Now that I got your attention here's my real question. I'm 16 years old and I think I hate men. I just feel that many men in my life have dissappointed me and abused me emotionally,physically, and sexually. I was raped at 14 years old and I still don't trust men I feel like some men don't deserve to have any power or a chance to be treated with respect.An dI often find myself arguing at men and emascultaing them. I don't want to hate men but I do.How do I make this go away? What can I do to learn to like men again?
2006-12-12 09:46:26 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm going to take a wild guess here and assume that this all started shortly after you were raped. You need to seek professional counseling to get beyond this because not all men are bad and not all men will treat you bad I promise but until you can let go of your hate towards the gender that did the unspeakable act that was forced upon you it wont get any easier. And i really don't blame you, I was raped when I was in 6th grade by a senior and I hated every man that I ever saw because all that kept flashing in my head was what he had done to me. I even grew to hate my own father. Then I sought counseling and you can get it free at rape crisis centers I healed my mind and was able to move past the one event which caused me so much anger.I wish you the best.
2006-12-12 09:53:28 · answer #1 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should get some counseling, just to deal with the trauma of the sexual assault. The feelings your are exhibiting are pretty normal, one will either go this way or the total opposite and become extremely promiscuous. And have meaningless sexual relationships. Please look into get some counseling for yourself so you can talk with a trained professional regarding how you are feeling. You don't want these feelings to take over your life and not allow you the benefits of a loving relationship in the future. Not all men are horrible controlling and abusive human beings. Good luck to you and God bless****
2006-12-12 17:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm . . . I guess it's difficult for you. But you have to learn that very few men are like the one that harmed you. Lots of them are jerks, but just as many women (if not more) are at least as difficult to get along with. So . . . I guess you need to be patient and look for a nice guy to spend your life with. Put the past behind you and be sure to treat the guy you get involved with well. If you have trouble, remember that men are sensitive too and need to be loved and supported. If you look in the right places, I'm sure you'll find a good fellow to share your life with.
I must warn you though . . . men don't like psycho women. I used to like a girl who was abused as a child . . . she had serious problems. I felt bad for her, but there was a point where I couldn't stand to be around her because of her personality. Have a nice day!
2006-12-12 17:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being violated by a man will do that to you but guess what not all men are like that you have to stop hating them all, start by loving yourself first you did not ask to be violated and it was not your fault, there are group therapy that will help you overcome this hate Yahoo is a great therapy group so this is a start, it will take some time but you will get there good luck.
2006-12-12 17:54:25 · answer #4 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go to school and learn as much as you can, live like you are about to die tomorrow don't think about the past only the future and find one dude you trust just to talk and learn from the mistakes of others, if you let your heart turn cold you will have a very complicated life,learned to forgive little by little, do it for your self not for those who hurt you. Don't let the pass determined your future.
2006-12-12 17:51:53 · answer #5 · answered by PR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to counseling there are issue that you have that you can't resolved on your own. You have been put through a lot and you must learn to let go of some of these things so you can see that all men are not the same.
2006-12-12 17:54:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realise not all men are bad... a lot of them are.... but a hell of a lot of women are bad 2.
I think you need to some how "forgive" the person that did this to you, maybe write them a note but don't send it... tell them what its put you through etc, tell them you forgive them - but still want nothing to do with them. Get all your emotions out on paper, and then after that let the healing begin.
Not all men are bad... you just have to realise that. i had the same problem i was weary around men, and still am to a certain extent there are certain men that remind me of my dad (who was abusive) and i sorta freak out around them. I've learnt to overcome that by just realising they aren't him.... and they dont deserve to be treated badly by me because of what someone else did to me....
Good luck and i hope all your hurt heals
2006-12-12 17:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
start off as friends with a gay man. seriously im not even joking. but you need counseling for these issues also go to a YWCA or GIRLS INC a place to be able to talk about these feeling of hatred that you have because of the rape. Good luck honey and you an email me anytime
2006-12-12 17:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by so delicious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please get counseling. It is very hard to do this on your own without a support system
Talk to your counselor at school and they can help you find a counselor that is experienced with your situation and also they might be able to hook you up with a mental health counselor in case you can't afford a private counselor
Good Luck
2006-12-12 17:53:41 · answer #9 · answered by That_ blue_ eyed_ Irish_ lass 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hate men then just be a lesbian it's not a big deal. And only keep girls for your friends and lovers.
2006-12-12 17:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋