an intimate make out session with another guy (not my boyfriend) ?
I hope you all can be honest and open-minded with me. I have a boyfriend and plan not to leave him. However, we get way too comfortable with each other and that there is very little excitement in out relationship. Another guy is someone I know. I am very physically attracted to him. Last week I've made out with him just for a very short time, but I got freaked out. Now' I've been obsessed over this idea--and I mean I have thought a lot about it. He is just someone I know and that every time I see him, this is all I think about. I haven't thought about sex yet, only making out.
Should I?
2006-12-12 12:32:52 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
FYI: That make out we had last week is something that I haven't felt for a very long time. I guess I kinda miss that excitement and those forbidden feelings in general.
2006-12-12 12:34:37 · update #1
hey i know how that is but dont sweat it. just try to stay loyal to your man. sex dreams (including making out) about other people when you are in a very steady comfertable relationship are common. but you shoulndt follow it because that leads to issues. just stay loyal to you boyfriend and try to put the thoughts of the other guy out of your mind. maybe if you realy cant help it ask your boyfriend if he would like to have a 3some with this other guy (granted your boyfriend is comfertable with it) this could get the thoughts out of your head because it works with other things. dont sweat it but it sounds like you have a stable relationship you are happy with. a lot of people cant have that or no matter how hard they try they cant because of some dumb person or a mistake they made. for their sake be loyal and only mack with your man unless he okays it.
2006-12-12 12:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Should you...? If you are asking if you should explore this relationship further, then you have to ask yourself a question:
"Is it worth possibly losing what you have with your current boyfriend, for what you might get with this second guy?" You can't predict anything with any real certainty. Consider this though... At some point, your current boyfriend was exciting too. Eventually, the second guy will lose his lustre as well. Part of any relationship is that after the heart-racing ends, you get into a comfortable but predictable area.
If you really want to explore the second guy, be up front with the first guy. Otherwise you'll be living a lie, and when he finds out, its over anyway. At best he'll give you the space you need and might take you back if things don't work out; at worst he'll be angry and end it, but you won't be labeled a cheater or worse...
2006-12-12 20:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by John N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having the fantasy is fine.
Actually making out with this other guy is NOT okay. It could lead to lots of feelings of hurt all around and probably the end of your relationship.
What you need to do is look for ways to spice up the relationship you have now. Why not ask your boyfriend to come shopping with you...at Victoria's Secret? Or buy a sex game that involves a lot of foreplay (try 'Strip Chocolate' and buy some body paint). Or simply pretend to be a little younger and go to a drive-in with him. Unless you want to break it off with your boy, you need to find ways to make your relationship exciting for both of you.
2006-12-12 20:43:00 · answer #3 · answered by Dilettante 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's wrong. If it goes beyond a thought and you kissed him that means that you're slightly out of control of your impulses since it doesn't sound like you would intentionally hurt your boyfriend. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? Would you want him to tell you? Would you permit him to do a little? It starts with a thought. Turns into touch, a kiss, making out then before you know what hit ya' you're full blown cheatin. If you really love your boyfriend then be honest and don't cheat. The consequences are too high and there's too much hurt involved from one bad choice.
2006-12-12 20:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by sickblade 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just do what you think you should do if that one guy is out there and is not changing any time soon then leave his @$$ or tell him that you want a little more excitement in you relationship and if he does not take you seriously then go with the other guy that makes you feel excited.
2006-12-12 20:39:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not if you want to continue your relationship with your bf. Making out is still cheating in my opinion. I would just talk with your man and come up with ways together to spice up your bedroom and non bedroom behavior, be spontaneous, go for a long weekend at the last minute, take 1/2 day off work and "kidnap" him for an afternoon, maybe role playing, or introduce toys, different positions..etc.
2006-12-12 20:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by melody g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave the boyfriend first. It's wrong to do this to someone. Would you want your boyfriend to be making out w/ another girl and possibly thinking about having sex. Maybe your boyfriend is already doing that. If that's the case, you'll are even.
2006-12-12 20:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by truebeing3030 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well lets see ask your self one question "how would i feel if my boy friend was doing the same ? would you be ok with it ? don't do anything that you would not be ok with right back , and ok your just making out with this guy but this guy is gunna want to have sex ill bet and you might want to too so we come back to the point the question already posed , I'll bet your boyfriend is not aware your kissing on this other guy are you wanting to break his heart ? are you being selfish ? really i don't care if you do or don't i just want you to think about the situation !! would you be ok if you found out he is all on another girl but still wants to be with you ? hum...... I wish i could hear your answer i am truly curious about it !
2006-12-12 20:46:45 · answer #8 · answered by Marvin L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you..even though, I have never been in that postion myself...But, I understand. But I also would have to say, even though it is just a physical thing, I would still consider it cheating...and could lead to other things...If you want to explorer the possibility with this other guy, then do it, but you would have to let go of your current guy....I am just seeing this head towards a very sticky situation...
2006-12-12 20:38:30 · answer #9 · answered by Mechelle C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm in a similar situation. i didn't do anything with the other guy though. i was fairly obsessed with the idea though. i just couldn't do that to my man. its cheating. either leave your boyfriend and pursue the other guy or stay with your boyfriend and keep the other guy as a fantasy only. the feelings for the other guy will go away shortly just like they did with your boyfriend. cheating is really mean though. don't do that to your man.
2006-12-12 20:37:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋