If you had a 19 year old in college, struggling with his own finances of paying car payments, insurance, student loan bills, cell phone... completely financially independent, responsible, young adult... would you bring him into your financial situation? would you ever even think to ask him for money, when you're well aware that he struggles just as much as you? Keep in mind, you, the parent, sometimes go on shopping extravaganzas and your credit card debts frmo the past are high. would you burden him with your finances when he's done so well for himself? Would you even consider using your CHILD as a means of paying the bills?
2006-12-12 15:58:30 · 17 answers · asked by Nini01 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If really depends. If I had enough money to go on shopping sprees, no, I would not ask for money. I would not want to stress his/her financial situation and put education in jeopardy.
2006-12-12 16:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by dolly 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NEVER! The question made me cringe! A parent with a 19 year old who is financially independent should be very thankful, as most 19 year olds aren't totally independent yet. If the parent can't stop spending money, don't burden an otherwise successful young adult with those issues.
2006-12-12 16:07:54 · answer #2 · answered by irish_giant 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Financial responsibility is one of the hardest things to learn...there are so many easy ways and enticing ads. Once your child becomes financially independent a parent knows they have been successful in seeing their child become an adult.
Any parent that would jeopardize that independence is simply selfish unless (excluding the shopping extravaganzas) their financial sinking is due to getting that child through everything required to help them become self-sufficient and then only in an unforeseen emergency.
It's one thing to ask, it's another to demand and it's over the top to make it seem their "duty" to fork it over and place a guilt trip. It's time for the parent to grow up.
2006-12-12 16:18:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, asking your child for money places them in tough spot. I grew up in a family like this and it was rough for me. I have never and will never ask my kids for money, no matter how tight things get. I don't know about those "shopping sprees" you mentioned, but growing up it was just my mom, my sister and i. The divorce was rough and left my family with enough for clothes on our backs and low-level housing. When i was 16 or 17 i had a decent job and was fairly financially independent...and my mom would occasionally ask me to borrow money for some bills to not make late payments....if i had it, i'd let her have it. why not? she always paid me back and as the oldest child of a single parent household, i would do anything to help my family. now 10 years and 2 kids later, i would never ask my children for money, but i do not regret helping my family survive.
2006-12-12 16:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by Bill 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!
I have had many friends, that this has happened to, and quiet frankly, if you are not disabled, drawing a nothing check and can't pay your bills, how could you even consider it?
During High School, a buddy of mine, worked 3-11 at our nursing home after he had been at school all day, played football, etc.
His parents both were disabled. He had to help with the bills, and if he wanted the extras, he had to do it. the car, girlfriend expenses, football, who knows what else?
U just tread water, or drown on your own, don't take him down with you.
2006-12-12 16:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by Alicia S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an addict looking to score your favorite drug.... and now you are looking at your child as the dealer!
Hopefully the above is hypothetical.
If not, the parent involved needs help from the child (or anyone, including themselves) cleaning up their addiction. I would recommend Financial Peace University, which is being taught in a church or community center near you. Go to www.daveramsey.com to find out how to curb the addiction, and become a parent willing to give, rather than take.
2006-12-12 16:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOOO! I would absolutely NEVER ask my kid for money.
I've been there kiddo. I was the struggling 19 year old, doing my best to get through school and work my way up. You've got to help the little you can just to keep the peace BUT DO NOT GIVE MONEY YOU DON'T HAVE!!!! you will enable her to keep doing stupid things with money and make yourself a target when you are succesful.
2006-12-12 16:15:48 · answer #7 · answered by carolinagal75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the handicapped mother of four children 23,21,and 2 are 20, at this time two are in college, one is a mother of two my grand children. Hubby is on lay off and comp screwed him out of two weeks pay! We are in financial trouble to say the least do we ask the kids for money? Not on your life! I will say that I have the grand kids here from morning till late at night I don't charge for baby sitting but she does take me to the store and buys food for me to cook for the kids. She does not pay for it all but the kids have to eat and she says that I should not have to pay for everything because we watch the kids for free....... that is as far as it goes though! No parents should not ask for money!
2006-12-12 16:10:48 · answer #8 · answered by Scooter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would NEVER do that. No matter how old my kids are I feel it's my job to take care of them. But sad to say I have seen some parents ask their kids for money even when their kids have a family of their own to support. I think BUM is the word!
2006-12-12 16:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by honeybear 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I could & would never ask my child for money! My mother in law asks my husband for a thousand her & there (at least 6 to 8 times per year) we are a young family, have some in savinngs but I have been apalued that she asks when she shops like mad...more than I do by far. We put our foot down, she now rarely calls, good mom huh?
2006-12-12 16:02:22 · answer #10 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋