i have been dating this guy for a month or two now and i really like him. he is so super nice and sweet to me. he even told me when i had spent the night at his house, that all i had to say was "no" if i didnt want him to touch me and he would be ok with that. he is the only guy that i have a high comfort lever with. im even ready to give my (V-Card to him) im a virgin. but he has alot of trust things to deal with. when he was 25 or 26 he had a wife for about a year and then he had to divorce her because he caught her with his best friend. i think that is why he does not want to be in a serious relationship. but i feel like if i am a virgin and i give my self to you, your going to be the only thing in life that i could ever need or want. i need advice?!?!?! what do i, do i think that i might love this guy i even think that i could spend the rest of my life with him...
2006-12-12 15:37:57 · 18 answers · asked by ald1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
plus he told me that he does not want a serious relationship. then i tlod him that i want him. then he told me to give him 6months to get rid of some of the things in his life so that he can make more time for me..
2006-12-12 16:21:26 · update #1
First let me say that if you are 19 and still a virgin you must have pretty strong convictions! Good for you!!
However time is definitely on your side here. Slow down! If you really care for this man and he for you then it will happen when the time is right for both of you. Please realize though that giving your virginity to this man doesn't mean he will be in love with you for it. I think that at the age of 33 he should be able to value the importance of your virginity. It should show him how much you think of him by being willing to share such a precious gift with him. However it doesn't gaurantee that he should feel obligated to love you for it.Sadly in today's society virginity isn't as valued as it should be. It seems too many men follow Usher's view and really do want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed!
Secondly,when I met my husband I was 20 and he was 31. We have been married mostly happily [everyone has difficult patches]for 17 years now.If you both are in a mature frame of mind and want primarily the same things out of life everything should be good to go!
Wishing you happiness in your life!
2006-12-12 16:06:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you and him need to have a talk about where you both see this relationship going. There is every chance that you will sleep with him and he will still not want to marry you. The wife story is a bit old and suss, they all say that. Honestly age can be difficult in marriage. When you are 23 and want to go clubbing and he is 37 and wants to watch the 730 report. It is also harder for an older partner to handle the younger ones immaturity long term. A 33 year old woman would be much more stable and life experienced for him.
2006-12-12 16:03:07 · answer #2 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally I would say no. 19 you still don't really know what you want or what's out there.
On the other hand my folks were 13 years apart and I've never seen 2 people care for each other so much. They were great together. But mom was 27 and dad was 40. I would live with him at most. Not marry. Wait a few years for marriage.
2006-12-12 15:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by Me2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, this was looking great until i got to the "he does not want a serious relationship" part. this is a massive warning sign. he's 33 and still bitter about something that happened when he was 26? another massive warning sign. here's what happens when guys say they don't want a serious relationship: you sleep with him, share your secrets with him, learn to trust him and rely on him, and all the while you are secretly hoping he has changed his mind about not wanting a serious relationship. then one day he suddenly dumps you. you ask him why and he says "i told you i didn't want a serious relationship". basically "i don't want a serious relationship" is a get-out-of-jail-free card.
even if he's a good guy, you need to wait until he decides he does want a serious relationship before you get together with him. and suggest he gets counselling: if he's still bitter about his marriage break-up 6 years later, he needs it.
2006-12-12 16:03:00 · answer #4 · answered by sally p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't work. You'll want to party and do fun stuff, and if hes 33 and he still wants to do that, then hes a loser.
Hes with you because you make him feel young. He'll eventully get tired of you because you just aren't as mature as he is. You don't have the expirences he does, you won't understand some of the things he has went though.
2006-12-12 15:47:19 · answer #5 · answered by amgarrison2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a thing wrong with it. I'm 16 years younger than my husband.
I'm his 3rd wife. He was married twice and divorced twice before me. We've been together 5 years and are very happy.
Go for it. Good Luck.
2006-12-12 15:42:24 · answer #6 · answered by txharleygirl1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey I am 41 and my last girlfriend was 19. She loved me so much she slept with my then best friend. Anyway, it is possible you love this guy because he can provide the emotional and financial security you want. I say go for it.
2006-12-12 15:45:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
DONT DO IT! most older guys go after younger girls because they know exactly what to say to them. a month is too soon to give it up. wait a few more months. if he still wants to be with you then he might be alright. but if he starts getting frustrated, its just because he thought you were young and easy. please, i've been their, dont do it. i was 17 with a 26 year old. he said all the right things. i gave it to him. (i wasnt a virgin though) then he wanted me to move in with him. then he started getting abusive and told me that i was nothing but a **** and threatened me and my family. i ended up having to get a restraining order. please dont do it. thats too much pain to go through
2006-12-12 15:44:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nawww girl wait awhile...you really want to give that to a 33 yr old guy. You sure he is not with you for the wrong reasons...that your younger and he can mold you into what he wants?_
2006-12-12 15:42:16 · answer #9 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is too old for you and you are too young for him. He needs to find some one his own age. I bet he is a real control freek. Watch and see, I bet. Keep that V-card, and see how long he hangs around. dont spend the night.
2006-12-12 15:41:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋