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Okay so over last Thanksgiving break (in 2005)i traveled over 100 miles to see my favorite cousins who live 2 hours away.okay? So I spent 5 days there. My cousin..we'll call him "Tyler" and i were in his room playing video games. All of a sundden he came up and started touching me...He put onme hand up my shirt and the other down my jeans. He started fingering me and it hurt really bad. Then he left the room and I went to leave and he came back in but this time he was wearing a condom and was begging me to have sex with him. He jumped on me and started going up and down on my body. But he didn't insert himself. I felt so uncomfortable.I was so scared to tell. So I let him do what he wanted to do.. i am afraid noone will believe me if i tell. I don't know what to do... I don't think I can tell...I am just so ashamed.. I already confronted him and asked why he did it and he said he knew I wanted it..But I DIDN'T! does it really sound as if i wanted it?? Please Help! I was 14.

2006-12-12 11:01:07 · 12 answers · asked by Ashley 1 in Family & Relationships Family

I can't tell my parents they won't believe me and I don't wanna start a family fight

2006-12-12 11:19:12 · update #1

How can I email Gracie's mom?!

2006-12-12 11:54:29 · update #2

12 answers

it doesnt sound like u wanted it and u should report it! even if he is ur cousin, u should tell ur mom or something! i feel so bad for u! good luck <3

2006-12-12 11:04:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Part of your question was, "How to get over it?" Let's think about this. It's been over a year since it happened. Do you feel any better now than you did last year? Probably not, in fact you may be feeling worse. The fact that you are seeking help on this site shows that it's bothering you a great deal (and with good reason!). I'm afraid you will only feel worse as time goes on, unless you take some action. The reality is, an incident like this will stay with you forever. You can not change what happened. However, you can help yourself work through the pain, and the pain will eventually lessen. But you must confide in someone who can help you take action against your cousin. Who are you closest to? Can you talk to your mom, or dad? If not, is there a counselor at school, or do you have a minister? If you can't talk to any of them, is there another adult you respect and trust? If you are uncomfortable speaking about it, how about showing them what you wrote here on this site? You can tell them, "I wrote that - that happened to me. Cousin so-and-so did that to me. Please, I need your help." With Christmas coming, I wonder if you will have to see this guy at some family gathering. If you do, STAY AWAY from him. He will try it again. And as someone else mentioned, he is also trying it on other girls. If you don't come forward, he will continue victimizing innocent girls. He must be stopped, and he must be punished for what he did to you. If you don't resolve this, it will affect you in your adult life in ways that you may not be able to imagine now. It can affect you psychologically to the point where it interferes with your ability to trust men - you may have trouble having a loving, intimate relationship with a really decent, kind and good man. So please, be good to yourself and do the right thing - report your cousin's behavior as soon as you can. You did absolutely nothing to deserve what happened to you. You are a victim! We all support you out here! Take care.

2006-12-12 19:41:05 · answer #2 · answered by Meaghan's Mom 1 · 1 0

First I'm sure it was hard for you to share this much with stranger's. This is something you'll never get over for as long as you live no matter how hard you try. You need to talk to someone about this situation because if he attempted this with you then chance's are he'll try again, either with you or someone else in the future. Now is the time for you to speak up and be heard no matter the circumstance's, but this is your choice and no one else can make that decision for you. Follow your heart and do what you believe is right.

2006-12-12 20:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by RuneDragon 3 · 0 0

you have to tell an adult,especially your parents what had happened. it is a serious matter,which might get worst (though i hoe not!).but i really do understand how you feel about what had happened.
i also experienced being molested,but not to that extent.it happened when i was 16.my aunt married a man who has kids of his own,the youngest came to live with my aunt since he was 7,i'm 4 yrs older than he is, but we still almost practically grew up (we live nearby).my family and i stayed at their house at one time.one night,as i was still reading a book,i saw a shadow across the bed, i just knew it was him.he started playing with his own "thing" directed on my face (i was lucky to have the book completely covering my face to avoid seeing that disgusting act) i was scared.but i told him to stop otherwise i'll scream..he didn't at first thinking i was kidding. i screamed for my mom.he immediately ran off to the bathroom.after i told my mom who came to me immediately what had happened, she went to my aunt and told her as well. my aunt didn't believe me.she looked into the bathroom where her stepson went in,but didn't turn the lights on, and said no one was inside.i was screaming, telling her furiously that her stepson was indeed inside..when my aunt wasn't looking, my "cousin" ran towards his room.my mom saw it but my aunt still didn't believed the two of us.
something happened the following day..this time i told my mom's eldest sister.later my other aunt confronted my aunt who's the stepmom about the 2nd incident.it was only at that time when they took actions against my "cousin "
but even after everything that has happened, i know and feel that my aunt is still placing the blame on me.
regardless of which, you have to fight for yourself!even if no one will.don't let a perv (such as your cousin) take advantage of you.because no matter what others may say, you at least will be able to keep your self respect and dignity. good luck! Ü

2006-12-13 03:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by chet 1 · 0 0

oh honey im sorry this happened to you and no you didnt deserve this some guys are jerks and you should tell your mom if you dont feel comfortable you need to tell someone you can trust a counsler or someone and if you think it would make you fel better some sort of program i wish you the best and i hope you get over this although i know it will be hard good luck and keep faith you did nothing wrong

2006-12-12 19:09:56 · answer #5 · answered by advise_gal 4 · 0 0

You should tell and get counseling. You sound as if you really are ready to talk about it. Look at it this way, if he did it to you and got away with it then he'll probably do it again to someone else. You can help prevent this from happening to someone else. Good luck to you.

2006-12-12 19:08:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

well Ashely i am sorry to hear what has happen to you but sometime you need to toughen up and just report him because if you don't you wont be the only one and this must be so hard because it was not a stranger but a family member that did this to you. tell your dad your mom it will be hard for them to hear about it but they must know that you have gone throw such a thing. if you don't tell your only telling him that he did what he wanted and there is no consequences for his action but there is.

2006-12-12 19:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by mano558 5 · 0 0

you should talk with someone. it will help you feel better. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. i know how you feel believe me. over time you will learn how to deal with it better.but you really need to talk with your mom or older sister if you have one.NO it did not sound like you asked for it. no one deserves to be rape or touched by any one. again I'm so sorry and hope you find the peace you need.

2006-12-12 19:18:08 · answer #8 · answered by angel 1 · 0 0

Tell that @@@ you will tell! He has no right. You should not carry the shame and guilt of this. You did nothing wrong but you need to confide in someone immediately!!

2006-12-12 19:10:14 · answer #9 · answered by tamara.knsley@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0 0

. i feel so bad for you but the only thing for you to do is to tell your parents, so what if he is your cousin, you should still tell. make the right decision.
good luck

email me if you need any more advise

2006-12-12 20:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by Natasha R 2 · 0 0

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