I got married 2 years ago. My husband and I are working through college so, we couldn't afford expensive rings or a grand ceremony or reception. We got married at city hall and had a nice dinner. we really didn't have any of the "expected" wedding stuff. our honeymoon was 2 nights at a hotel by the sea.
not that we didn"t want to do all the grand gestures, it just wasn't in our budget.
now, several of my friends are getting married/ engaged and all they want to talk about is.. weddings.
I wouldn't mind but when they talk about it, they always be me and my husband down for not "going all out" . They side snide things like.." well, the wedding is a new start- and it shows you how things are going to be.. too bad you settled."
I love my husband and I'm not unhappy with our wedding plans But I'm getting sick of hearing them talk about us like this and when I've told them nicely that it bothers me, they don't listen.
has this happened to you?
what should I do?
2006-12-12 09:58:19 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
When i get married, i am currently engaged and have 2 kids I also am not going to be able to have the lush wedding and like you, that is o.k. with me. I would much rather spend my money on a house that will be ours, not just a day of wasted money. Tell your so- called friends that that is the way it happened and you are FINE with it and please do not mention it again as you hurt me and my husbands feelings...and if it gets mentioned again, do not be around them then laugh at them when they get divorced after having spent a lot of money on a wedding while you two are happily married. lol...bottom line, Do not listen to anybody...as long as you are happy, that is ALL that matters.
2006-12-12 10:09:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're friends are being rude and I wouldn't hesitate to tell them off.
I would love to do my wedding the way that you and your husband did; it's not settling - it's being smart. Who wants to spend $25,000 on a wedding when you can spend just as much on a mortgage, a car, or some other major purchase that will last for more than a day?
I am totally with you - what matters is the marriage, not the wedding. After all, the marriage lasts a whole lot longer.
When you talk to your friends, point out that you've been married for 2 years and that your ceremony hasn't had any negative effects on your marriage - in fact, it probably saved you a lot of fighting over money matters!
If you have a big, elaborate wedding, all the wedding shows is that you have a massive debt in your future (if your parents aren't footing the bill) and I don't think anyone wants to start out that way.
2006-12-12 11:44:37 · answer #2 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has not happened to me, but I have to say that maybe they aren't your friends. Friends are there to hold you up, to tell you are beautiful when you haven't lost the baby weight, to accept your situation in life, and not gloat.
If you are happy, if you are in love, then screw them.
Seriously, I wish I could just make you understand. I had the wedding of my dreams. It was great. We spent lots of money. Then it was over. All that money, and all that planning. In the end, I am married, and so are you. Doesn't it in the end matter how happy you are, and that you got there, not how you got there?
So often, couples get so wrapped up in the details, they forget what it's really about. And marriage isn't about the wedding, it's about the comittment that you make for your life, to hold someone eles's heart for the rest of your life as though it is the most fragile thing in the world.
Not the hot and cold h'ors deurves.
2006-12-12 10:13:56 · answer #3 · answered by Beck 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't let them get to you. You wanted a marriage and you have one. Big wedding don't insure happiness. I've seen people have the most elaborate dream weddings but a nightmare of a marriage. The next time they make a comment about you "settling", just say "I am so lucky I settled for a loving man and I'd do it again."
2006-12-12 12:58:22 · answer #4 · answered by lady01love 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband's brother's wedding was much grander than ours, and even though I loved our wedding, the rest of his family kinda put it out there how much better his wedding was going to be than 'the last one'. Thankfully, we don't live close so I didn't have to hear it alot, but it still got on my nerves. Tell your friends to back off. The wedding doesn't make a marriage. By working within your budget it shows that you and your husband are responsible and very smart. Frankly, it's stupid to believe that the wedding reflects on the future relationship, except maybe in their cases. Their stupid decidions will hurt them later. Consider yourself the smart one!
2006-12-12 10:48:10 · answer #5 · answered by Brit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How rude of them!
Think of it this way.
Your 'friends' are spending many THOUSANDS of dollars on, what, four hours of their life.
YOU and your hubby spent less than that on a sweet ceremony and a few nights for a honeymoon, saving MORE MONEY that would go to a house, or a car, or an addition to your house, etc.
If they want to be rude, I'd be rude right back. Wait until they've gotten divorced then say "well you ruined thousands of dollars on HIM/HER" and laugh...
I don't consider a wedding a "new start", but a continuation of your commitment to your man and your life together.
I hope you find something to say that shuts their mouths quick when they become critical of your wedding.
Congrats!
2006-12-12 12:10:51 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
babe girl don't pay any mind to them, atleast u and urs had enough sense to stay within what u could afford without going crazy and being in debt, paying for a wedding u couldn't afford. so when ever they are saying snide things to u , just sit back with a smile on ur face and know that u won't being paying for a huge wedding for the next 10 yrs and will be much futhur then them in 10 yrs. and keep that smile on ur face
2006-12-12 10:12:17 · answer #7 · answered by cemlkd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Play a joke on them. Go to Wal Mart and get one of those huge costume rings and pretend its the best thing you have ever seen. You will be living in a large house and have a killer car once your school is done and your future pans out the way it should. Hey, the ring is a "SYMBOL" of the love. The true love is the dedication you two have for each other and your goals. Tell them to pound sand.
2006-12-15 20:09:06 · answer #8 · answered by basura5150 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They sound like Beeeotches. That is totally rude of them to bring up your wedding. They knew the situation the two of you were in. All that matters is that you love your husband and he loves you and the two of you are happy. So tell your friends to F off. My friend did the whole city hall thing and I think its great. They loved each enough to just do it and be happy. I am gettting married in Aug, and I would never put my friend down. I love her! Get some new friends, honey!
2006-12-12 10:41:46 · answer #9 · answered by Mz.H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
28 yrs ago we were married on my parents' patio, by a minister, with a handful of friends attending. My brothers and but one friend has been divorced at least once.
Big weddings evolved as the peasantry tried to ape royalty. If you and husband are happy after two years, then you're ahead of the curve. Tell your freinds to go urinate up a rope ;^)
2006-12-12 10:12:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋