Both my daughter and graddaughter live with me. My daughter tells her daughter things which I consider inappro

Question

priate. For example all about childkillers and vampires,abused children ect. What do I do

It is my bussiness as I have broght her up as my own, I have joint parental rights

the kid is 6,and my mum is possing as me!!

Answer 1

Personally, I would tactfully get into a conversation w/ my daughter and bring up telling a child more than they need to hear. Children frighten easily and take everything very literally. I found this out when I terrified the neighborhood kid by telling him I was going to put him in the garbarge pail for Friday pickup. he was terrified and I had to explain I was just kidding. some people might say it's none of your business but your family and if family won't discuss things like this then there's something wrong today.

Answer 2

It seems that both mom and grandmom need to have a meeting of the minds here, insofar as how to instruct the child. The only other option here is for the mom and daughter to move into their own living place.Mom needs to be the main child-rearer, obviously, but grandmom can offer some timely information and assistance in this feat. Barring these options, it appears the unhappiness will only continue, and will cause a rift too deep to repair. The child is only 6, and should benefit from both. Work together. Good luck

Answer 3

Poor you, it sounds like you already have problems with your daughter that you have joint custody. I feel there is nothing you can do to stop your daughter, but you certainly can give your granddaughter the flip side of what she says, gently explaining about your beliefs on vampires, child killers etc. dont put your daughter down or she will tell her mum for sure and you know this will cause conflict. Depending on her age the granddaughter I would take her for walks to the library and look up some topics if you can, and tell her to form her own opionion. Good luck sounds like you need it.

Answer 4

How old is the little girl? Is her mother responding to questions raised by the child?
I wouldn't do anything to antagonise the situation, but try to tell her you worry for your granddaughter's peace of mind.
Bring up some of the fears from your own childhood.
It really does depend on the age of the child and what she's heard at school. You could also mention that your daughter is discussing this at school (as she will) and some parents will take exception to it.
But the peace in your home is more important. Don't allow it to be an argument with your granddaughter having to choose between the two of you.

Answer 5

How would you have felt if your mother had told you what to do when you were bringing up your daughter, you wouldn't like it would you?

I think this world ignores the risks too much thinking that children can't handle things but if they told from an early age it becomes something they are aware of and they are more likely to be careful and also, tell someone if something bad happens to them.

If you really can't keep out of it just discuss the matter and if your daughter wants to carry on then respect her wishes.

Answer 6

Talk to your daughter about it. There's no use steaming over something that your daughter may not even be aware of. If you are nice about it and don't come off too strongly, your daughter will respect your opinion and take it into consideration. Even if she doesn't act like it at the time, she will think about it later when she sees your grand daughter again. Don't go directly to your granddaughter though as this will cause her unfair confusion and stress between looking towards you and her mother.

Answer 7

You need to sit down and talk with your daughter and tell her the things that she is telling your granddaughter are inappropriate. Telling a child about childkillers, children being abused and other horrible stuff, is not healthy for them. Tell her that you will not accept this kind of stuff in your home. Let your daughter know that you love them both very much but you really don't feel that those kind of subjects are not healthy for a child to hear. Since you have legal joint parental rights, and your daughter refuses to change and you think this kind of behavior of your daugher is hurting your granddaughter emotionally, talk to a social worker or the judge about it to see if there is something that can be done.

Answer 8

It depends on her reasoning for telling her child.It's probably a good thing to gently tell her child that people in this world are sick,twisted and mentally unstable but she really should focus on the facts such as never talking to strangers etc.Not sure why she would be telling a child about pirates and vampires unless she gets some weird kick outta scaring her child in which case that's wrong and slightly disturbing,and you would have a reason to butt in and say something.

Answer 9

I personally think that you should have a word with your daughter and raise your concerns but at the end of the day she is her daughter and should be making her own desicions on what she tells her.... Would you have appreciated your own mother doing the same to you when you were rasing your daughter?

I value what my mother has taught me and she has never shown the world to me through rose-tinted glasses. I appreciate knowing that my mother hasnt hidden away the bad things in the world. At the same time i had a huge amount of respect for my grandma's (RIP) opinions but knew that both my mother and grandma were never always right.

Good luck and dont let it ruin a good family bond.

Answer 10

I don't want to sound cold or bitchy but its not your busness. Its best to stay out of it. What she tells her daughter is up to her.

well if you have joint custody why didn't you say that at first? Since you have that then if its really unappropreite then talk with your daughter if she continues then think about full custody. But just remember just cuz you don't think its right doesn't mean its not. I tell my kids about child killers. They have to know that it exists so they know who to look out for. They also know there is a child rapest down the street. They have to know that bad people and things exist .