How do I help my friend. Before she destroys or ends her life? Shes 14!?

Question

One of my bestfriends was in the hospital for 2 weeks. When she returned to school, she said she was sick. Finally when we got alone, yesterday she told me that she had taken a whole bunch of pills along with alcholic Long Island Ice Tea. She said her heart stopped 3 times, and she was in the hosp. for a week and the Physcward for a week. She said she did it because she was depressed about her dad moving alllll the way to California (We live in Illinois) and she said her mom had been constantly making comments on her being "fat" and she's not fat. Shes average. She said she hasnt ate since Saturday and today is Tuesday. She said shes very tired and shes been taking Anti-Depressants making her feel alittle better. But she was falling asleep in class. Today, she didnt come to class. I'm sure its nothing major because she said shes not thinking about suicide, and if she was she would tell me. I tried to cheer her up, HOW DO I HELP HER? She is seing a shrink but she said its not helping.

Answer 1

Call her parents asap, and tell them what she said to you. Depression can KILL! Even if she is TELLING you she's not thinking of hurting herself, she is also telling you that therapy isnt working. I wouldnt trust her own judgement right now. Be a good friend and call her parents. Suicide shouldnt be taken so lightly, especially in this country where suicide rates are so high. Good luck.

Answer 2

You say that she isn't thinking of suicide, but she obviously is if she took pills ok? You need to look at the signs. But you're probably right, you probably would have found out if it was suicide by now. Even though you may think it's nothing serious someone still needs to know. All the little "not serious" things can add up to one very big serious thing so you can't ignore them. I would set up a meeting with your school's guidance counselor and talk with them about it. I know you're thinking that it's embarrasing, that it's not really what you think it is, but what if it IS what you think it is and by the time other people know about it it's because they're at her funeral. It is much better to just have the meeting and be wrong if you're wrong than to ignore it and have a dead friend. Set up a meeting and tell them everything your friend has told you, in addition to any worrying behavior or things she has said in an offhand way that hint at suicide or self harm, etc. They may already know about her hospital stay (they probably do) and already know that she took the pills, etc. but they won't know about her not eating or her being depressed. Unlike other people have said, I do NOT think you should go straight to her parents. They might not believe you and she would know who it was. If you tell your guidance counselor he/she WILL believe you and take you seriously, be able to do something, and if you don't want them to they will keep your identity private. It sounds like she just needs her dosage uped to me, but it could be something more. If no one knows then she's not going to be able to get any more help. Good luck to both of you.

Answer 3

Your friend is feeling lonely as the one thing which she has been sure of in her life is that her dad will be there for her. Think of it in a baby mother sense, Its to do with attachment in childhood, the dad is the provider and is now gone, this will bring on stress related symptons usally relating to onset depression. The fact that her Dad has now gone has also induced an attention seeking deficit within your friend, your friend as i said previously is feeling unloved, lonely, bored and unprovided for, as girls are natrually attached to the father anyway you may also find she will need a replacement figurehead such as a supportive boyfriend.

My ex girlfriend was the same age but her dad died !! I met her a year after her dad died. she was then self harming, drinking loads, she was rushed to hospital for downing Vodka and pills. Her mum was just as bad. She used to tell me how lonely she felt, it felt like i couldnt help her. But i noticed the more time a spent with her goin out doin stuff the better she got, when she self harmed on a bad day, it upset me and i made her understand that so she stopped !! I stayed round her house often, hugged her asleep and often put her needs before mine I have never seen a girl cry so many tears as Lucy did, but eventually after a few months into our relationship she was happier. Although we have split now she is a stronger person and happy wiv friends and now i think the scars have healed on her. I can safely say it was worth every minute of my time to spend time with her. Love Eh !!!!

It will give you a chance to become closer to her all you can do as a good friend is be with her more than you ever have, be really caring towards her, dont let your feelings be on top of her shes got enough to deal with. Best way against depression is just to get out more do stuff thats fun and let her know her Dad is still here !!! It may also be that the shrink isnt very good.

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Answer 4

I used to be like this, not to that extent, but almost. make her realize suicide is NEVER the answer to anything, in fact, she could get taken away and put in a psych ward for a while if she tries it again. i've thought about suicide and almost went through with my plans a few times when i was that age. i'm 16 now. believe me, life gets better as u get older. reassure her that everything will get better even if it doesn't seem that way now. mothers are mothers and will always be like that, mine is like that too.

it's good that she's seeing a shrink, but if it's not helping her maybe she should try a different one.

make sure you're always there for your friend, try sleeping over her house or her sleeping at urs so u can keep and eye on her and HAVE FUN!

trust me, life gets better. it always does. there's so much to look forward too at the age of 14. permits, dances, license, prom, college, jobs and just everything.

Answer 5

You need to help her before she puts herself in more danger if she put herself in harms way. She could die on those pills. Try to make her feel like shes not fat tell her that shes beautiful. My parents fight they never get along I was always trying to get over it by not letting myself have any emotions. I started to go away from the world and all this crazy stuff. But any way you need to help her. It is such a stressful time in her life that of course she is probably thinking about suicide. But help her tell the mom that shes bothering her and thinking that shes fat but shes not. Give her attention stay with her make plans to hang out after school. She needs to know that she is still loved. Help her please before shes losing her own life. The stage shes in right now is depression and its going to get worse if you don't help her right now. Your like the only person who knows her and who could help her.

Answer 6

Hey I was born in waukegan illinois and I live in the Bay Area, California. Maybe I can take her dad with me when I fly over there next week to visit my family in Gurnee and Zion Illinois!
Seeing her dad will definately cheer her up.

Answer 7

I think you have to talk to her mum, because i think her mum is not seeing the situation as she should be doing and i don't think her mum understands that your friend is depressed enough because her dad is moving away never mind her mum calling her fat when she's not. First talk to your friend's mum, then talk to your friend and then try to bring all of you 3 together to talk about the situation and i hope it get's cleared! God bless!:)

Answer 8

Talk to a teacher, explain what's going on. I think she can point you in the right direction Good Luck

Answer 9

some people need to get busy living or get busy dying. probably just wants attention. real suicide victims don't generally talk to others about their life and reasons for depression. sounds like she wants everything to be about her. stop feeding the needy self absorbed monster

Answer 10

Take her back to the hospital, notify her parents, call a distress centre hotline if you have to. She needs help and fast!