she still dictates what to wear, how to fix hair, what to eat etc...
I want to move out but my mom controls my money so i can't afford to move out. it is harder each day and i'm in college
2006-12-12 10:48:43 · 10 answers · asked by katherinekimbrough 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
there is no dorm at my college
2006-12-13 05:10:40 · update #1
contact Dr. Phil
2006-12-12 10:50:36 · answer #1 · answered by mutt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although she seems a bit too controlling, you mother is simply looking after your best interest. She also desires that her daughter does not became another piece of butt on the market and get pregnant, thus joining the rest of the gold-digger single mothers out there. Besides, you have no business moving out until you marry. Keep in mind that your mother is you in future form. She has lived and has been where you are now. Whatever you think is cool and desirable, she has seen it and it has proven to be dumb.
I hate to sound like I don't care about your opinions or desires, but in reality your job is to educate yourself and get a reputable job with the salary to go along with it. After you have done that, you will have the social and financial backing to do as you please and your mother will be much more at ease with your decisions.
Life is much easy and enjoyable when you are educated and earn plenty. Your mother knows and you need to thank her. She does know. After all, she is mom.
Mr. M on "mama controls me."
2006-12-12 18:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She controls your money - or she doles out your money?
If she's footing the bills, you may have to endure this to finish your education. Could you get to a dorm room?
Money equals power. Your mom is well aware of that.
She sounds like an extremely controlling person to me. She will not lose her control over you without a huge fight. I believe you know that - right?
So when you have your own money and have the power to leave, garner your courage, make a definite plan and then STICK TO IT. I predict she will try rage, bribery, pity - anything to keep her power. Be strong and deliberately set about establishing your boundaries. It is your hair - not hers. It will be your place - not hers. Remember that.
You will realize that you have a pattern of relying on her to make your decisions. Do not ask for her advice. If you make a mistake, you will learn from it. Do not ask for help. You must earn your independence.
2006-12-13 00:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by Same Song Different Verse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take some steps to gain Independence from your mother. It's your life and unless you take control, no one is going to give it to you, least of all your mother. If you need some support in order to take the actions that you need, since you're in college, check with the school counseling department. they sometimes have someone you can talk to, and at the very least could give you some low-cost referrals. Moving out and on with your life is a big deal and can sometimes be scary. But you deserve to have the life you want and only you can make that happen!! Best of luck - I'm rooting for you :)
2006-12-12 18:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by eddie girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think maybe you could talk to your mom and try to explain that you love her but you would like a little more control over your life because you are growing up. If she does not listen to this and you have tried to explain to her on a numerous of occasions, then somehow you should at least get control of your money, that way you can save and find a place of your own, but if your mother truly loves you which i am sure that she does, then she will understand and try to respect your feelings whether she agrees with them or not. Just try not to be harsh or yell, parents can be ultra sensitive.
2006-12-12 18:53:57 · answer #5 · answered by believe19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a job, set up your own checking account and save until you can move out. Or, if you're school has a dorm - move in there. You are an adult.
2006-12-12 18:53:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and talk to her and let her know how you fell about her. If you need to have some one else in on the talk get a auntie or another adult female friend of your mothers. And talk it out like to grown adults. Sounds to me like she think you are not mature enough to leave home.
2006-12-12 18:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by Peaches 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can get to a councelor somehow, I'm sure they would help you gain your independance from her. Other ways could be to talk to her personally and tell her how you feel and what you really need. I know its hard, but you're in a hard situation.
2006-12-12 18:52:24 · answer #8 · answered by Rayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up! You are someday going to live in an adult world! If you still live with "momma", she's footing the bills so she feels that she can control your life. That only works if YOU ALLOW IT!!!
2006-12-12 18:51:55 · answer #9 · answered by the_pharaoh109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what*s wrong with this picture ?
2006-12-12 18:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by Barbie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋