Have any of you ever felt that you were a huge disappointment to your family?

Question

I mean, most of you probably don't care either way but, I just always feel so different from everyone in my family..... My kin tests me out frequently to see what I'm capable of but I always fail everything... No matter what I try, I just don't meet their expectations..... They're never happy with whatever I do.... Even my cousins are distant towards me..... What should I do?

I mean, most of you probably don't care either way but, I just always feel so different from everyone in my family..... My kin tests me out frequently to see what I'm capable of but I always fail everything... No matter what I try, I just don't meet their expectations..... They're never happy with whatever I do.... Even my cousins are distant towards me..... What should I do? Oh and just so you know, I'm still a teenager..........

Answer 1

I have felt that way about my family at times. My mother was very critical and constantly compared us to one another or us to our friends. My siblings and I are not close, either are my cousins.
If you are old enough to be on your own, you simply have to make new friends and have them as your support system. You will always have your family and need to try and get along with them and be respectful and friendly, but you need other people to support you and see you through your ups and downs, since they do not.
Everyone needs someone to cheer them on or help them through difficult times, as well as celebrating the successes and triumphs. It is sad we can not all have this from our families, but we get it where we can. You are capable of making friends and finding others who can be your support network. Good luck!

Answer 2

Hey your avatar's cute.... so don't despair

I've traveled throughout Asia and I couldn't tell you some families can be pretty tough on their kids.

Don't worry about meeting their expectations concentrate on your expectations. Hey your avatar changed names…. was lonely one….. that sounds depressing I'm glad you changed it….Myst ……

Seriously I learned not to worry about everyone else. I concentrated on what I wanted to learn what I want to do. And I found myself doing things that other people that I thought were brave couldn't do. I became a publisher of a book, a successful business person, traveled around the world and I've met a lot of famous people.

I never went to college… I can barely spell (dyslexic)…. my father died when I was young… I was the only child…. I guess I could have plenty of things to be depressed about. Don’t let others get in the way of what you want to do. Focus on your goals. If you live to be a hundred years realize you only spend about 20% (20 years) with your parents and much less with other relation.

Your world is out there in 80%. Those are the people you've not met yet. Those are your partners, your new friends and people that will respect you and the people that will hold you dear. Go find them…. move forward to forget the idiots


If you turn into a lonely one again….. just e-mail me

Mark
Author GirlsTellAll

Answer 3

Myst...Let me guess you come from a strong asian family? Very tradtional I assume. Possibly Japanese? Anyway, these kind of expectations seem like over the top, overwhelming and discouraging. You family test you, its their way of trying to prepare you for the western world. Where everything is about testing and the only way to be on top is to push the limits. Even to the point of an almost self destructive level. The rest of your family sees that you are not holding up to the tests, and of course...your family talks behind your back, "She's just not smart enough or I don't understand what is wrong with her?" Instead of trying to understand you for who you are; they are trying to live there lives and placing their expectations on you. But why you may ask? It is usually the case of a couple of things "family pride" or because your parents may have felt less fortunate when they where young so they place a considerable amount of pressure on you. But they usually don't undertand times have changed. Things are faster, quicker, and extremely more demanding then they could every possibly imagine, and their added pressure practically breaks you. It always seems like nothing is ever enough, and no matter what you do, no matter how much you get they're always pushing you for more. But this mindset is inherently flawed. Think of it, here you are,..chasing your "parents dreams", you strive to satisify all there expectations and in the end of all the mental anguish and struggle, what are you left with Myst...? A sense of not knowing who you are, you sacrificed happiness for a sense of false pride and the satisfaction for the opinions of other that are not living your life in the cold empty nothingness that has become you life. You had lived your entire life in the blinded fast lane of wanting more and doing more that what you were honestly happy with.
So myst let them Struggle and be upset with you. The worst thing that you could possibly do is look dissapointed, depressed, deject or broken when you are around them or when they shut you out or speak down to you! Try your best in all that you do. If that doesn't satisfy them you hold your head up and and you put a smile on you face, be happy that you are doing it your way! The way that makes you happy. Speak proud, stand proud, be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished even if they don't recognize it. Get some of your own control back to your life, your own happiness not their idea of what they think it shoud be for you. When they see you shift like they they will get angry of course possibly resentful. But they will eventually learn to respect and they will have to learn to understand you better. Why would they? Because as they shut you out for not undertanding you start to shut them out, and their sense of false pride is not worth losing a daughter. Unless of course they hold their own pride over their own family which would be proof that that's not what you want to become. Lifes to short to destroy yourself with that mindset. Good luck Myst.

Answer 4

All the time. It's noticeable that my mother loves my brother greater than me. So I suppose like a big unhappiness to her. Pretty definite she thinks I'm a slut too. (Just since I did not inform her approximately a boyfriend, within the sixth grade, she's been like that.) It's no longer my fault I grew up, and it is not my fault she wasn't there while I used to be little, accordingly making me no longer love her. I'm just about a unhappiness to my mother and it is all her fault since she used to be there for my brother his whole existence however no longer me.

Answer 5

No, but my entire family is an absolute disappointment to me...do what I did, change your phone number and move...if you still live at home wait until you move out and don't tell them where...I'm now in a different state than my family and I have never felt better about it.

Answer 6

My mother takes every chance she gets to tell me I don't do anything right. I don't clean the house enough, I don't dress right, the kids have too much freedom, my husband doesn't provide the kind of life he should, etc. I could go on for hours. At some point, you reach a point where you just don't care anymore, I did.

Answer 7

Sounds like they're the ones with the problem, not you. Stop trying to please them, and start thinking about what makes YOU happy. Let them know how they make you feel, and tell them that you're over trying to please them. From now on, you want them to support you in all your decisions. Yeah, they're your family, you love them, and you want to make them happy. BUT, if they really care about you the way families should, them they'll accept you for who you are.

Answer 8

screw them. you will depress yourself if you live by their expectations and try to make them happy. carve your own way to succeeding. i'm a dissapointment in my family too. not at big as my brother...i'm more of the fallen from grace family member. just keep your head up and follow the beat of your own drum.

Answer 9

well you should tell them that you are your own perdon who does what she can and she is trying as hard as she can to do her best and i cant please everyone and anyone and i need to take care of myself also so ya.

Answer 10

sweetheart,dun try too hard..u will get more depressed..be your very self..just do whatever u think best..