My stepfather is always yelling at me and being rude to me. I have a younger brother and my stepfather treates him like gold and me like trash. I just don't get it. He is always yelling and giving me an attitude when most of the time I am not doing anything wrong. I am 19 years old and when I tell my mom that I am going to move out when I get the money, she gives me the cold shoulder. I explain to her that it is because of my stepfather but she says I am wrong. She is always defending him and pretty much saying that he is always right. What can I do? I don't know how much more I can take before I explode. I mean, whenever my brother does something wrong, my stepfather doesn't care but the second I do something wrong, I really get it. Also, like when we have bottles of soda in the house, my stepfather says that I can't drink out of them and then put them in the fridge, but my brother can. I just don't get it. Please help me out. What can I do? Thanks to all that respond.
2006-12-12 13:29:18 · 20 answers · asked by Justine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My brother is 13 years old. Its like, he misbehaves all the time but never gets punished, however, when I do something wrong, I get punished big time. I just don't know why my stepfather treates him better than me. I want to move out, but I am scared to be out on my own. Plus, I don't want to hurt my mom but my mom doesn't understand that I am being hurt just being here and tolerating the bulls**t from my stepfather.
2006-12-12 13:32:23 · update #1
I have been dealing with all this bulls**t for about 10 years now. Its really hard to do it.
2006-12-12 13:39:56 · update #2
What an ASSHOLE! Tell him to go screw himself and just don't even pay him any attention until you get enough money to move out. I've been in that situation, and I finally just blew up and cussed his sorry *** out and then starting ignoring him. It wasn't quite as bad after that, and then I left. Your mother is SO wrong for taking his side, especially when it's so obvious he's picking on just you like with the soda bottles. How stupid!!! She should care about her daughter more than some worthless jerkoff and if she won't act like it, then screw her too. She'll realize how wrong she is eventually. I really hope you can move out SOON! Good luck honey.
2006-12-12 13:36:43 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From what you say, I can see that you were 9 and your brother was 3 when your mother and step-father got together. You were at an age where bringing in a step-father was bound to cause problems. The two of you got into a destructive relationship right away. And it was probably both your faults, sorry. Your brother, on the other hand, was very young when they got together and doesn't remember it being any other way. His relationship with the step-dad has progressed in a better way for that reason. AT this point, you and your step-dad are locked into a bad way of relating to each other. You both expect the other one to do or say something negative and so you react negatively to each other.
You need to decide whether or not you have other options regarding living arrangements. This would depend on whether or not you are still in school, who's paying your expenses - that sort of thing. If you have somewhere to go, maybe it's time. If not, maybe you can approach your step-dad and tell him what i just said about the relationship getting off to a bad start and never improving. Perhaps if you make the first move he'll be willing to work with you. And on that drinking from the soda bottle in the fridge - that's disgusting. Neither you nor your brother should do it, and frankly, you're older and should know better.
2006-12-12 21:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by PDY 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your stepfather is immature and plays favorites. Too bad for him since he's an adult and should know better.
You're an adult too. If you want peace in your home, it's time for you to move out and make a home for yourself. If you're mom gives you the cold shoulder and continues to defend your stepfather, then it sounds like their a match made in immature heaven!
I speak from experience. There's nothing better than coming home to a place that has your name on the lease, is paid for by money you earn on your own, with a fridge full of YOUR sodas that YOU can drink any time you want. It'll be tough at first, but take nothing from them.
Leave the drama behind and start living your life on your terms.
Good luck.
2006-12-12 13:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, it's time to get serious about moving. You are an adult now, and it doesn't look like your mom has your back on this. Don't subject yourself to this nonsense. Start saving your money. The sooner you do the happier you will be. Some situations, don't have a solution. I'm assuming you've already tried talking calmly to him, so moving out on your own, or with another relative may be a better choice than subjecting yourself to his anger. Good luck to you.
2006-12-12 13:33:33 · answer #4 · answered by creole woman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but you've got a real piece of work as a stepfather. I cannot believe your mom isn't admitting what's going on and tell him to back off. You do need to get away from home before your spirit is broken. How about you and a couple of friends find an apartment together. I wish you luck!!!!!
2006-12-12 13:32:59 · answer #5 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need more help than we can offer. Please see a counsellor or talk to a relative. Your mom is not helping by saying he is always right. We are not getting two sides of this story but your step dad should never be rude to you. He sounds like a jerk. If you are behaving properly and he is always rude, that is almost mental cruelty. You don't deserve that. He must have a low opinion of himself if he has to treat you like dirt to feel good. Get some help from a neutral acquaintance. Good luck Dear.
2006-12-12 13:40:35 · answer #6 · answered by CLAUDE D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really I think you only have a few options.
1) It's time to have a heart to heart with your step father. Don't attack him, just talk to him. Try to get to know him, then tell him you want to work with him and not against him. You both love your Mom and you want to make this relationship work for both your sakes.
2) Move out now.
3) Talk to your mom and figure out the best way to get along with your step dad.
Good luck.
2006-12-12 13:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry sounds like your stepfather is an ***!!!!!try to stay away from him as much as possible until you are able to move out on your own, I'm sorry you mom isn't more supportive.
2006-12-12 13:34:17 · answer #8 · answered by Laura P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sooo sorry for the situation you are in.
keep this in mind.
the best revenge is to have a good life.
I'm assuming that the money you are referring to is some kind of money from your father?
take the money and use it WISELY!!!
live a good life and be happy.
you are 19 and are capable of being on your own.
if your mom comes around or not is of no importance if you are living a good life.
2006-12-12 13:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are 19,, go forth and make your own way in the world,, you are not saying what you are doing except the soda,, that makes your step father yell at you,,, my steps kids ruined my carpet by spilling on it and eating and spilling on it,, also spit snot on the walls in their rooms etc.
but at 19,, you are old enough to move out and even join the military and get a education and money
2006-12-12 13:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋