On Christmas Eve, my daughter and I are alone and then my she goes to her dads for Christmas and its also been written this way in our divorce papers.
My ex's family has always had their gathering on Christmas day.
My familiy has always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve and we all go to church at mid-night.
I have an older sister that's horrible, 8 years ago she changed our family tradition to getting together on Christmas Day. My mentioning that I would not have my daughter was disregarded. I've gone alone and been left out of conversations, the food I brought was "accidently" forgotten or dropped on the floor. I'm fed up with the mean, hateful games my sister plays and fed up with the rest of the family allowing her to treat me this way,.
What can I do to make it pleasant for my daughter. We don't have much money to do much of anything. Thank you for your help.
2006-12-12 17:40:15 · 17 answers · asked by hot single mom 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I think that there is too much put into Christmas....it should be for family's...but it never seems to be a happy time for lots of people..
me as well....my family have done much the same thing..so now i just do things with my wife and kids....and if the other family wants to see me they all know where i live....maybe you can just go and be with daughter...do some thing that you both can do....like going out to parks....beach..(even in winter)i think that the best times that a family could do some thing together....they will remember that far longer than any prezzie that you could give them.....
2006-12-12 17:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by Keith S 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dear Hot Mom,
Sometimes you just wish there was an F1 button for dealing with meanness and all the sick little things that small minded people come up with...
Since you did not tell us how old your daughter is, and where you are located, I will just assume that you are in the US and have a daughter who is at an age that she will be fully aware of how good or bad a Christmas is.
I don't have much money either, and I don't spend any during the season, for the sake of the season. I do get gifts for my daughters, but no big spends on decorations and lights and get togethers...
We do have a family meal, normally lunch at my folk's place on Christmas day, but nothing more...
I suggest that you make it an outing with your daughter...
Go to the children's ward in a hospital, or an orphanage, in a poorer section of the town.
Find out before you go, on what is allowed and you could probably cook something to take with you. Kids at those places don't want gifts as badly as they would like a warm smile and and a friendly face... The joy and gratefulness that you get in return will more than compensate for your sister. I think both you and your daughter might discover something together.
The place where I presently work, have days (normally the first saturday of the month) on which we get together to spend a day with orphans, or with spastic children, or in old age homes.
We take a book or two for reading to the children, some stuffed toys, and always candy...:)
But there have been good answers to your question, too, including just vegging out for the day, and eating and watching old re-runs or movies...
Very importantly do remember to try and gauge what your daughter would like to do too, that way, things may not be a real disaster.
If you are ever in Bangalore, India, let me know, you could always spend your Christmas with my family...:)
2006-12-12 18:19:17 · answer #2 · answered by ronniejacob 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take the day and be thankful that the 2 of you have and love each other. Get dressed up and visit the local hotels and look at the Holiday displays, even if you only order a cup of hot cocoa and split a piece of cake or pie, you'll have created your own tradition with your daughter. The cost will be minimal and the 2 of you will always be able to keep this new tradition in the future; even when she has children of her own.
Relatives will be relatives, if you choose to go, take a fruitcake for your sister and tell her you brought an appetite. Next year ask her if she needs or wants any help with the family get together, and remind her you can always get another fruitcake, they multiply like the dickens.
2006-12-12 17:54:52 · answer #3 · answered by rawalt17 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can go to Tyrones house! Ha, I'm only kidding.
I think whats really important is being with each other. Cook a meal (chicken, ham, turkey, tacos, etc, etc) get some Christmas movies and just vedge.
When I was younger I hated going to my extended families house for the holidays. They were always so fake. One year I was really sick with the flu so my mom and I stayed home while my dad did the norm. We had the best holiday ever!! She made chicken wings, rice, and corn (my fave) and we watched Grease, Dirty Dancing, and Pretty Woman.
Good luck and Happy holidays.
2006-12-12 17:45:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your daughter should go to Church on christmas eve as before with friends or just together, (invite her friends??)
Have you Christmas eve exchange together, as she will not be with you for Christmas day anyway.
During Christmas day perhaps you could find a volunteer server position with your Church at a shelter, then you can tell your family that you have a proir commitment and let them do what they are going to do anyway, snub you. Just do not tell them what your doing so they can feel the dig when they find out later.
2006-12-12 17:57:16 · answer #5 · answered by Carl P 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry you and your daughter are being treated so callously.Maybe hint at your ex-in-laws that you two would like to spend Christmas with them.That way she would have both Mommy and Daddy together on a friendly basis.Your family might want to question why you did so which would allow you to vent.I do understand how you feel as my mother and I went through a similar circumstance.Hope everything works out well for you and your daughter.
2006-12-12 17:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by inyrfcgul 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would avoid going to your sisters at all, and Maybe take your daughter to your parents on Christmas eve, so she and they can be together. and Mention to your freinds or coworkers about your situation and see if you can spend chrismas day with one of them, while your daughter is at her Dads. I dont know. I wouldnt want to be where I didnt feel cared about. I'd rather go to a movie alone than be in that situation. Try to be happy with your daughter somewhere, I guess. Good Luck!
2006-12-12 17:49:33 · answer #7 · answered by Big hands Big feet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The hard part with this is that your family ALLOWS your sister to do this... are you still on good terms with your Mom or Dad... were you their favorite? either one of them... really the only way to deal with this might be to confront the *****... I know I would be mad at either of my sisters if they treated me, my wife, or anyone like you've mentioned...
Do you have another sibling? Talk to them and see how they feel about the switch...
last ditch.. talk to your ex... see if you can start alternating ... the papers may be pretty permanent... but if he really cares about the well-being of his daughter then he might be willing to take her next year for Christmas Eve...
2006-12-12 17:48:29 · answer #8 · answered by teche16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you opt for an attorney to ascertain this. collectively because it incredibly is despicable what he has achieved (or no longer achieved) contained in the previous, your newborn nevertheless merits a relationship with the father - perhaps it would desire to be supervised nevertheless. enable your guy or woman feeling of disgust and betrayal decide for the sake of your newborn. Say no longer something undesirable approximately him in front of her, whether you would be able to desire to lie. try this for her sake, no longer his. i think of as quickly as you place up a widely used visitation time table, supervised a minimum of contained in the beginning up, you will see if he's incredibly interested in springing up a relationship or if he replaced into in simple terms attempting to get an improve out of you by using his point of committment and if he exhibits up for each pass to. It happens all the time, 2 human beings create a toddler and then incredibly study who the different determine is - and hates them (for good reason many situations - love IS blind). however the toddler is right here, and merits to comprehend the two mum and dad. you chosen to sleep with him and make a toddler, now settle for he's your daughters father and make the final of it.
2016-10-05 06:15:19 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi- "Relax" it is only one day of the year- in relaxing about it you can better analyze others commitment to the behavior patterns being cultured for this day
There is always something new to learn if you don't judge others for their manipulative ways.. Time will pass and your daughter will be a Women soon..
Set an example and be big about this one day- she probably should enjoy
Life can be more ... interesting
2006-12-12 17:52:55 · answer #10 · answered by Frank W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋