So I've been dating this guy off and on for about 3 years. Just recently he notified me that he has a 6 month old daughter. And that he got the girl pregnant on one of our "off" periods. The girl is fine with caring for the child and he wants to be with me over her. But is he worth it for me? Should I just forgive and forget even though he has a daughter?
2006-12-12 14:01:36 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hmmm.. thats a pretty big secret to haave kept from someone he's dating, even if its been on and off. You can only imagine what else he's keeping from you. Move on sweetie to someone who;s more upfront
2006-12-12 14:06:26 · answer #1 · answered by Foss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must ask yourself is he worth it? You said yourself during one of your 'off periods'. Was there an understanding that you all would remain faithful to each other or date other people. If you all were 'off' and not seeing each other then it should not matter. You cannot be mad at him if you all were not together, same as if it were you. You can't expect someone to "wait" until the other is ready or whatever the case may be. Seems like you have nothing to 'forgive'. You didn't say he cheated on you, so forget about it. There are some left out details. Did he even know that girl was pregnant? How long did he know? Was it a surprise to him? etc., If you feel pretty good about the guy, then just talk to him and tell him. Ask if the daughter can come around for a while and get to know her too, and the mother. Yes I said the mother too. Not all women fight each other. If you are going to be together then you all need to meet each other and get along.
2006-12-12 22:10:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ultimately have to make that decision based on how much you love him and how your relationship is now. It was during an off period, so he wasn't with you at the time. If you agreed not to see other people, he actually lied to you and you need to consider that. If you were seeing other people, then you really can't be mad at him. The other issue is he honestly needs to take responsibility and be there for his child. If he doesn't, he could do the same to you. If you are serious enough to want to marry this guy,are you ready to be a stepmom? You are going to have to accept this child into your life.
2006-12-12 22:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by floridagirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know the answer to this deep down. Sometimes, we make mistakes and have kids with someone we really don't love, at least not the kind of love that we all dream about, and few achieve. All I can say is, when you guys were broke up, he was a free man, and did you honestly think he would be celibate? You know how to count, is what he is saying ringing true?
2006-12-12 22:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by whydiduaskthis? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did he not tell you sooner? Are there other things he has failed to tell you?
On the otherhand, if you two were not together when he got the other girl pregnant, stuff like that happens sometimes.
You need to be aware though, that baby will be his forever, even if you two have children together, and the babies mother and your boyfriend will have to have some contact with one another the rest of their lives. Can you handle it? Is he worth it? How much do you love him?
2006-12-12 22:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by loveseat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he is faithful to you why not? Just because he has a child doesn't mean he isn't a good person! Just remember that you DONT have to take care of the baby! If you really like him then why not date him?
2006-12-12 22:08:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it's off and on, it's not worth it. How could you ever live a normal life like that? And the fact that he had a daughter and didn't tell you for that long..........forget about him.
2006-12-12 22:05:22 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow! that guy is messed up! i think you should dump him... what he did was totally wrong. he should have told you a long time ago. think about it if he really loved you he wouldnt even have considered cheating on you and not only that but people that are or were in love cant just forget about someone over night.
2006-12-12 22:08:52 · answer #8 · answered by Madison 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgive and keep dating him don't be down just cause he has a 6 mounth old daughter it dosen't mean he hates you he just wants to be honest with u that how love is k luck.
2006-12-12 22:07:19 · answer #9 · answered by matthew w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He ain't even worth a quarter of your hair even less drop him off gurl he aint worth it might as well slap him and walk away w/out loooking back! haha trust me he aint even worth a single dime. a fly is worth more
2006-12-12 22:08:09 · answer #10 · answered by angel_baby_101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋