i would go home for christmas to see them but my sister said she wont do anything with me cause i wont let her compare herself to me. if i except it she will. i love my mom i dont want to go home anymore but i am afraid my mom will be crushed.
2006-12-12 15:22:57 · 12 answers · asked by sophie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If your grown up enough to live away from home then you should be grown up enough to ignore your sister. If you really do want to go except for the way your sister acts then go see your Mom and ignore your sister. If you really don't want to go home then don't use your sister as an excuse. You should be doing what you do for yourself, not for others.
2006-12-12 15:30:25 · answer #1 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I read both parts of your f'd up family as you said.
Isn't it a shame you can change your friends but you can't change your family.
Christmas is a time for forgiveness, a time for sharing, share your feelings with your family, tell your sister she is beautiful in her own way and she does not need to compare herself to you, she has her own life and if she wants to be successful she will have to go it alone.
Your mum should understand where you are coming from, there is no reason to treat you any different, tell her how you feel, that you love her.
Alternatively tell your family that unless they are willing to treat you the same and have their own life and be obsessed with yours that you will not be coming home for christmas, but spending it in your own home where you know there is love.
Whatever you decide best of luck and have a merry christmas and an even better new year.
2006-12-12 15:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Mary - I answered your first part and I am afraid the part 2 piece of advice is the same - Dont go. And you know why because when your family are disfunctional ( and I have a helluva of a disfunctional family) there is nothing but disappointment. I think I know what she said . If I cant be myself and say what I want (the comparing herself and you) then dont come no one will tell me what I am going to say................................... I have heard this a thousand times in different guises and at the end of the day its truly nausiating. So my best and most sincere advice is just dont bother - its expensive travelling and tiring and then to go off to relatives who are nasty and not very logical - you would be better doing something with your husband and his family. as for loving them - you have feelings for them because they are related to you but lets face it if you were not related to them would you associate with them???
probably not and I feel the same about my family. So you have feelings for them based on blood ties but you dont like their behaviour - send them a card wishing them best and do something nice for you and your husband and dont get sucked into the whole thing.
For the record I have folks who I have fought with for 20 years and recently I have changed my number and not bothered with them - and you know what I feel enlightened - like a huge sack full of **** has been taken off my shoulders. Its actually very enlightening to just say "enough is enough - no more I am not taking this - stop I am not being the whipping girl any more!!!! Try it - the feeling is very liberating. All the best
2006-12-12 17:37:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is good to be selfish Mary. Sometimes you need to cut loose to survive. Don't let your disfunctional family bring you down.. If your mom loves you, she could always come and visit you.
Why don't you ask her.. if she refuses, then go on with your life and husband and send her a Christmas card saying thinking of you. Then relax and forget about the misery it would cause you to visit with them.
All this indecision must also be telling on your husband.. he will probably be unhappy because you are unhappy.. try spending this Christmas away from your family.. phone them on Christmas day if necessary.. but above all put yourself and your husband first.. Afterall.. they don't care about hurting you..
You will always love your mom, and can continue to do that.. from afar..
Hope this helps..
2006-12-12 19:44:07 · answer #4 · answered by bty704613 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mary, Go home, do not deprive your mum of your company or yourself of seeing your mum.
Tell your sister to quit being a little nutter and go for it. The problem is your sister, sounds like, not your's.
Charles "That Cheeky Lad"
In spite of it all...make the best of it and have A Wicked Happy Christmas.
And happy Christmas to everyone else!
Peace and prosperity to all!
2006-12-12 16:45:41 · answer #5 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO visit your mom for christmas dont hold it against her just because of your sister. She will get over w/e it is when you come home. Christmas is a time of joy and happiness your mom deserves it. Go home and be with her sweetie!!!!
2006-12-12 15:27:51 · answer #6 · answered by munchkin0430 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So go home and be with your mom. If your sister can't do such a simple request, then ignore her but don't let your mom suffer because of it.
2006-12-12 15:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just read your other question.
Why would you want to subject yourself to lies and meanness? You said in the other one that you won't even have a bed to sleep in.
If I were you, I'd let them come to YOU, so you're not miserable, wishing you were back home and that you'd never gone to your mother's. I know it's family, but sometimes it's better to just remove yourself from it.
2006-12-12 15:31:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See part 1??
2006-12-12 15:25:31 · answer #9 · answered by The LIZARD of OG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see mom, ignore sister...She says something just smile...
2006-12-12 15:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋