I am a mother of five with one on the way and sometimes things can get a bit hectic at home, I am not obsessive about cleaning at all nor am I very materialistic but I am house proud and I like a tidy house.My kids are all responsible for their own rooms and they do a good job but the house always has a cluttered feel to it.
Recently my husband and I visited friends out of town for a night,and despite having seven kids under 15 they were able to entertain us in a lovely clean and comfy room a luxury I never have at home.
My friend informed us that they have what are called "kids free" zones it includes their bedroom,a large living room and other areas they decide on.The kids are not allowed in these rooms. Is this weird?The idea is nice but realistically is it unfair to exclude my 12&13 yr old from rooms in their own home?It would have to be one rule for all with no exceptions.Do any of you exercise a rule like this in your home?
2006-12-12 09:11:16 · 39 answers · asked by strictmom 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My grandmother has a large home. It has three living rooms! One is the always used tv room, one is a rec room but also with couches and a tv and one is a formal living room. It has no tv and is for entertaining. No one goes in it unless there is a formal affair--which is rare. If I had a house like that then yes I can see telling the kids not to play in that room. When we were growing up we knew not to play in the formal living room but we were allowed anywhere else.
However, if we're talking about the only living room in the house--I cannot see making the kids stay out of it. In our house the rule is that they can't bring their toys in the living room. By toys I mean large toys. My youngest sometimes brings in a few matchbox cars. My oldest sits and reads. I don't mind if they read and watch tv in the living room but if they're going to drag out toys they have a room in which to do it. As for our bedroom, they cannot be in there during the day but are welcome to come in early in the mornings or in the middle of the night if they want to snuggle. There is just no reason for them to be in there during the day. They have their own rooms.
As for having a tidy home...I used to be a major clean freak. I had it bad. My house looked more like a museum. But then I had kids and things started to look cluttered more times than not. At first I had a tough time with it. But then I realized that when I'd go to visit other people I was always more relaxed and comfortable in homes that were clean but felt lived in rather than the homes that looked like they were in magazines. I now keep my house clean but I don't stress over the clutter and if someone comes over I don't fall all over myself trying to make things look perfect. We live in this house. I have two kids with another on the way. I have two cats and a dog. People will walk in and know we are clean but they will also know we live here and I've gotten more compliments on my home since I've slacked off. I think when a house has a lived in feel it is homier and more inviting and people respond to that.
2006-12-12 11:30:48 · answer #1 · answered by Amelia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bedroom and your bathroom should be off limits unless you invite them. Otherwise where's the privacy, the place to hide gifts, the secluded spot for a bit of alone time.
My mom and dad had 8 kids. You did not dare enter their bedroom unless you were fairly sick or they asked. You need to have at least one sacred place, but the kids deserve to have their spots to.
Never heard of not allowing them in the living room. Why have kids if you are not going to enjoy their company? If children our never allowed to earn respect and feel responsible then you are never going to want them around.
Sounds like you need to extend the chores to the kitchen and livingroom area. You may be buying them more things than you and they have space for. Talk it out with your husband, maybe you can make more space by getting rid of things and giving each child a place to keep things in each area of the house. Organize realistically by putting things in the general area they always wind up.
If you thought it was a weird setup, then it is, and you don't have to implement your friends rules, just find your own way to be happy with what you can reasonably manage. Enjoy the children and family life, it doesn't last forever. Lower your standards so you can have friends over without feeling guilty. We cannot all be neat freaks, and paying a mortgage for space you do not allow anyone to use unless visitors are over just sounds foolish.
2006-12-12 09:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in a house with a family room and a living room, and the living room was off limits except when we had company. We could lie all over the family room, the tv was there, and do homework, have friends over, etc. I only got to go in the living room on Saturdays to dust and vacuum. Most of the time the drapes were closed in there to protect the carpet and furniture from the sunlight. We all accepted it and there was no problem. I don't have the luxury of a family room now.
2006-12-12 09:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes Mam!! I have that rule at home! I have two living rooms... One room is my "entertaining room"... used for when I have guests. It has a lot of valuable paintings, and whatnot that I don't want accidentally destroyed!!! Then I have my family living room where my kids and I watch tv, play video games, etc. This room is totally devoted to family time. Now my entertaining room, to show my kids how much I value this room, and would like to keep this room as a "kids free" zone... I, myself don't even go in there, unless I am dusting or straightening up. My children are fine with it! Not to mention, that they also have their own space too! We call it the play room! The room is totally devoted to their play time!
2006-12-12 23:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by Toya B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that a parents bedroom should be a private place for mom and dad. But, i think living spaces are just that...spaces for living and spaces that a family should share. I would hate to think of a house where everyone only stays in their own room. So, why not try to find a happy medium. And instead of having "kid free" zones... how about zones that are free of the kids stuff! Hope this helps! Good luck with your decision!
2006-12-12 09:30:40 · answer #5 · answered by raynesmomie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I'm afraid I couldn't do that. I prefer my home to be "family" oriented, and not allowing my child in a certain room in my house sounds a bit much, especially when they are over 12. I would think getting them to help keep the house tidy would be a fairer situation than just banning them from a room. What do they learn by that?
I think by you coming here to ask others opinions of this type of thing that you aren't really comfortable with the idea yourself. If you were, you would have just gone ahead and done it. I can see how the parents bedroom would be off limits, but to ban the children from the living room isn't a good idea, in my opinion.
2006-12-12 09:16:59 · answer #6 · answered by poppet 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't really think it's weird. In some homes, they call it a formal sitting room or formal dining room. Kids are allowed only when the parents are there, and even more specifically, when they are entertaining. If you have the space to do this, then why not? I don't have kids yet, but when we do and if we stayed in our condo, the rule wouldn't make sense. But if we move to a large home? You bet!
2006-12-12 09:14:58 · answer #7 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well honestly for me, i feel this is OUR home...meaning my husbands, mine and the children. Right now my children are to young to help with chores, but at 2 1/2 years old, they will put toys back in their room if asked. I would love to have a clean home all the time, but its not going to happen. Maybe since you have children who are older, you can tell them when they bring something into the living room for example, use it but once done, it goes back to its proper spot. Hopefully that will reduce the clutter if they pitch in a little. It is up to you whatever you decide, and good luck!!
2006-12-12 10:00:43 · answer #8 · answered by misty n justin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never do that to my children but some rules would apply for special rooms. My bedroom...Knock before entering at all times and wait for a parent to give you permission to enter. As for other rooms if you don't have a TV or any games in one of the rooms the kids would stay away in general.
2006-12-12 09:20:49 · answer #9 · answered by letfreedomring 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We didn't have that rule when we were growing up. We had a formal dining room and we used it for formal occasions and for everyday activities like studying. But I did have a some friends, when I was around middle school age (12 & 13-ish), who had similar "kid free" zones. I don't recall the rooms having actual names ("kid free zone") but, we were not allowed into these particular rooms when we were playing or generally hanging around their homes. It was odd to me as a kid but, the rules were strictly enforced and my friends seemed no worse for it. (I remember once, just running through the formal dining hall at a friend's house -- we had to crawl back through and "wipe" my feet-marks in the carpet, away.) It is your home. Be happy in it.
2006-12-12 09:19:26 · answer #10 · answered by Shibi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋