My bf of 2 years seems to be very thoughtless. He has been busy for the past 2 weeks writing finals for university. We don't live together but he's been spending almost every night at my place studying - but that all he does. I don't bother him, I just do my chores and housework. I've even been cooking meals for him and asking for nothing in return. He just wrote his last final today so I was finally looking forward to spending some "quality" time together and maybe getting intimate, which is something we haven't done in awhile. He calls me tonight & informs me he is going out to relax with his friends, watch a game and have some drinks. Normally that is not a problem for me as I am quite aware that I am not his mother, but honestly, that's not the way I believe you should treat someone who has just stood by you to help you prepare and get through your finals and in turn you choose to "celebrate" with your friends instead of your girlfriend. Am I being irrational?
2006-12-12 12:33:42 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes its thoughtless but he probably doesnt even realize it. I think most men depend on their girlfreinds to be endlessly understanding. Especially since you seem to take such good care of him and have been so supportive. Hes probably just blowing off some steam from all the stress and wants to get drunk and forget about all the finals anxiety. You might mention to him in a polite way when the time is right that it hurt your feelings. If hes apologetic then have him make it up to you. Trust me i know. My boyfreinds vice is motorcycles and it ticks me off to no end when I think Im going to see him and he runs off with the boys. I only KNOW I will see him when its raining. At least you know who he is with and its harmless. could be worse.
I hate to make gender based generalizations but men just don't get it sometimes unless you slap them in the head with a frying pan. Good luck.
2006-12-12 12:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by chcknbizkit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. He's probably like me, really tired and just dying to get outside for a bit. Although, i've still got a few more finals to take. Just relax. Tell him how you feel and I'm sure he'll apologize and make it up to you. Nothing beats a girlfriend, but there are just certain things and certain times in which, a person just has to be with some good friends after a week of exhaustive finals. For example, don't you have times when you just have to be with your girl friends for a bit? Talk to them, shop with them, laugh with them? --I'm sure that it's a yes. So, this is Definitely his time. People have different ways of relieving stress sometimes, and perhaps this may just be what he really needs right now. Although I'm sure he's very appreciative of what you've done for him, you also have to got let him know when you expect to spend time with him and when you both will need your space as well. Communicate with him. Your relationship will last longer.
2006-12-12 21:04:42 · answer #2 · answered by haithere_us 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being irrational. I'm in a somewhat similar situation. I don't think he's being thoughtless, he just doesn't understand where you're coming from. I think it's just a difference in mind sets. Tell him how you feel, and maybe he'll start taking the way things effect into consideration a little more before he does things like that. Anyway, best of luck!
2006-12-12 20:38:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think in a way he is but thats guys for u! u need to tell him how u are feeling his not a mind reader if u act fine with this then he is going to think it is fine, and then u've only got urself to blame, his prolly not in the right frame of mind finals are hard all he wants to do is relax and breathe, compromise maybe he could go out with his mates for a bit then spend time with u or vice verser
2006-12-12 22:22:59 · answer #4 · answered by Jensey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your not being irrational...but give him a break, let him have his relaxing time with his friends, he's been under a lot of stress lately. Give him a couple days and if he isn't back to giving you some attention then have a talk with him.
2006-12-12 20:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by dreamgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he aware that you feel this way? I say tell him and if he has any sensitivity at all he will be rightfully ashamed.
2006-12-12 20:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by mindlesssjoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not thoughtless... just does not think the same way you do...
COMMUNICATION is the answer...
He does not know what you dont tell him...
2006-12-12 21:19:07 · answer #7 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋