We have known each other for over a year and curently live together, we have had a few disagreements but nothing serious. We are moving back to her home country in a year or so and she wants to go live in her house. I have concerns about this as it will be her home and I will feel uneasy and want us to get a new place. This feeling is making me nervous and I just wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and can advise me.
Thanks
2006-12-12 14:42:52 · 13 answers · asked by me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Why not put your name of the papers for the house...maybe remodel and make it your new house together_
2006-12-12 14:45:48 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times practical considerations take president over our wants. Is it going to be easy to get something equal to her house in that country at todays prices? If not be wise and live in her house, but make it your new home together. Redecorate as much as you can, especially the bedroom and have a place that is just yours a den an attic room, a well planned corner or transformed closet can be enough to give you some personal space if you still feel the need to have a "me" place. good luck
2006-12-12 14:51:00 · answer #2 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always good to start "fresh" but not always economical or practical. Why don't you both sit down and talk about what plans and changes you'd like to make to her place to make it feel more like a "home" to both of you....
Stability is the key here I think, and you will be taken out of your comfort zone to go and forge a new life, with a new wife, in a new country... Hopefully, she can be the stabilizing force in all this "newness" and you should try to take everything in as a new life experience and go with the flow!! Once you are rooted in your new life, you will feel more secure....
Good luck and many blessings..
2006-12-12 14:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand. The house I will be moving in to with my husband is literally the house he has lived in since he was 5. He purchased it from his parents for literally half of what it appraised for, so Im very greatful about the low monthly payment and all, but I can't shake the feeling that its always gonna be HIS house. His parents have moved to another state, and I have completely redecorated everything, it really looks nothing like it did, but Its still HIS house. I'm just hoping its nerves about moving outta my parents house and being homesick, I truly love and adore him, want to marry him and be married to him with every ounce of my being, but I kinda do wish the being married thing was gonna be under another roof! Oh well, we can't turn away from our great deal, so I guess I will just have to reinerate daily that its my house too, but long story short, I get where you are coming from. Good luck and congrats!
2006-12-13 03:45:37 · answer #4 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-husband and I just got back together, and I moved into his house.
We looked for something together, but everything was too expensive.
Where you live shouldn't matter, it's how you feel about each other.
If she has a good, stable home, and she wants to share it with you, feel honored.
I agree with those that say you should re-decorate. That's a great idea!
But instead of putting yourselves into debt, and causing more unnecessary stress, concentrate on making your lives easier, not harder.
I'm a couple of years older that you, and I know, that at our age, we can't afford to start over.
2006-12-16 02:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by freakyforjesus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you're living here in your house, and that's good enough for you, but to live in her house isn't? She should feel less bothered about living in your house? You're no lesser a man you know if the house is owned by the woman. Come on out of the dark ages and live a little!!
If you were both in agreement over it, then it probably is a good idea to get a 'new' place, if only for the sake of the newness of everything, but don't feel less of yourself for it. That doesn't even show your wife to be any respect.
2006-12-12 14:50:21 · answer #6 · answered by dazedandconfused 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes i was, but you say her country, meaning leaving the u.s.?? tell us more dude. anyway, no way do you side all the way with her. My wifes family told me i could live in their house to save more money for my own, and i said, if your marrying me, we arent' living in your fathers house, if that's what you want, your on your own. So we got our own house. If you want to move to her country, you need to tell her you will feel more like a man if you two lived together, this family crap is immature. No offense, but any woman who wants to live with her family is immature in my book. If she disagrees, she's wrong man, and don't give in, youll regret it later, in the end she should if she's a real woman respect you more. Dude nothing, trust me nothing good comes out of living with in-laws. Seems like she's calling the shots. If you don't want to move, talk to her, don't regret it later.
merry xmas
2006-12-12 21:07:43 · answer #7 · answered by godzillasagoodman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you plan on being married then you should be able to talk with her about this and agree on something. If it makes you that nervous or uneasy then talk it over with her and she should be able to understand.
2006-12-12 16:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by kelley2387 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk things over before you get married and iron out all the details. God Bless and Congradulations on your wedding.
2006-12-12 16:01:17 · answer #9 · answered by Janice 10 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh ,get over yourself- you are embarking on the best adventure of your life with the love of your life- can't you " bend with the wind" & quit being so paranoid. If my hubby had a chance to live in his former house- i would encourage him to jump at the chance- maybe you are not ready for marriage.
2006-12-12 14:55:03 · answer #10 · answered by jyone scotani 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋