i dont believe in house rules everyone else has them i dont feel its needed am i wrong? i feel if there is good communication between parents n kids .house rules shouldnt be used what does anyone feel ? am i the only one who feels like this?
2006-12-12 14:53:55 · 8 answers · asked by ? 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
you don't have to have house rules. But with smaller kids you need to define limits and stick to them consistently. They will constantly try to push the limits. If you do not impose any limits then you have unruly children. Communication with children works for older children - more than 5 years.
2006-12-19 18:45:46 · answer #1 · answered by MJ121 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Our house rules are in place as a safety issue. For example there is no running, jumping on furniture, etc. These are rules for a reason. There is a potential for someone to get hurt. We also don't wear shoes in the house but that is just good common sense. It is gross, we live in Japan and we actually had to sign on our lease that we wouldn't wear shoes in the house.
Other than that we really don't have house rules. There isn't a posted list of what can or can't be done. The kids know what is expected of them.
2006-12-12 23:03:25 · answer #2 · answered by Amelia 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As it was explained to me "house rules" are rules you can impose without making it a personal thing between you and the child. If the "house rule" says no slamming doors you can enforce it without "picking on" the child, for example.
It's a okay to have rules, it doesn't mean you have to constantly punish the child. Just let them know what's expected of them.
2006-12-12 22:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am one of the ones that believe in house rules, however...not JUST for the obvious reasons. I feel that they help prepare that child for the outside world. There are rules everywhere you go and I believe it is important for a child to learn about rules and consequences. It is our job as parents to prepare our kids for the "real world."
2006-12-13 14:22:20 · answer #4 · answered by Momof3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't *have* to have "house rules".
Some parents have them just because that way, they don't have to single out one kid as being "wrong".
Others like them because it's a simple way to state expectations, with no need for long drawn-out discussions about why this is wrong in such-and-such case, but not in this-other-hypothetical case (once they're teens).
My mother liked them because then my father had to follow them, too! (One of hers was "put the toilet seat back down".)
I agree with your belief that it's really communication that's important. See, "house rules" are a form of communication to most people. They don't have debates with their children about the moral and emotional ramifications of slamming doors. They like to state things simply and quickly, without complicating things beyond a young child's comprehension.
On the other hand, valuing expressive communication can be a good tactic, too. You do have to be careful when explaining things to a young child, though, because things can get too complicated. You also have to be careful with teens, because things can degenerate into an argument. But it can be valuable. Telling a child not to slam doors does nothing to encourage his understanding and control of his emotions. Explaining that you understand his frustration but still don't accept the slamming (because it's not constructive, and offering alternative *acceptable* behaviors) does.
I can see both sides. If, despite all your best efforts, you end up with an unruly child who doesn't listen to a thing you say, then it's time to implement "house rules". I think it's fine to try direct communication first if that's what you like. As long as you're sure you can recognize the proper time to start having set "rules", when (if?) things get out of control, I see nothing wrong with trying another method first. But even if you end up desperate, with house rules left and right, it's still important to explain *why* you do those things (or don't do them) and *why* they're important to your family's values.
2006-12-12 23:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lack of house rules regardless of how good you think communication is gets you a out of control teen. Children & teens need rules, stabilty, structure or they will never thrive on their own, You are their teacher & mother not their best friend
2006-12-12 23:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We don't have house rules. It's kind of a common sense thing, not really something that needs to be told outright.
2006-12-12 23:18:40 · answer #7 · answered by lindsaylaurie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
HOW OLD ARE YOU? WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR OWN HOUSE AND CHILDREN YOU CAN ESTABLISH HOUSE RULES YOURSELF. IT WORKED FOR ME.
GOD BLESS
2006-12-12 23:08:14 · answer #8 · answered by thewindowman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋