My boyfriend has been promising me an engagement ring for about six months now and still nothing. Everytime i bring it up he says he needs more time and more time. So finally i told him the other day that I was fed up with that response and wasn't going to take this engagement thing seriously. this really hurt his feelings. was i wrong to have said that?
2006-12-12 12:13:02 · 26 answers · asked by Jaymi C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If it's just the ring, it's a little petty of you. You could let him know that you don't mind a plain gold band (a "promise ring") that he could afford easily, or you could offer to pay for it yourself, but explain that you don't feel like you're engaged without it.
But if it's the engagement, it's not petty at all. That is...have you two told anybody that you're engaged? Have you set a wedding date? Have you met his parents (and vice versa)? If the answer to these questions is no, you're not really engaged at all, and you deserve to know where the relationship is going.
He may be getting cold feet - try backing off for a while, or re-evaluate where you both want to go with this relationship.
How did he promise the ring? Did he promise it explicitly, or just talk about it as a general idea? Did he say it more than once? Did he do it to get you into bed? Is he in school? Lots of questions come up. He may not have meant what you think he meant - it may have just been a "wouldn't it be a cool idea to get married someday?" kind of thing, or a way to get you to stop bugging him. It may also have been a real commitment, though! Maybe his parents don't approve or he has no money. Or maybe he's waiting until Christmas or New Years to give it to you.
Good luck!
2006-12-12 12:32:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Promise rings are not the same as engagement rings. A promise ring is a ring promising to stay true to each other. There is still no promise of marrying with a promise ring. An engagement ring is a ring that symbolized that the 2 people agree to get married and plan a wedding in the near future
2016-05-23 16:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by Jo-ann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to relax. You are going to scare him away. Six months is not a long time. Did you ever think that he might be planning something special for you. Or maybe he is scared. I was engaged for 1 1/2 years before we married. He promised and talked about it for a year before that. If you love each other, then when the time is right, it will work. If he is still doing this a few years down the road, then get mad.
2006-12-15 20:11:57 · answer #3 · answered by basura5150 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is saving for a nice engagement ring but has not told you this...I think that you have said what you needed to say...let it go for awhile say for another 6 months and see what happens...sometimes if you put pressure on people they will do just the opposite of what you want them to do.
If you do say anything maybe you could tell him that it is ok that you will wait as long as you have each other and will make a life together someday soon that is enough for right now...
2006-12-12 14:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you were wrong to say that. Stop bringing it up. How are you going to feel when you get a ring you have been bugging your guy for anyway? Do you think " oh my god, he really really loves me " or are you going to think " well, I finally bugged him enough to get me a ring" I think you should stop talking about it. He know's how you feel and I'm sure he is doing what he can to make you happy. Is it a money thing? Maybe you want more than he can afford. You sound a little materialistic so maybe he thinks whatever he gets you will not be enough.
2006-12-12 13:49:30 · answer #5 · answered by davidswoman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it sounds like you were being insensitive.
Would you really feel good about browbeating him into giving you a ring? Wouldn't that take away the meaning of it?
Plenty of people get engaged and even married, without ANY rings. They are completely optional.
Try having a ringless engagement, if you still are agreed you want to marry each other.
2006-12-12 22:48:36 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, in case you missed it...engagement rings are very expensive. Maybe he hasn't gotten the resources together to get it. Maybe with all your pressuring he's having doubts and second thoughts. Want advice, back off and let it happen naturally!
P.S. and don't give ultimatums 9 out of 10 times you will not get the response or action you were looking for.
2006-12-12 12:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by shaman 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No, you are not wrong. Don't feel guilty for verbalizing your feelings. You have a right to feel this way. First, is he putting this off because he thinks he has to buy something nice? If the feelings are genuine on both sides, a simple band should suffice when finances are an issue. If this is the case, you need to let him know you don't expect anything fancy and expensive. Otherwise, whether he realizes it or not, he is making excuses because being engaged and, subsequently married, is something he is not yet ready to do. He shouldn't need to be pushed if he is really ready to commit. Now, the bigger problem is, are you willing to be a doormat and continue to be "just the girlfriend" or are you willing to move on and find someone who is ready to commit and wants what you want?
2006-12-12 12:27:20 · answer #8 · answered by Venice Girl 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes, he'll ask you when he's ready..maybe he can't afford the "perfect" ring, or maybe he's making sure that he can take care of you,
I think you need to apologize to him, explain to him that you're just frustrated by him promising a ring then not coming though, ask him why he needs more time....talk to him and be ready to listen to him.
Maybe he's planning on surprising you for Christmas or New Years...
2006-12-12 13:00:20 · answer #9 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are wrong. If he's not ready, then for whatever reason, he's not ready. What if he's trying to save up some money for the "perfect" ring? He may also be planning on giving it to you when you aren't expecting it.
If you continue to pressure him, you may lose him. If my girlfriend kept nagging me about getting a ring, i would probably get tired of it too and would start rethinking the relationship.
2006-12-12 12:43:20 · answer #10 · answered by jastorsjeep 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋