How do you get a 5yr old girl to listen when her dad counteracts everything that I, the mother, say?

Question

I have a very intelligent 5 year old daughter who used to be the sweetest child. She has the "daddy's girl" problem. Anytime that I have disciplined her and taken something away her dad always gives it back and says, "Is your mommy being mean to you?" Then lets her do what I said that she couldn't. Now anytime I tell her to do something she will not listen because "I'm not the boss!!!! Daddy is!!" HELP!!!!!!

Answer 1

First and foremost, you and dad have to get on the same page or she will never listen to you. You have to back each other up or the child becomes confused and will learn to be manipulative. Smack your husband and tell him to straighten up.

Answer 2

If you and your husband dont start presenting a united front then you are going to have a monster child on your hands. Tell you husband this...If she doesnt listen to us now...Will she listen to us when she's 15 and we tell her No, her motorcycling riding 19 year old tatood boyfriend cannot come pick her up??? She wont listen and then your hubby will get to watch Daddys lil girl ride off down the street....

First off talk to ur husband. And if he doesnt want to stop being a softy..then go drastic. let him YOU are the boss (because us women are, we all know this) and if he DISRESPECTS YOU (which is what he is doing) one more time in front of your daughter, then he will seriously be in the dog house. No sex, no dinner...no laundry done. Nothing. You do not do for people who are disrepectful to you and overriding your punishments to your daughter is outright disrespect.

Good luck!!! Try sitting him down for a dose of Nanny 911...that might open his eyes too...

Answer 3

It is very clear your daughter is not the issue here but rather your husband. There is no reason in raising a child in two very different directions; it only leads to frustrations and resentment. You need to have a serious talk with him about parenting. However, with this in mind, I am not suggesting you lecture him and come to him with the declaration that "I'm right and you are wrong" this will only polarize the issue and will get him defensive. No, in this case you need to discuss it as adults, see where he can be a little more firm and see if you can soften up here and there. At 5 years old, the battle is not lost, but you need to stand united in the rules and the boundaries you set. Him undermining you and making you into the "bad cop" or "wicked witch" might be great for his ego, but it is only harming the 3 of you in the long term.

good luck!

Answer 4

Experience says that Mom and Dad need to parent together. All Dad is doing is creating a monsterous situation. Even Mom, StepDad, Father and StepMom all got together to raise our daughter with the same type of dicipline and consequence. If we really believed the dicipline was for a really big deal we (all 4) would discuss the situation and each house held up the punishment.

You need to work this out with your husband prior to having more children, or your life will be terribly difficult, especially if you are "in charge" of the home.

Please have a real big heart to heart with him.

Answer 5

i can't imagine having this problem. before our first child was even conceived, i told the father (we're now pregnant with number three!!) that if he contradicted me in front of any of the children we would have, i would leave him. period point blank. one of the few things he and i actually agree on without any arguing at all. there is no cause for your child's dad creating a disciplinary problem for you. our children are 2 and 1 at the moment, but even now, if he/i disagree with the other, we discuss it with the other out of earshot of the child, and the one who set the punishment is the one to go to our child and change it if that's what's decided, thereby getting rid of the problem of "who's the boss?". i'd make him go to counseling (couple's or family counseling) or seperate from him. he isn't being good to your daughter by challenging you at every turn. he's teaching her that woman have no say, and she will one day be a woman. also, many fathers act this way when they're doing things with their little girls they shouldn't be. it's a way to keep her trust and keep a rift between you and her. i'd get her checked by a doctor.

Answer 6

I would recommend you and your husband meet with a family/marriage counselor. This is an issue between you two that your daughter is paying the price for: inconsistent messages and that her mother's parenting is irrelevant. Without improvement in your relationship, your daughter will likely side with her father and begin disrespecting you, too. Hurry!

Answer 7

I agree with other posters, if you're not both on the same page, Nothing gets done and you will bear the brunt of their disrespect. That's not fair to you. Get your husband and grab him by the collar if you have to. He's setting you both up for quite a rebellious childhood.

Answer 8

5 is not too young for her to learn the truth. Sit down with her and begin the indoctrination training. Have her repeat 100 times "All men are scum."

Answer 9

child is not the problem DAD IS THE PROBLEM get him to counseling before he totally destorys her life. if you let him continue i know from experience he will ruin her life for ever.

Answer 10

sit daddy down and tell him that if he does not stop this then she will end up being a little brat, and NO ONE will want her around . ask him is that what he wants? and if he says no then tell him he needs to stop doing it , and to please help make her mind.