Difference between right and wrong?

Question

My son is 2 years old and we are trying to get him to understand that hurting his 1 year old sister is not correct. We don't like to smack him and it has not worked.We tried a naughty corner, initially it worked, he now is deliberately naughty and then runs to the naughty corner after his actions before we even see him being naughty. What can we do??

Answer 1

explain to him that he is valuable and precious to you because he is your child.

tell him that if someone was hittting him, you would be very angry at that person, because you love him, and they have no right to hurt him.

then say that your daughter is also very precious and valuable and that you don't want anyone to be hitting her either, even if it is her brother.

explain that he has no right to hit her any more than another child, because she is important to you, and you will not put up with it.

obviously sitting in the corner is ineffective. when he does it again, take his wrist firmly and look at him in the eyes and tell him "i said don't do that"...punctuating each word (also firmly - not yelling...but let him know that you are serious...enough to make his eyes pop because of his surprise...and if he cries don't let his tears soften you).

i would tell him beforehand, while things are calm, when you are explaining how important the both of them are to you, that you intend to be more serious about hitting, and the next time he does it, he will lose TV privelages for a certain amount of time, or dessert, or his favorite toy...something that will really affect him, instead of just going to a corner. he thinks it's a game, and it needs to stop.

then when the hitting starts, correct him firmly and tell him what his punishment is, and do it, and remind him why he's getting it.

like..."i. said. don't. do. that. (clench your teeth) she is important to me and i don't want anyone hitting her. now, because of that, you cannot watch TV for the rest of the day. now apologize to your sister and me."

and then later..."waaa...mommy...i want to watch my show...you're a big meany...you don't love me...waa..."

you say, "yes, i do love you. i don't want you to grow up to be a mean person, and hopefully this will help teach you and you will remember this next time you want to hit your sister. i would do the same to her if she was hitting you."

sorry this was so long.

Answer 2

Try to be a good role model and teach him to handle problems in a smart way instead of using anger. Kids usually behaves according to what they see. So, try to be a good role model. He may not get this behaviour from you, but he may be getting it from other people. You need to control and provide him with a safe environment. Including TV, make sure he did not watch any movies that shows aggresive behaviour. When you caught him hurting his sister, immedietly tell him that is not a right thing to do. If he keeps on doing it, use the 'time out' method. For 2 years old, a time-out of 2 minutes is enough. When the 2 minutes is over, get back to him, and ask him if he still wants to repeat the behaviour, and then comfort him. No matter what, DO NOT use corporal punishment. Whenever you see you child is playing happily with his little sister, you can try reinforce him by saying it is a right thing to do or just say ' I like to see you playing with your sister like that'. You can also reward him. Let him know why you are rewarding him, it is impotant for them to know because they will much likely to repeat the good behaviour.

Answer 3

maybe when your daughter has a nap during the day you could spend quality time alone with your son, play a game, do something with him that he loves doing with you without his sister, do this every day with him then if he hurts his sister, tell him that because of the way he has behaved he will not be having his mummy and him time today, but be consistent rather than send him to a naughty corner, deprive him of something he loves doing, that always worked with both of my sons, good luck

Answer 4

I was an infant/ toddler teacher for years and one of the day cares I worked for came up with a good idea that really worked well to teach children emphathy. When a child hit or bit another child, the offending child was given the job of helping the other child feel better. We would say, "look, Jenny is crying because you hurt her, so you need to hold the ice pack on her owie so that she feel better." This helped the children to take responsibilty for their actions.

Answer 5

You just need to be consistent. When he is bad seperate him. Get down to his eye level. If he has a tantrum wait until it is over, don;t react to it. When he is calm explain to him what he did that was wrong. Explain that he will be punished. They say a time-out should be the number of years the child is, so two years=two minutes. make it a place he doesnt want to be-on his bed, in a different corner, do not acknowlege him when he is in time out. Good luck.

Answer 6

Being a dad,it`s seem children test you to see how far they
can go.We never smacked them and puzzled how to stop
bad behaviour,the only way e found was a stern voice
whilst making the children look at our faces.
It always usually worked.failing that it was of to another room
for a short time on there own.

Answer 7

I am not an expert, but it seems to me that he is doing things for attention, whether its good or bad and although you may show him lots of attention your probably not showing it right when he wants it! there is really nothing you can do about it I am going through the same thing, ignore things when possible and try taking favorite toys away or watching tv, etc. I hope i was helpful! Good luck i wish you the best!

Answer 8

That's a weird one. He sort off punishes himself......

he might be seeing it as a game that he plays. He's only two, but still he needs to understand doesn't he? he does it deliberately, cause he thinks its a game, that what i would say. I wish i had some advice, but he's just two and they sort of understand and then sort off not.

Good luck, that's all i can say sorry!

Answer 9

umm... well he knows he's being bad and knows his punishment. where is the bad part in that? is it you are upset you arent able to go through the motions of punishing him yourself? i think its good of him to recognize what he is doing is wrong. However you need to teach him to do the right thing instead of just punishing him. next time, he runs to the corner, ask him what he did and explain to him how to fix his behavior.. maybe he thinks he can do the bad things as long as he spends some time in the corner.

Answer 10

Instead of punishing his bad behavior, reward his good behavior. He enjoys the negative attention he gets from you when he misbehaves, so instead give him positive attention when he doesn't. Make a sticker chart and give him a sticker or a treat everytime he doesn't hurt her or is nice to her, he'll have more incentive to be nice to his sister.