i cut myself a lot...how do i try and not scare my friends??

Question

i can't hide it from them all the time...i just don't know what to say to them to make them feel better...they know i go to a psychologist...and i'm 14 so most of them are 13 or 14 and i just don't know how to help them handle it and i don't want to lose them as friends...any suggestions??

Answer 1

I have a friend who are facing same problems. And your friends are scared cause you cut yourself. None of your friends wants to see you hurt yourself. Try not to cut yourself while love yourself as well as your friends will love you.

Answer 2

I hope this is a serious question...if it is, does your psychologist know that you cut yourself? I'm assuming that he/she does. If not, that needs to be at the top of your conversation list the next time you see your psychologist.

While you're at it, you might also ask your psychologist the same question you asked here about not scaring your friends. Hopefully you'll get some good advice. At least you'll be sure to get an "educated" answer.

It's sometimes hard at your age for other kids to understand things like this. Are you noticing that they're uncomfortable about it or have they asked you about the cuts? If it doesn't seem to bother them, I wouldn't worry too much.

If worse comes to worst, honesty has always worked best for me, but I'm not sure if it would be the best thing to do in this situation.

Before you do anything, I'd ask your psychologist about it first, then decide.

Answer 3

hello..well this is from someone who really understands what you are going through. I have the same condition as you and I am now 50. Others who have not been involved with this just don't understand. Wear long sleeves and bracelets, and if they ask just tell them. I understand your inner pain. The kind that cutting makes feel better.But I have kept going to a thereapist and so far I have not cut in two years. There have been some close calls but I told someone what I was feeling and I got busy and did something else or called the crisis help line. Good luck kiddo.

Answer 4

Your friends are concerned about you because you are hurting yourself. If you continue to act out and do this kind of behavior, you won't have any friends to worry about! In fact, you won't have yourself to worry about!

You say you are seeing a psychologist for your problem..that is a step in the right direction...a very positive step. You need to continue to work on why you would have so much self hate that you would want to punish yourself. You should definitely do positive things each day....maybe for other people as well. If you are focusing on helping others, you will feel better about yourself and maybe stop thinking that cutting yourself has any benefit. It sounds so simple, but try to focus on this...a negative act creates negative feelings.....a positive act creates positive feelings.

Keep a private little chart in your room and mark it each day. Check off every time you let negativity into your life....check off every time you create positive in your life too. Try to work really hard on doing more positive things. Any little thing will do, as long as it warms your heart and the heart of another. Maybe help an elderly person do something they are unable to do, or go to the animal shelter one day a week and walk a dog, or just smile at someone and make them feel good! The possibilities are endless..Saying a prayer for you..best wishes.

Answer 5

Well, I know exactly what you're going through. I was 12 when I started, and my friends were all about 13 when they found out about it. The only thing you can really do is try to explain it to them.
If they ask to see the cuts, show them (if you're okay with that yourself). I found that that helped them to see what I was doing, and when they asked why, I just tried to tell them honestly. They will be upset at first, but give them time to chill out and they'll come round. Don't pile a load of information on them if they don't want it, but if they ask, then they're probably genuinely concerned.
Just one other thing - sorry if this sounds obvious - some people will just be really grossed out about it, and although they still want to be there for you, will need some time to come round. Don't let your friends see the scars any more than you can help, it will just remind them all the time. There have been a couple of questions about looking after scars and stuff, I can't remember them at the moment...anyway, I'm going off on a tangent here. Friends.
My friends really didn't get it at first - I don't think you can really understand it unless you've been through it - but they were still really supportive. Now I'm 17, and some of them seem to get it more than others, but they are all there to give me hugs when I need them, which is the most important thing. If you try to explain it to them, I'm sure they'll try to help you. And congratulations for going to a psycologist, that's a great step! You've done something about it, which I'm sure people will be proud of you for. Good luck chick! *hugs* Emily x

Answer 6

Most people are frightened of what they don't understand. Just be yourself and if they are friends they will in time accept this as I'm sure you accept parts of them you may not be comfortable with. They are very lucky to have your friendship as you are concerned for their feelings despite your own distress. That is really admirable.
I cut myself from age 14 to age 22 (7 years ago). It is only in recent years that I have stopped wearing roll neck jumpers and long sleeves all the time. I see it now as what saved my life and got me through some terrible times.
I hope your psychology is useful but please remember that you have the knowledge and the power to help yourself. If possible try to do it less. For me the gaps got longer and longer and what I was able to cope with grew. You sound very intelligent and articulate. You have friends and are considerate of their needs. I don't think you'll lose friends at all. Good luck with everything.

Answer 7

I know exactly how you feel about your friends being scared. Sometimes being honest with them may help, but they are very young to understand the type of pain you are feeling. I wish you did not have to be going throught this. i carried the scares of cutting for years, I knew I had to stop one way or another when one of my students asked me about them.

A lot of people have advised you to simply stop cutting, you can do this. I did. But now instead of cutting I pull my hair and four bald spots from it. It depends on why you cut for how easy or difficult it will be to stop. There is always a risk of developing a new "habit" as I did.

Cutting can be for many different reasons it can be OCD related, emotionally connected to physical pain, or yes you are seeking attention. Since you ae already seeing a psychologist you really should ask him/her. There are medications that can help, I've just started Paxil, but they pros and cons have to be weighed very carfully because of your age.

Answer 8

you should be under medical care. You are so young and you should be happy and carefree instead of hurting yourself. Tell about your problem to this psychologist but if you feel that he/she can't help you change the doctor. You need immediate help not only because of your friend but for you because you and your health are the most important matters. If you find a good doctor the therapy should limit your sufferings. Good luck.

Answer 9

The ultimate answer is not to do it - but it isn't as easy as that. Friends will feel frustrated because no matter what they say they can't make you feel better and they would/will find it difficult to understand why you do it.

Need to think about other ways of dealing with your anger/frustration aside from harming yourself.
Things such as a martial art to help you channel your energy can help.. and whenever you feel frustrated you can practise that - but carefully.

There is no easy answer to this - and sorry if this sounds harsh - but the only way to prevent loosing them is to find a way to stop.

Harming yourself doesn't make them love you anymore - sometimes it increases the attention - but only for a period of time and you can get into viscious cirles with this.

I hope you find a way through this period - and I sincerely hope your friends stick by you and help you through it - I'm sure they will - and true friends will.

Answer 10

First of all, stop cutting! Then you won't scare them! Is all cutting is is a form of mental illness. My niece cuts also, and she started at 14 and is now 16, But one thing you can do, is explain to your friends that you have so much pain on the inside, that you try to make it stop on the oustside. It takes your mind off of what is going on in your head that is causing you so much pain. But I am glad to hear that you are getting counseling. The best gift you could give your friends is to stop cutting, or just not tell them or let them see where you have. Quit BRAGGING about the cutting and then they won't know, will they?

Answer 11

you could either try stopping or hiding it better, i'm not really sure what to suggest, i have the same problem but i usually manage to hide my cuts under my watch (i have a really wide watch on my wrist). i understand that your friends must feel a little scared but assure them your getting help for it and maybe that'll be some comfort. as i cut myself too it seems rather hypocritical to tell you to stop but it would be better for you. good luck.