12-12 23:00:06 · answer #9 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not going to change anybody. If a person wants to change and be the kind of person you want they will have to do it own their own without anybody nagging at them. If this guy doesn't fulfill your needs then its time to move on.
2006-12-12 22:57:29 · answer #10 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋