Is it possible to get back togeter?

Question

To summarize a long and complicated story:
Me and my girlfriend of 18 months recently broke up. She was my first love and I was hers. Everything was going great. We spent nearly all of our time together: everyday after school, everyweekend day, every family vacation. We couldn't get sick of each other. I'm 19 years old and she's 16. I got a lot of crap from people about this in the beginning of our relationship but for some reason I still dated her.

Things were amazing till I went off to college. We were only 45 min apart so the distance wasn't terrible but it was a huge adjustment for both of us since we basically spent every waking moment together. I came home nearly every weekend of the first quarter to see her and she just acted distant. I confronted her about it and she broke down crying. She said I took a piece of her with me to college and she needed to find it. She needed to find out how to be happy on her own. She said she still had hope.

This is how the break up happened:
We decided to take a break. She said she needed it and I the path we were on was going no where-she was acting akward for no aparent reason. But when she told me she needed the break we were both balling. We never imagined it'd come to this. We both used to talk about how perfect our relationship was. I asked her if she wanted to date other people..she said no.. After our two week break, I went over to her house and she was still acting distant. I'd hug her and she would kinda just pat me on the back...frustrated, I asked her why she was acting like this. We both got kinda upset again. I kept asking her if she wanted to just throw away everything we had. I talked about all of our memories together...she was crying at this point and I'll be honest I was too... She finally got the words out: "I need to be my own person" and "I need to be on my own for awhile". She also said "not forever". ...talkin to her since she still says she has hope..

Answer 1

only time can tell

Answer 2

you need to give her space that she needs. if you try to chase her you'll make her run futher. true love is more that if you can be happy on the fact that she is even if you don't have her. i think that she just needs to find her self, like you say because she proberly feels that her identity is the relationship. having a sence of 'me' will actually add to the relationship. you can suggest to see her once a fortnight or something, but concentrate more on the freindship side of the relationship, and more important, have fun, yeah its prolly hard right now, but if she can see that she can still have fun with you no matter how crap your relationship is then she'll stick with you in the long run. you have to remember that all couples experience a break-point. this is where you both have to decide by your actions where you want the relationship to go. Maybe you should talk to a mutal friend? it might at least help you get through it yourself. maybe use this as an chance to find the real you/.

Answer 3

I feel for you,even though i am much older,i been where you are..I don`t think its impossible for you to get back together but..I think you do need the break and she does need to find herselve,she young and although you`ve been her life for 18 months you left,and she was stuck there without you..hard for both of you,but you have a life and a whole new one,and she has to regain friends and still stick out the life she had before meeting you,i know she`s hurting and don` t think for minute shes not..but in a way she doing you a favor and you don`t even see it,shes trying to cut you loose so you can move on and she can get back a life that she has to live for a few years yet....This happened to me, but the man i loved was going off to war and he broke up with me because i was about to start college and he said you have a whole new life go and live it, and we`ll see what happens when i come back...I was crushed but as time went by i started living my life, i never fogot him and we rote for awhile but it got to the point where we just grew in so many different ways the letters stopped...That was many years ago,I still think of him and no he did me a favor for he never came back,but we never ever forget out first love..I do wish you luck but remember she is young and your lifes will change..Your on your way to a whole new life and have been where she is now,think of that and put yourselve in her place...But whatever happens remember she did it cause she cared and knew it would only hurt more as time went on...Luck to you both

Answer 4

I know from experience that she want s to explore new things..guys, parties, freedom..etc..
You may have a chance if.. you do the following.
1)Act cool about the whole thing..(girls hate whinning guys)
2)Act like you have really fun things going on yourself, just make up stuff if you don't actually have a house party to go to.. just pretend you do (girls like guys with stuff going on)
3)Also really do get some fun stuff to do.. In college you'll find new girls all the time.. And that will really make your gal come flying back... or at least jealous.
4) Never be mean to her.. but be the first one to get off the phone, be short in your conversations . Once in awhile if she calls don't answer and wait a few hours or day to call back..good time to throw in your cool thing to do story.
This will make her realize how much you are desirable and she will want you back.

Answer 5

You two seem like you've had the perfect relationship up until now. If she's young then it's normal for her to feel a little uncomfortable with you being in college. I know, I've been in the EXACT situation, except I was the one that wanted space. I eventually realized that she was the best thing in the world and I needed her in my life to be my own person.

If she loves you then she will realize that the person she needs to be is the person that's with you.

Answer 6

Just listen to her. If she needs space- give it to her. She may be adjusting to life w.o you...and it hurts when your not around. So giving her space makes it easier to adjust. If you push anything- you will just push her away.

Dont call her for a bit- let her come to you. Maybe email her a "thinking of you" ...but back off from your normal routine. She will figure it out soon enough and hopefully finds her way to you.
Remember YOU started a whole new college life w.o her..she may need to have a whole new high school life w.o you.

Answer 7

Well my friend i think we can relate. Well a long story short is mine said a similar thing but we are over 900 miles away. The best thing to do is let her have the space she needs. I know it does hurt to do this...but its what is best. If things were meant to be you two will meet again.

Answer 8

YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH THIS....
MY B/F IS OLDER AND MY PARENTS DONT APPROVE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP...
I HAVE MANAGED TO BE WITH HIM....
FOR A YEAR AND THREE MONTHS....
YOU TWO ARE LUCKY THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO SEE EACHOTHER....

YOU CAN GET BACK TOGETHER...
I HAVE....
EVENTHOUGH WE TOOK SOME "BREAKS" WE WOULD TALK ON THE PHONE EVERY NIGHT....
SO I THINK THAT THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU TWO....

DONT LET WHAT YOU REALLY LOVE GO.....
JUST LIKE THAT....

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 9

Oh wow... um... you can still get back together with her... just take it slow don't get mad frustrated exc. just go and see her act friendly to her and trust me she'll come to her sinces if she really does love you this happens ALOT no warries...