better than me, or just rude?

Question

i play in a band with a girl a year younger than me. she only started this year, and i've been playing for seven years.

recently, she's gotten a bit arrogant, and tried to demote me to third trumpet from second.

i took offence, as every time i tried to get my correct folder off her (2nd), i was told to f*** off.

she thinks shes better than me, i dont think she is.
so, i swapped the folders around, so the 2nd trumpet music is in the third trumpet folder, and vice versa.

i do occaisionally make mistakes, but i count the bars and play the notes with no help, while she watches others so she doesnt have to count, or concentrate, for that matter.

is she really better than me, or just plain rude?

Answer 1

She's just plain rude, don't stoop to her level.

Answer 2

I have 3 children who are in band. One of which is a trumpet player. He is currently 1st chair but often has to battle with the 2nd chair. His band director however, allows for the challenging of another for the chair. Ask your band director if you can challenge this other player for the position. In this way it will get firmly established who is the better player. Should she take your music again and tell you "f" off then all you need do is approach your director and tell him that you would like to make sure that you have the appropriate music for 2nd chair as the 3rd chair person is mistaken in which music she should have and is being difficult. She isn't your friend so who cares if you snitch her out.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, bands and orchestras encourage competition, which I'm sure is the reason this is happening.

The members of the band are not the people who decide who sits in what chair -- that's the teacher's/bandleader's job. I'd recommend that you talk to that person if you're having trouble with your neighbor.

If she wants to, she can formally challenge you for your seat by the regular band procedures.

Don't worry about what others can do. Just do your best and progress, and everything will be great for you.

My guess is that this girl is impressed by you, and she is expressing those feelings in a negative way. Perhaps your being kind to her and paying attention to her would help her to get over it and feel freer to be nicer.

Answer 4

Na, just let her be. She won't go any further than that, I assure you. Just relax, girl. Of course I know what to tell you, bcoz my condition is the same as yours.
Don't say you want to be famous after all, maybe you have something better and special that she never has, and use it to be 'famous' in the the other way... Good luck and I love you.

Answer 5

She is both BETTER then you and RUDE! She is better in a sense that she smarter then you are! She can make use of the others. She work smart but you work hard. She knows the short cut! She should be humble and that will take her further. So, with your experiences and hard working, you surely can be much better than her. Just be humble and prove it to everyone not only to her that you are the best, OK! GOOD LUCK MY DEAR!

Answer 6

I thought the chairs were selected by the conductor or director.
Don't you both have to try out for your positions?

If she is taking your folder, I think you should talk to your band leader about the problem, so (s)he is aware of the problem.

Answer 7

If you use your head, you would know that eventually she will not progress like she's supposed to. So, your problem will be solved. It may be rude, but most young people are now days.

Answer 8

She is just straight up rude. Sorry for your trouble. But like someone said, don't stoop to her level! :)

Answer 9

If you really feel badly about all this, it may be time to talk to the instructor.

Answer 10

shes definitely plain 'vitch'