please... i need some help here. : (?

Question

I am trying to put this in as few words as possible.... so let me begin. I have been experiencing horrible panic attacks and they started at school. I am a senior in high school and had to be taken out to do tutoring/homeschooling because i was too afraid to go to school. Basically, I know for a fact I cannot go back to school (high school) because i am petrafied and it will make things worse. I'd give anything to live normal again, and i intend to in every other aspect... but for some reason school has a fierce grip on me. I need to graduate because I do want to go to college. Everyone is pressuring me to start going back to school because I "should" be able to go by now... but i'm not ready... and i want to finish the rest of my year at home. Has anyone ever done this? Can't they understand that I am deathly afraid of going back... i'm so scared that if they made me, i'd drop out... simple as that. Any advice? please... i'm really not trying to be difficult... :( panic attacks suck..

hey! The girl who left me the really really really long message!!! I'd love to talk to you more... Thank you so much... you really inspired me. Let me know if you get this... Sorry, i forgot your name. :( But please, get back to me when you can!

oh yea! It was "matta" my email is listed on my homepage. :)

Answer 1

HI! Oh where do i begin...... how about with some serious kudos for you for being a) very frank about this and b) knowing your strengths, weaknesses, and most importantly, YOUR needs, not someone else's idea of what you "should" do or "should" need or truthfully, "should" want. Very good, i honestly see this as quite a mature quality in the face of something that can be truthfully, quite scary indeed at a pivotal point on your life. Keep in mind that you are at the biggest turning point in your life (besides menopause, heehee) transitioning from childhood and decisions made for you, to adulthood, where you make your own decisions. You should know that a bright young lady such as yourself is well ahead of the game already knowing what it is you need etc. Unfortunately at this time you are currently in is absolutely FILLED with people and ideas of what's best for you, or what you should do or should be able to do, only YOU trully know what is best, and what you should do, and what you need.
Although i don't even know you, i am so proud of you for knowing your boundaries right now.

So, look at it this way-- you only have to get through about 6 more months of High school, however it is you decide to finish it off. I strongly encourage you to get your diploma, but not necessarily at school. Depending on what state you live in, you can do the wonderful invention of independent study, modeled for such people like you and me. for those of us who cant take another minute of high school! ahhhhhhh! I went through much the same as you, only it happened to me about mid sophomore year, and although i didnt have bad panic attacks AT school, it was a severe depression and anxiety and a desire for something else.... to move on, past the drama, past the bs, to get my education and move on in life. i HATED high school, and so mid sophomore year i went from a large public high school to independent study. I did have to go into "school" once a week, for one hour, to pick up my assignments, but the rest of the week was mine. i graduated 2 years early, moved on, and it was GREAT! "school" in independent study was more like a set of cubicles, nice and quiet, just you and a teacher one on one. you get your assignments for the week, and then go home and do them! In your PJ's with a soda on the couch! I dont want to make it seem easy, because you do have to spend about 6 to 7 hours a day on school work, you still have to earn your credits, but as far as socially, wayyyy easier. so much nicer! I assume it may be difficult to even go in for an hour to the independent study building for an hour a week, but, one hour a week in a quiet environment is so much better than HS, and way better than dropping out. And, look at it this way, it will help you get over your fear in your own time, by your own decision.

So, you need to call the school district office for your area, (if you are in CA i can really help you here) you should be able to find this in the phone book. or just call your school, and ask whoever answers for the district office number. ask the district office for the number to the independent study program, and where you need to go for the entry forms to fill out. if you are already 18, its easy, you don't need a parent's or guardian's signature, but if you arent 18 you will need a signature for the school transfer.

I absolutely loved independent study. you do have to be dedicated to your education. it is time consuming. but, you will learn so much more than you would in regular high school. and all you need is a few more credits.... and you are free!
Also, the independent study teachers are usually very acustomed to the more eclectic of high school students, people with different needs and desires and who know what they want in life. so i am sure you would be able to find an independent study teacher who understands where you are comming from.

i also want to praise you immensely for desiring to continue your education. they threaten you with regretting missing sr. year.... not walking down the aisle with your class.....
Well, i have no regrets. i did independent study, graduated 2 years early, and never walked in a goofy gown. I have NO regrets. I do have a kick butt job, a national title figure skating, a wonderful husband, and a life i am proud of. You can have it all too. you will need your education, just not all the bs that comes with sr year of high school. i am infinitely glad i never dropped out, that would have been a mistake, but i am also so glad i did independent study. Its such propaganda that you have to be all social and into school.... what you have to be into is your education, which it sounds like you are. Please, do get your diploma, and please consider college.

as far as college is concerned, please please do go! you don't have to go in to college daily to earn your degree. Online courses! free library internet access! hours you choose! and, when you are ready, maybe a regular class. or two, or however many you want. College is SO much different from high school. you will like it. again, all choices you make, unlike grade school.

ok, two more ideas, this is so long,
find the nearest community college. register now. as a sr in hs you can register now. you can probably take classes now. a lot of these classes count towards your college as well as high school education. and, they may have ideas or know of special programs available in your community for you and your desires.
as well, check into GED and HS deploma equivalency exams. if given the option, the equivalency exam is better than a GED. Lastly, you have a documentable medical difficulty, most teachers will work with people with such. My brother got really sick his junior year, and all his teachers gave him his assignments for the week for like, a year and a half. he graduated validictorian.

You have plenty of options, but the one thing i learned is that NO ONE but you can make it happen best. You have to initiate it. I initiated all my paperwork for change to independent study, and, filled in all the boxes, and went to my mom and said, please sign here: ...... i think that made a very good impression, taking hold of my own life. So i think you can take hold of yours, and get what you want. Be creative. You are incredibly smart. And well on your way to a wonderful life.

Remember, be confident. when you call around for information, be confident. you are a blossoming adult who can take care of her own life. Be confident and demand reasonable actions from those you ask for assistance. There's nothing wrong with you. High School sucked for me too. And it is NOTHING like the rest of life, or the real world......

Take care! If you need my help just add on a note to your question, i will check back. You are doing great, and dont worry what everyone else thinks and says.
I would like to be the first to welcome you to the real world!

Reasearch and find what it is you need, and what you want, and get it. Do it.

Good luck, i hope it all works out for you, and do try to see past next June.

Lastly, but most importantly, I found that it always helps to pray to God about these things. If you really have faith in Him, even if you are unsure, scared, and confused, just know He will answer your prayers. I've been through a lot, and i am SO amazed at how much He has listened. You can vent to him too. I have even accidentally sworn in talking to God.... but you know what? He does understand. And he loves you.
Discard propaganda. God loves you. thats all there is to it. Just ask Him for yourself.

Answer 2

I had panic attacks during college...not bc I was scared to go to class, but still. I wish I could help you, but all I can say is that you aren't alone and I know how crippling anxiety can be...you know what you can handle and if you can't go back, you can't go back. Just try not to let them cripple you in everything you do. Hopefully your anxiety will lessen and the attacks will stop, are you going through a particularly stressful time in your life? If so, know that the attacks will pass. Just do what you need to do to graduate. It doesn't matter how. It sounds like you also need to relax a bit before putting yourself back into a school environment. I suggest taking off school for a year and working instead. Just stay with your parents and pay them rent; you need their support right now. Don't worry! It will all be okay.

Answer 3

I'm 28. If I had to go back to high school and put up with what you kids have to deal with I'd be ready to leave too. It was bad enough at times then. College is a whole different thing. Not like high school at all. You should obey whatever your parents ask you to do in this. Then ask God for the help to do it. If you can finish outside of going back to a regular school, why not do that. I wouldn't do it just to feel normal. Things are changing very fast in this country culturally for the worst. Older people today if not aware of this do not have a clue about what is going on in schools.

Answer 4

if you have a state-funded mental health service, i suggest you seek help from them. if you continue in the same vein without having some help, whether or not you like the idea, you may wind up being totally unable to leave your home.
i am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but i am a mental health patient for some very severe problems from many years ago. i can empathize with you and can tell you, panic attacks have a cause. what it is , whether some event triggered them, or a simple chemical imbalance in the brain, as is the case for those having bi-polar disorder, you cannot think about the problem being fixed without a professional diagnosis of cause, and a treatment for the problem's cause. it will NOT just go away. get the help you need, and then the problem can be resolved to allow you some normalcy again. don't put it off. it will only get worse, not better without help! please get it NOW.

Answer 5

If you have those panic attacks then there must be something that have happened to you at school, some kinda situation or something that made you extremely afraid to go back.. well you are a big girl, i say you take all the stregth you have and get back there.. just look to your collegues and think that they are not better than you are.. think of all the positive things of going there, like seeing your friends.. meeting guys and this stuff, most of all to graduate.. just wash away all these silly ideas from your head.. and convince yourself that everything is just normal..
good luck

Answer 6

Wow.. That puppy should still be with it's mom.. How come you are left to babysit such a young puppy?? No one left instructions at all?? What the puppy is eating, what it's to be fed? Taking it outside, nothing? You should call the breeder and ask what she recommends.. I am a little shocked at the situation.. You can't take the puppy out anywhere around other dogs. Make sure he has fresh water available.. And I guess offer him some dry food, see if he's used to that.. If he won't eat it, try adding a little water to moisten it up for him. Gotta keep him out of trouble, away from dangerous things.. Take him outside every 1/2 hour or so.. How long are you babysitting for??

Answer 7

I was the only out gay guy out in high school i went thru a lot of anxiety i was afriad to walk thru the cafeteria until one day i read in a article how nicole kidman "Radaited self confidence" after she broke up with tom cruise it was that moment that i realized im only going to be in high school once screw these people im not here for them this is about me!!!!! There comes a moment when u u embrace the good and the bad , just think howproud of youraself would u be if u went bacafter this n-e thing is possible

Answer 8

First, I'm sorry you have to go through this. I have been dealing with panic attacks for about four years now and your right they suck. The best thing I know to tell you is to talk to your counselor or therapist and tell them how you feel then ask them to support you. If you don't have either one believe me it is in your best interest to get one. Panic attacks are very hard to deal with and you can get through them (long term) much better with someone who understands a little about them. Good Luck.

Answer 9

What caused the panic attack. You never said exactly what triggered it or why you felt scared. Maybe you had a reality check and realized you are getting ready to start a new journey in life after graduation. Need more pertinent info.

Answer 10

first you need to figure out why you are having the attacks, boy trouble, trouble with friends, fitting in? then you may be able to avoid what is causing you to have the panic attacks, but the only way is to face your fear of going back to high school to figure it out! i am a senior and i have senioritis, i am so terrifed of what is ahead in my future, but the best way for you is to go back to school and just try to deal with it as best as you can.

Answer 11

This might be helpful
http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/