how do I come out of the broom closet to my christian Grand mother?

Question

Uh well my grand mother is the wildly christian type of person and I am pagan. I have been pagan for around two years and I think I am ready to come out of the broom closet to my friends and family. Though I think most of my family will understand my Grand mother is the problem I don't know how to tell her. or if it is wise to come ou to her in the first place.

SCREW YOU MSIM225. Not all pagans are lesbians, and if you are so narrow minded then you shouldn't aswering my question but asking yourself "why the hell would anyone like advice from a dumb assed douche bag like me"

Answer 1

I was in the same situation. Last Christmas I told my grandma that I was pagan. She didn't give much of a reaction. A few weeks later my dad was mad at me. He told me she cried for days because she "knew her granddaughter was going to hell". I would like to say "tough ****! I do not have control of your feelings, you do! Why can't you people who call themselves my family want to get to know ME?!?!?" It doesn't work like that. My brother is trying to help me see that I just need to keep my mouth shut and take it. When I have grandchildren someday I'll make sure to get to know who they are if they want to tell me. I don't like it but I can't change my grandma only myself.

Answer 2

This is always tough for pagans with christian families.

It's very kind and gracious of you to think of her feelings, and you must already realize that if you tell the rest of your family, there's no way to keep it from her.. someone in the family WILL tell her.
So, it's a package deal in that respect. Either tell all or tell none.

Some things to consider further..
1. How close are you to her? If you value the relationship strongly, be prepared that she may "disown" you.
2. Is she emotionally and physically strong enough to handle news like this?
3. Look deeply at your motivation for coming out of the broom closet at this time. Who will it serve most?

No matter what you decide to do, know that you are not alone in this. Many pagans have gone through this and many more will come after you.

Also, don't let the abusive responses upset you. Consider the source and that you're on a public forum. You are brave to open yourself up to the kind of people who feel it necessary to harm others to make themselves feel good. They don't know you at all. Your brother/sister pagans accept and love you, and so do the Deithe (gods/goddesses). That's just part of what makes being a pagan so awesome :)


May you be blessed your journey.

Slan agus beannacht,
Kallan

Answer 3

Oh wow... this could be messy, but you know that already or you wouldn't have asked this question. I don't know nearly as much about the beliefs of those who are pagan as I would like, but I do know that they/you do NOT have anything to do with the devil.

I would be ready with a LOT of information about your core beliefs. Your grandmother might not be willing to listen, but you never know. Make sure you can tell them all about how you are striving to be a good person, to leave the world better than you found it, etc. If you need a biblical reference, I don't have the exact verses but Jesus did tell us to love one another other as the second greatest commandment. I think this goes a long way. He also said once that good done in ANY name is good done for God. This might help smooth things out a bit.

Good luck. Blessings! And happy upcoming solstice! (I think I got that right)

Answer 4

Okay, why are you doing this? Is it some thing that she needs to know? Or are you just trying to have an honest relationship with your grandmother?

Honesty is all well and good, but you have to consider how your family will react. Also consider what you hope to gain by this revelation. I don't know your family well enough to advise on this. Just think of all the effects your decision will have before you take a course. best wishes.

Answer 5

You could sound them out first by talking about the religion in general, and then once they understand it a little, tell them. I'd say get some of your closer family's support first and then decide if you want to tell your Grandmother. If there's no reason she'd need to know, maybe you can reconsider. After all, coming out doesn't mean you have to come out to *everyone*.

Wishing you luck!

Answer 6

i told my grand mother i was pagan once. she forgot, but thats okay..it was probably better that way. this is the woman who kicked my uncle out of the house when he was 21 because he wouldnt go to church. i dont know, as my grandma got older she got softer. i told her i wasnt christian anymore; plain and simple, no going around it, i just blurted it out "I'm not Christian" (catholic to be exact) all she did was ask me why in a kinda voice that didnt understand. and i just told her my reasons as to why i liked the pagan religion and why i decided to go with that than the whole burn in hell for being different concept. deep down i think it might matter, but being my grandmother she was very considerate and didnt blurt out anything obnoxious or mean at all. she was very kind, which is why i love her. after all she did once call herself "fay". i'm not going to say dont expect nothing, but expect everything. that way you'll be surprised by the way it'll turn out. no worries, grandmothers are tough little buggers, she wont have a heart attack. heck shes grown up with your parents, that should tell you something. dont worry about what she thinks, or if she says anything bad to you, its your decision, and yours alone. but i wish you the best of luck in this problem you're facing. but believe me, if she says anything mean; she doesnt mean it, its just her anger and old mind doing it. grandmothers are stubborn! :)

Answer 7

If you feel you really need to tell her, be prepared for anything. Sometimes you never know what to expect.

However, try telling her the truth, have some reference material handy, and should it come down to her being in any way disappointed, then remind her that no matter what, you still love her and will treat her with kindness.

It is so hard to tell what family will do. Sometimes they are very supportive, sometimes they just can not open their minds to new concepts.

I wish you luck, and Goddess bless.

Answer 8

You can come out without coming out to everyone. from what you've said, I doubt your grandmother would take it well, and it could affect your relationship with her. Perhaps just don't say anything unless you're directly asked. She may figure it out one day on her own, anyhow. I do not see anything wrong with not saying anything to preserve your relationship. Denying it is something entirely different, but you are entitled to keep your religion to yourself, if you think that is whats best. Blessings and strength to you in whatever you decide to do, and I hope for the best for you.

Answer 9

My suggestion is not to tell her, unless there is some particular reason she really needs to know. I was raised a Christian and I considered converting to Judaism for many years, and never told my Grandma, although I did tell the rest of the family. She never ever would have understood, and I just didn't see any point in having her worry about it.

Answer 10

some people are set in their ways, sometimes its not good to discuss things like that. You dont know what she'll do if she finds out, if you want to have a good relationship with her, then maybe you should find out before what her reaction might be. Maybe bring it up in hypothetical. However some people act like they are tolerant and change their mind when its one of their own thats different. So that might not be 100% effective way.