Can you please describe what it is like for you when your child is away from you at the other parents house?
What goes through your mind?
How do you go on with your day?
Do you hate it?
2006-12-12 16:10:13 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It's always hard; I love my kids to death and I know that I have to trust that my ex loves them just as much. We're in close contact as far as issues about the kids, so I think apart from missing them (particularly at bedtime) I'm also grateful for the extra time to catch up on chores and have a bit of down time.
2006-12-12 16:12:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a single mother, but I think I can try and answer your question. I have been with my stepson's father since before he (my stepson) was born.
His mother, at first, hated to be away, simply because she hated me, and the fact that my boyfriend wouldn't take her back.
She finally was able to accept that her son is in capable hands, and she does stuff like pretending to work (she's lazy, she doesn't really actually work), and chatting with her friends.
You will miss your child, and it will make you sad. But, you both made that child, and even if you can't live together, you both deserve to spend time with him or her.
2006-12-14 22:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by Bachman-ette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You start to think if it was really worth it. Then years will past and there will be part of your child's life that you will never see. There will be new families for the child and different stories to tell.
It's a feeling that the two parents will have to live with the rest of their lives.
2006-12-13 01:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to change how I looked at my kids. I realized I had to be a good steward towards them of their time with me. I do not own them they own themselves. Some agreement has to be made between you and your former mate on ethical and moral behaviour as I have found this to be the single greatest source of pain communicated to me from my children.
Do not tell them the new boy friend or girl friend is their new dad or mom. Preferably keeping the new relationship out of their sight until it's heading to the alter. Kids desire the ideal!
2006-12-13 00:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until my ex- got remarried, everything was great. We totally could communicate about everything. Now, she wants to be their "MoM"
and of course, thats never gonna happen, my kids are 9 and 6.
Constantly, When the kids are at their dads, I worry bc she has them alot when he works swing shift. (i don't know why when he is at work they can not be with me-bc the kids HATE staying with her.) but for now, this is how it has to be. I worry.
I go on with my day by occupying my day being busy, and never sitting still.
Absolutely, I do hate it.
(when we divorced, he was the best dad. He always put the kids first, always. Now that shes in their lives, he cannot communicate with me, and if I try communicating with her, she threatens to call the police, for harrassment???)
MY MAIN ADVICE...
no matter how wonderful the kids dad is, get full custody if at all possible. Let the child go to dads, whenever, and you still have control. Don't give your rights away like I did. I promise, Its not worth it. when a woman comes in their lives, everything changes.
2006-12-13 00:23:40 · answer #5 · answered by Alicia S 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I feel like a part of me is missing, emotional depression.
how is he doing? is he safe? is he being kept on a schedule? is he being left with just anyone? who is watching him while the father works? Is he learning as much from father as from me. I also used to wonder what they were telling him about me, but then I realized that it was just making me more crazy. So I pray to God that he is safe and getting the love and attention that he needs. I realized that I still have to continue on with my life and make sure that when he returns I am able to provide for him with what I need. If you keep dwelling on them being away it will make you go NUTS!!!!! Also making sure that his room is adjusted to things he likes including kepping a picture of your ex in it for them, so that he knows when he comes home it is still okay to miss daddy.
I absolutely hate it, but if it is the courts decision you have to make the best of the situation and remember it is always about the child and not your ex-spouse.
2006-12-13 01:54:39 · answer #6 · answered by xSublimeSorrowx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know she is safe and well cared for but its a parent instinct to protect your child and how can you do that when the so far away ? i know I feel really down when my daughter is at her mom's house.
2006-12-14 01:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by yellowno2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take it you are new at this. Yes, Yes and Yes. You hate it, you worry, you wonder and you Waite. But as all things in life it does get easier. Try to find something to occupy your time and your mind. Join a gym, take up golf, find something positive to do with your time it will help.
2006-12-13 00:15:48 · answer #8 · answered by Jan J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋