What punishment can you give to a nine year old girl who lies all of the time. I tried taking things away but

Question

it doesn't work, she continues to lie. She lies to your face even when she knows that you know the truth.

Answer 1

spank her. you should have done it a long time ago.

Answer 2

My nine year old girl does the same thing and it drives me absolutely bonkers!!! I have tried the lectures, taking things away, and I even told her this morning...she lied about being late to school (she wasn't) I had taken her to school instead of the bus and she told me she had a late slip. When I said I would check with the office she recanted her story. I told her I wouldn't punish her because she told me the truth, but I also asked her how she would feel if I told her teacher and her friends parents that she likes to lie. I asked her if she thought her life would be different if those outside the family knew she lied. Of course I got the "I don't know" answer. Pressing it further I finally got her to admit she probably wouldn't have a social life! I am at my wits end too. I don't have an answer for you but, I wanted to let you know you are not alone. I think I might get a book about the pathology of liars and see if I can get to the reasons behind it. Is your daughter extremely smart??? I often wonder if my daughter is just trying to see if she can outsmart me. Good Luck!

Answer 3

I agree with the idea of checking up on her with every little thing she says, and keep mentioning that you don't trust her.

An important aspect to parenting that most don't focus enough on is reward for good behavior. Reward works a lot better than punishment. Make sure you take the time to point out the times she does tell the truth and that you appreciate it.

Your punishment may not be working because maybe it isn't harsh enough or you aren't sticking to the terms you originally set for it. I would keep on with the punishments though and make sure they are appropriate.

Another important thing to consider is that pathological lying can be a symptom of something much more serious. I would take her to a child psychologist if this continues after trying these new tactics for a month or two. good luck!

Answer 4

Just be consistent in your punishments. She will eventually get tired of always being in trouble. Calmly ask her to go with you to her room and explain to her that the lying is going to stop right now. Make her write a letter explaining why she lies. Don't let her off the hook, have her write a 30 word paragraph on why she is lying. if she says I don't know why, then say stay in your room until you figure it out. When she is finished check it and be really strict, if it does not meet your expectations say this is a good start but you need to tell me more. Don't stay in the room with her at all, this is her own project and she does not deserve your attention while she is doing it, Make her think and not want to lie again. Do this every time she lies and I bet it will stop very fast. You have to be firm and consistent and she has to do it with no conversation with anyone. That will make her think.

Answer 5

I always started with the story of the little boy who cried wolf.... and ended with, "I know you are not telling me the truth right now and that hurts me a lot. I wish you trusted me enough to tell the truth because now I cannot believe what you say anymore." The kicker though is following it up with a good week of, "Well thats what you say, but I am sorry, I can not trust what you say and you will have to do it this way instead" Its kinda like grounding, and TV restrictions, etc, but with a good twist.

Answer 6

@ 9 years old, she knows better to be lying. The punishment in our home when our children know better is a spanking. Don't let this behaivor slide. Lying weather over little things or big, is a huge no-no with us. As for the spanking, If you don't make is a bad experience don't bother doing them. I would say make sure to pull down pants and panties, place them over your laps, and give them at least a dozen or more good sharp stinging spanks to the bottom. It's OK for children to be crying hard after a good spanking, that's the way it's suppose to be.

Answer 7

my son went through this thought we was pathological took him to therapist nothing worked so one night me and my husband came up with a lie (about ourselves no need to harm anyone else) and when we finally told our son that it was a big lie he was really hurt and then we let him know that was how we felt when he lied to us he has not lied sense than learned his lesson really well, and even if it gets him in trouble now he knows the trouble will be less because he told the truth, don't lie about anything scary like health issues.its kind of like biting the biter good luck

Answer 8

The problem is you are consentrating on punishment rather than discipline. Discipline should have been started years ago with her EARNING priveliges such as televisin watching video games, etc. It's a little late to start disciplining now. Also part of it might be hormonal since she is probably going through early puberty as well.

Answer 9

I tell my kid that I can't trust her anymore. I check up on everything. Did you brush your teeth? yes? Let me chek if your toothbrush is wet? Everything she says, I double check and don't believe. It makes her feel bad, I check if she put her laundry away, every time she tells me something I double check. And when I catch her lying, I assign her really big chores for her as a punishment. After awhile she starts asking when i will trust her again.... Mine is 7. It works pretty good.

Answer 10

You could always give her a taste of her own medicine.
"Hey, Mom, why aren't you taking me to McDonalds like you said?"
"Because I lied. We're going home for liver and onions."

Answer 11

You don't punish her, you seek out professional help not only for her but for the entire family as well to see what's troubling her so much that she feels compelled to lie. There is definitely some underlying anger and passive/aggressive patterns driving this behavior.