I have no problem attracting guys but once things start getting deep & we're getting to know eachother miore & more I always let my insecurities get the best of me (unconsciously but perpetually) & i suppose go overboard & become to overbearing and scare them away...
any help?advice?PLS...!?
GUYS?GIRLS?
2006-12-12 10:31:57 · 24 answers · asked by Cooxie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok...am i just clingy?is that what scares 'em off...what does it mean to be clingy?
2006-12-14 09:34:29 · update #1
well you need to learn control on emotions and your self control first thing! You need to fess up to your insecuriteies and let them be known to yourself so you can work on them! put your expatations out from the get go is good! but you have to remeber there is a time and place for everything! Listen more then talk as well is another great way!
ask questions and dont talk about yourself! for every statement you make ask 5 questions... instead but not drilling questions either ask questions of interest!
try not to think about where it may end up just think about the moment your in now!
B est of luck
2006-12-12 10:36:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on your self-esteem. If you feel good about yourself, then you will automatically be more secure. Also, ask yourself how important the relationship is and why. If the relationship is more important because you have A GUY than it is because you are together with THIS GUY, then back off, you're going at it for the wrong reasons.
But, most important, the answer to your first question is: NOTHING! You need to stop thinking that there is something wrong with you. That will most certainly make you insecure. No one is perfect, that is the beauty of love and relationship; when you acre about the other person, you seem to care less and less about their imperfections.
2006-12-14 07:43:45 · answer #2 · answered by funwithu_007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anything is wrong with you. It just seems relationships bring out your insecurities. Which they'll do. Think of it as a way of removing the uglier parts from inside you. So they come out lol. I don't think you, yourself are overbearing, but when you want to protect what you have built you might get that way. And then you do what you were trying to protect from happening all along. I say, while in a relationship, concentrate more on yourself. Often the things we feel have more to do with us than the person we're with.
2006-12-12 10:39:25 · answer #3 · answered by jamiesjim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your insecurity will be difficult to ditch, but if you build up your self-confidence, you'll drop it. Work on your confidence about the way you are, the way you act, the way you look...everything about you! Learn to love yourself for who you are (though if you go conceited, it will be just as bad as being insecure). Let your boyfriend know beforehand that you are insecure, and maybe he can avoid things that will make you nervous about his loyalty.
Remind yourself that you are who you are and disparaging yourself isn't making anyone's day more fulfilling. You are the person you are and you attract men to you for the qualities that make you special and a great girlfriend. Everyone has flaws...and insecurity, luckily, can be easily beaten with determination.
Give it a shot!!
2006-12-12 10:38:38 · answer #4 · answered by Tawny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch a romantic film! Listen to the film. If there is anything the female character says that you wouldn't say, make a note of it!
Then make a note of what you would say, after the male character asks something to her!
Are you with me?
Read your notes. Find the things you thought of and wrote down to see if there is anything what you've regret writing. This should tell you if you're the type of person who doesn't think before they speak.
You are probably a fantastic person. It's their loss anyway. But try this anyway.
2006-12-12 10:42:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to winning a man's heart is CONFIDENCE. You've got to know what you want and be brave enough to voice your priorities without fear of what someone may think of you. Be assured that what you have to offer is unique. Don't try to be what you think someone is looking for. If the person doesn't value you for who you are, then the relationship isn't worth the time and effort it takes trying to make it work. When you are confident in yourself, you will begin to attract the right people.
2006-12-12 10:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by Grace A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have general insecurities. This could be a physical thing, it could be emotional...either way, you need to become a more confident person and how to do that, in my suggestion, is to exercise 4 days a week and eat good foods. You'll see a tremendous difference!
2006-12-12 10:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you need to call me for info or i'll just say it here. Number 1. You should never put your problems in other men's hands. Number 2. A man doesn't love you untill you actually have a physical(not sexual) relationship. Number 3. You shouldn't be scared of what men have in their mind, always scared of what they do.
2006-12-12 10:36:57 · answer #8 · answered by sword_rion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that uncommon, lots of girls are "insecure". You need to work on your self-confidence. Concentrate on the things that you are good at and don't let yourself dwell on the small stuff.
Guys admire confident girls, they don't like "jealous" or "clingy" girls. Work on your strengths, don't allow yourself to waste time on your insecurities!
Good luck.
2006-12-12 10:37:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is something unstable in your life and there are insecurities you have about yourself and until you take care of this problem then this will continue to happen.
2006-12-12 10:36:32 · answer #10 · answered by costa_ricas_finest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋